The house had four bedrooms. Since I’d turned one of them into an exercise room, Justin used the other one as an office during the day. His muffled voice could often be heard from behind the door as he made work calls. Apparently, the company he worked for sold business solutions software.
Jade and I were working almost every night at Sandy’s as well as the occasional afternoon. One day in particular, we were on break when we overheard the restaurant owner, Salvatore, complaining that the band who performed most nights had suddenly quit. Sandy’s was probably the most popular spot on the entire island for live music. That’s what it was known for even more than the food. So, this didn’t bode well for business.
Jade’s voice was low. “I wonder if Justin would be interested in playing here.”
I’d been feeling kind of sick as it was this afternoon, but the mere mention of his name made my stomach feel even more unsettled.
“You think he would want to perform in a place like this?”
“Well, he’s used to bigger venues, but it’s not like he’s doing anything else. He took the summer off, but I get the feeling he actually regrets it. He’s been in a horrible mood since we got here. I think he’s itching to play again. It might do him some good to get back in the game for a bit on a smaller scale. It’s not like there would be any pressure. No one knows him out here.”
The thought of getting to see Justin perform gave me goosebumps. On one hand, it would be amazing. On the other, I knew it would be painful for me to have to endure him here at night. His actually agreeing to it probably wouldn’t pan out, so I vowed not to obsess over it unless it became a reality.
“I’m gonna talk to Salvatore,” Jade said.
I tried to change the subject. “Do you think you and Justin will get married?” Not sure why I asked that question. I’d been curious as to how serious they were, and it just came out.
Jade hesitated. “I don’t know. I really love him. I hope so if we can work out our differences.”
“Differences? Like what?”
She took a sip of her water then frowned. “Well, Justin doesn’t want kids.”
“What? He told you that?”
“Yeah. He says he feels it’s irresponsible to bring children into the world unless you can be one-hundred percent sure of your capabilities as a parent. He says he doesn’t feel that his own parents should have ever had children, and he just doesn’t think it’s for him.”
“Really…”
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want kids anytime soon. My career comes first right now, but someday I would like to have them. So, if he definitely doesn’t want kids, then that could be a problem.”
“He’ll probably change his mind as he gets older. He’s still so young.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s really bad. He won’t even have sex with me without a condom, even though I’m on the pill and we’re monogamous. He refuses to take even the slightest chance because he’s so fearful. He’s super paranoid.”
Trying to block out the images of them having sex, I simply said, “Wow.”
It made me really sad that Justin felt that way because of his parents. They were constantly working and never paid enough attention to him when we were kids. His mother was always away on business trips. That was part of why Nana was so important to him. Truthfully, my mother shouldn’t have had a child either. But her poor parenting didn’t stop me from wanting to have a child of my own someday.
Jade took a closer look at my face. “Are you feeling alright?”
I think the stress of my reunion with Justin was finally catching up with me. My nerves were shot, and it was all making me sick.
“Actually, I’ve been feeling ill all day. My stomach is upset, and I have a headache.”
“Why don’t you go home early? I’ll cover your shift and let Janine know what’s up.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll owe you then.”
“Believe me, there will come a time that I get called back to New York, and you’ll make due on that.”
“Okay,” I said, getting up and unfastening the black smock tied around my back.
The entire walk home, despite my vowing not to think about it, my thoughts once again turned to Justin and the fact that Jade was going to try to get him the gig at Sandy’s. It had been years since I’d heard his singing voice. I wondered what it sounded like now that it was deeper and with years of practice.
Justin’s older black Range Rover was parked outside of the house. He was expecting Jade and I to both be at work. I had to pass through the kitchen to get upstairs to my room and hoped I didn’t have to run into him without Jade here as a buffer.
Relief washed over me as I entered the empty kitchen. I grabbed a water bottle and some Advil for my headache and tiptoed up the stairs so that Justin didn’t notice me home.
The sound of heavy breathing coming from his bedroom stopped me in my tracks at the top of the stairwell. I could hear sheets rustling. My heart beat faster. He didn’t think anyone would be home.
Oh my God.
He must have a girl in there.
Shit.