"But she adores you. How is her pregnancy coming along?"
"She's doing all right now. But she's making a lot of noise about me being around more when the baby is born."
"Would you quit the team?" she asked, hoping that wouldn't be the case but completely understanding if it was. Getting called out at a moment's notice was easier when you weren’t leaving behind a family.
"I'm thinking about it," he admitted. "But nothing is decided. If I do change things up, you'd be a good leader for this team."
"I don’t even want to think about taking your job."
"Well, you don't have to. Just find that little girl and that monster before he strikes again."
*
Thursday morning, Nathan hit the pavement just before seven, putting in a good six miles along the river, hoping each pounding step would drive thoughts of Bree out of his head. But it didn't work. He couldn't stop thinking about her.
She'd changed her last name from Larson to Adams. She'd changed her demeanor, too, not nearly as soft and kind and insecure as she'd once been. Now, she was a strong, determined, federal agent doing one of the hardest jobs in the world. And he found himself liking her more, which was exactly the opposite of the way he wanted to feel.
He'd spent far too much time in his life liking Bree, lusting after her, thinking she might finally wake up one day and see him, instead of every other idiot guy chasing after her.
She'd told him last night that he'd changed when they reconnected in high school after a few years apart. That was true. A lot had happened in those years that she hadn't known anything about—still didn't know anything about—and he hadn't been able to tell her.
But it wasn't just his secrets that had pushed them apart; it was realizing how much he wanted her when she clearly did not want him.
Instead, she'd chosen Johnny Hawke, the oldest of three boys born into a criminal family that ran a boxing gym as a front for their gambling and drug business.
Johnny was funny, charming, a talker who liked to flash his cash and his car in a part of town where that kind of money came with a lot of power. Bree had gotten caught up in Johnny's world. And for a short time, he had as well, mostly because he'd wanted to stay close to Bree, not because he'd wanted to hang with Johnny.
Frowning, he picked up his pace, trying to outrun the past, but that was going to be impossible with Bree in town. He'd already checked the news upon waking up, and Hayley was still missing, which meant Bree wasn't going anywhere.
He didn't know if she was truly done with Kyle; he hoped so—for Josie's sake. But there was nothing more he could do about it. He needed to keep his distance from Bree and from the past. When he ran out of path, he turned around and headed home. He'd just entered his apartment, when his phone rang. It was Adrienne.
Good. He needed a reminder that he had a different life now.
"Adrienne."
"You didn't call me back last night," Adrienne complained, a little whine in her voice that was starting to grate on him.
"Sorry. I was hanging with Josie." That wasn't really true. He had spoken to Josie again after the incident at Kyle's office, but he'd spent the rest of the night at home watching the Cubs and trying not to think about Bree.
"Is Grace okay?" Adrienne asked.
"She's hanging in there, but it's a bad situation."
"I'm sorry. I know you have a lot on your mind, but my college friend, Kari, is in town tonight. I really want you to meet her. Can you come to dinner or drinks after?"
None of that sounded appealing. "Maybe drinks," he hedged. "Can I call you later?"
"Sure. I just miss you, Nathan. It doesn't seem like we're seeing each other too often these days. I want to get back on track."
"We will," he muttered, feeling like the biggest asshole when he hung up the phone. He hadn't given Adrienne one single thought since he'd run into Bree.
It was ridiculous. He should be over Bree by now. Hell, he should have been over her twelve years ago—fifteen years ago. He didn't know what it was about her that stuck with him…
Actually, he did know.
It was the girl he'd met when he was thirteen, who'd captured his heart. Her smile had felt like the sun coming out after a relentless series of storms. Her friendship had been sweet and generous. They'd whiled away the hours watching silly cartoons and then being ruthlessly competitive at card games.
They'd roamed the city streets, made up stories of how great their lives were going to be one day, pretending that the reality they were actually living would one day completely vanish.
She'd been his escape. And he'd been hers. But then life had gotten in the way.
Years had passed.
When they came back together, everything was different.
And then there was Johnny.
He'd thought she'd come out of her crush eventually. He'd thought she'd wake up much sooner than she had.
But then there was her secret, which had become his secret, too.
Shaking his head, he jumped into the shower. Running hadn’t worked; maybe some ice-cold water would at least dull the memories.
Five
She was not cut out for desk work, Bree thought, as she sat through another briefing Thursday morning and then watched various agents head out the door to chase down leads in Hayley's case. After spending three hours reviewing surveillance videos near Hayley's school, answering the lead line, and running through the Cubs' list of ring owners, she was feeling frustrated and restless.
She was at her best when she was in the field. She was good at engaging people in conversation, at reading witnesses, at assessing situations. Dan had told her to do what she did and worry about the politics later. She needed to follow his advice.
Plus, sitting around the office was giving her way too much time to think about Nathan.
It had been so strange seeing him the day before. And their conversation outside of Kyle's office had been surprising on a lot of levels.
She felt guilty that Nathan had taken a beating for her. She'd forced him into helping her, so the fact that he'd also been hurt made her feel terrible. Now, she had a better understanding of why he'd been so angry when he'd first seen her, why he hadn't been able to answer a simple question as to whether they were friends or enemies or just people who used to know each other.
Obviously, he had very mixed feelings when it came to her. How could she blame him? She'd brought him into her crisis, gotten him hurt, and then never talked to him again. No wonder he'd thought she was selfish and made bad choices.
But she was different now. And seeing him again reminded her of the good times before all the bad stuff, the times when they had been the best of friends. They had had fun together. They had laughed and talked and dreamed together.
That connection had been broken when she'd gone into foster care and had had to live farther away. Three years had passed before she made it into the same high school as Nathan and by then everything had changed.
Well, it didn't matter now. She was happy he'd gotten his life together, that he was building houses and that his sister had a family who loved her.
She was also glad she'd come back a better person. At least, Nathan could see that she'd changed, improved, and turned her life around. His help had not been for nothing. She wished that she'd told him that the day before.
She also kind of wished that she'd have a chance to see him again, but that was probably unwise. He'd told her he didn't want to get dragged back into the mud with her, and while she had no intention of getting caught in the mud, maybe it was best if they just let things stand where they were.