“Will you go for a walk with me?”
By the time we made it to the edge of the yard the lanterns were just tiny little specks in the sky, and I was a hundred percent sure that Ren hadn’t gotten over what happened in Rome. He just kept trudging after me like a well-dressed robot, and I felt myself sinking lower and lower. Was this even going to work?
The yard was terraced and we walked down some steps, passing a couple making out against a tree and a group of guys riding around on croquet mallets like they were jockeys. Totally something we’d laugh about. That is, if we were talking.
Finally we came to a white stone bench and Ren sat down. I sat down next to him.
“Amazing party,” I said.
He just shrugged.
Okay. He wasn’t going to make this easy on me.
“I guess I’ll just get right into it.” My voice was wobbly. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re smart and funny, and really easy to be around, and you’re basically the one person I’ve met since my mom died who I don’t feel like I have to act fake around. And I’m really, really sorry about what happened in Rome. Kissing you wasn’t fair because you have a girlfriend . . . or had a girlfriend . . .” I looked at him, hoping he’d clarify, but he didn’t say anything.
“Anyway. I didn’t know right until that moment how I felt about you, but I should have just told you instead of basically jumping on you. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I really like you. A lot. But if you don’t feel the same way about me, it’s okay. Because you’re really important to me, and I hope we can still be friends.”
Suddenly a second round of cheering started up on the lawns and there was a hissing noise followed by the pop of a red firework exploding across the sky.
It would have been the perfect moment for Ren to gather me in his arms and profess his undying love.
Only he didn’t.
I shifted uncomfortably. A few more fireworks went off, but Ren didn’t even look up.
“It would be really awesome if you’d say something.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? And back in Rome, why’d you say that you’d never thought of me as more than a friend?”
Crap. I shouldn’t have said that.
“I guess I was trying to save face. You obviously didn’t want to kiss me, and I was so embarrassed. I was just trying to fix the situation.”
He looked up. “Well, you’re wrong. I really did want to kiss you, but I stopped because I was worried you didn’t mean it. Meeting Matteo was pretty crazy, and I didn’t want things to happen just because you were in the middle of some kind of emotional roller coaster. And then afterward, you told me you didn’t mean it.”
“But I did. That’s what I’m—”
He cut me off. “I liked Mimi for a long time. Like two years. I thought about her all the time and then when things finally started happening between us I thought I was the luckiest guy ever. But then I met you and suddenly I was avoiding her calls and trying to think of ways to get you to hang out with me. So the night we went to Space I called her and broke up with her. I didn’t know if things were going to work out between you and me, but I really wanted the chance.”
He shook his head. “Then we went to Rome. And then all that stuff happened. And now tonight . . .” He stood up. “Why do you think you can be all over Thomas and then come tell me you like me?”
A whole different kind of fireworks exploded behind my eyes. “Why do you think you can be all over Mimi and then tell me you liked me all along? You’re the one who’s had a girlfriend all this time.”
“You’re right. Had a girlfriend. Who I broke up with. And I’m not the one who was just rolling around on the ground with someone else. What am I? Your backup plan?”
I jumped to my feet. “If you’d actually been watching, you would have noticed that I pushed Thomas off me and told him I like you, but forget it. I don’t even care anymore.”
“Me neither. I’m going back to the party. And you’d better get back to your date.” He turned and walked away.
“Stronzo!” I yelled.
A heart-shaped firework exploded over his head.
Chapter 28
IT TOOK HOWARD ALMOST AN hour to find Valentina’s house. For one thing, I didn’t know who Valentina was, and for another, I couldn’t find anyone who knew the address. Selma and her bionic cleavage were nowhere to be found, and I couldn’t find Elena or Marco or anyone else I recognized. Finally I got the bouncer to tell me where I was, but he didn’t speak much English and kept guarding his clipboard from me like he thought I was trying to trick him into giving me access. Finally I just forced my phone on him and he gave directions to Howard.