“When my father would leave on a business trip, which was frequent, my mom would come in here and we’d make a pallet on the floor, watch movies, eat candy, and fall asleep. She used to sleep with a smile on her face.”
“Because you made her happy.” I smile listening to the lightness in his voice. “It’s clear she adored you.”
“I wonder if she smiled with my father. She used to tell me she wanted me so badly that she didn’t want to miss a minute with me.” He sits up, looking toward the open doors of the balcony. “I think my dad felt competitive with me. Jealous of me.”
“You were a baby. He didn’t have to compete.”
“My father will win, or he’ll annihilate anyone that threatens him or his empire.”
“Was he always so mean?”
“Mean? I’m not sure I’d use that term when describing him. Malicious, unforgiving, insecure, but mean seems a little light.” His eyes meet mine, unyielding when he says, “I’m a lot like him. I’ll push you away, and if you’re strong enough to stay, I’ll destroy everything I once loved about you while destroying myself in the process.” A harsh breath is sucked in, and his expression softens. “Just like he did to my mother.”
Fear presides over me as he watches my reaction. My chest feels hollow of beats until I release a shaky breath. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. “You tell me your family will come first, then threaten me. Your scare tactics won’t work, Alexander. I see you, the real you. I know where your heart, where your love, lies. You can believe that you’re bad, that all the good in you died when your mother did, but you’re a lot like her. You’ve just forgotten. You need to find those qualities and hold on to them. They’re the ones that will save you when you need it most.”
“I thought you were here to save me?” He kisses my neck.
“I can’t save someone so determined to die.”
“I don’t want to die, sweetheart.” He chuckles as he gets up and walks to the end of the bed where his clothes were discarded earlier. “Our fairy tale is just beginning.”
Never had I confessed the dreams I’ve held captive in my heart. One day we might get the life that seems so distant from the one we’re living now. I’m not na?ve. I know there’s darkness in the lightness of Alexander’s eyes. It’s always there even when his mood contradicts it. Despite that, hearing him talk about our fairy tale gives life to my dreams.
“Where are you going?” I ask, even though I know he won’t tell me.
Slipping on his jeans, he keeps his tone casual as if this is an everyday conversation. “I have business to take care of.”
“It’s two thirty in the morning.”
When his shirt slides down over his head, he says, “You should get some rest.”
“You should too.”
A smirk plays on his face. “If I asked you not to worry about me, could you?”
“I don’t worry about you,” I say, lying. “I worry about the other guy.”
His laugh befits the dark room. “What if I said there isn’t an other guy?”
“Well, I know there’s not another girl.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know how much you love me.”
Pulling me by the ankles, I’m left flat on my back as he crawls onto the bed over me. Playful Alexander is my most favorite.
“You see right through me. You always have.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Go to sleep, Firefly.” When he stands, he grabs his shoes from the floor and heads to the door.
“Alexander?”
“Yeah?”
“Be careful.”
“I always am.”
One shoe is slipped on and then he does the other as I roll to my side and prop my head up on my arm. The door’s about to close behind him when he opens it back up. “Sara Jane?”
“Yes?”
“I wasn’t threatening you. I was warning you, so you can save yourself.”
I had accepted my fate the day I met him. “Like you once said, it’s already too late for me.”
Our eyes hold long enough for reality to sink in. He bows his head as he ducks out, his gaze falling with his expression. The door is closed as he leaves me in the quarters built for a king’s prince, with ghosts of his troubled life keeping me company.
I close my eyes and pull the covers tight under my chin. The bed feels too big without his presence filling it. My worries are bigger. Can I save him before he destroys himself and me along with him? Will he ever feel true happiness, soul-searing joy in the life he’s living? Or will I always be left with these unsettled emotions twisted in my gut?
He’s always kept secrets from me, but now they seem too big for him to suppress. This mansion hidden behind a long drive and expansive lawns, wrought iron gates, and security cameras, holds the key to Alexander’s peace of mind and I’m determined to find it before his past overshadows his future.
8
Sara Jane
When I wake up, the space next to me is still empty. Alexander hasn’t returned. I glance to the clock and it’s just past eight. The sun is shining and I can’t sleep anymore. I take my phone from the nightstand, text Alexander, and head into the bathroom to take a shower. I love days when I don’t have classes until late morning. Not having to rush lets me ease into the busyness that will be this afternoon.
After my shower, I head for the closet where I’ve taken over a small section in the corner. But I stop on the way when something white catches my eye by the door.
An envelope.
Walking closer, my name is printed, not written, but printed on the front. I bend down and pick it up, curious to what it is. Opening it, I read:
Sara Jane,
Please join me for breakfast at 9 a.m. sharp in the dining room.
With Regards, Alexander Kingwood III
It’s not a request. I have a feeling I don’t have much choice. This is a demand. I stare at the invitation, reading it again and again. I’ve never spent time with Alexander’s father alone. Maybe I won’t be. Maybe Alexander will be there too.
Do I RSVP or just show up in the dining room? Butterflies turn to bees in my stomach, and I feel sick. This is so far out of my comfort zone that I don’t want to go. Why now? After years. Why does he want to speak with me now? I can’t let my worries get ahead of me.
Shit. What do I wear? I rush into the closet and look at what’s available. There’s not much that isn’t shorts or jeans with a T-shirt. I find one cute blouse and my nicest jeans with a pair of flats. This will have to work. I rush back into the bathroom, realizing how much time I squandered in the shower when I thought I had a lazy morning.