Nothing mattered but Gen.
He was sure that he’d survive this, that he’d learn to get along and just live his life. But caring about what was left of that life? Well, that was another thing entirely.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The day Breanna came to see her, Gen was working on a list of finalists for the next spot in her residency. She’d asked Alex to set up phone interviews with some of the most promising candidates, and she was sorting through their information when she heard the front door of the gallery open.
She looked up and there was Breanna, standing in the doorway looking uncertain and tentative.
“Breanna,” Gen said. She felt a hard knot of pain in her chest. “Come on in. Is everything okay?”
“No.” Breanna came into the gallery clutching her purse in front of her. “No, it’s not okay. Can we go somewhere and talk?”
Gen sat across from Breanna at a café table at Jitters, Gen with a mug of coffee in front of her, Breanna with her hands wrapped around a cup of tea. Alex was manning the gallery. It was midmorning, and the coffee place had a smattering of customers working on laptops or chatting over lattes and scones.
“So, what is this about?” Gen said once they were settled. She’d always liked Breanna, and part of her sorrow over losing Ryan had to do with the loss of his family as well.
“It’s about you. And Ryan. He’s miserable, you know. He’s … I’ve never seen him like this. He works, and he comes home, and he does all of the usual things, but … he’s not there. Not really.”
The thought of him unhappy made the backs of her eyes feel hot with unshed tears.
“Oh.”
“You didn’t even hear him out. You didn’t even let him try to explain.”
“There was nothing to say.” Gen blinked hard to clear her vision.
“Yes, there was. But he won’t say it. He’s too proud. So I have to say it for him.”
“Breanna …”
“Just listen to me. If you won’t listen to him, listen to me.” Something in her voice made Gen stop protesting.
“All right.”
Breanna took a sip of her tea and then set the cup carefully back on the table. “A few years ago, before you moved to Cambria, Ryan was involved with a woman.”
Gen felt a knot in her chest at the thought of him with someone else. It didn’t matter that it had happened before he met her.
“He was … They were very serious,” Breanna went on. “He was thinking marriage, kids, the whole bit.”
“What happened?” Gen wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
“She tried to take advantage of him. Her parents’ business was failing—because of their own incompetence—and she wanted him to bail them out. He said no, and it ended them.”
Gen was appalled. “She broke up with him over money?”
“If you’d asked her about it, she would have said no. They didn’t break up right away. But …” She shrugged. “That was the beginning of the end for them. She started picking fights over little things, finding fault with him over this or that. We all knew it was about the money.”
“God,” Gen said.
Breanna leaned closer to Gen. “You have to understand how complicated it is for him. The money—it makes everything harder. More confusing. There’s always the question of whether a woman really wants him for him. And if she needs money for something … for anything, really … it becomes this big minefield he has to navigate. If he gives it to her, he wonders if she’s using him. On the other hand, if he doesn’t …”
“Then he worries that they’ll leave,” Gen finished for her.
“Right. And that doesn’t even touch on the issue of the family.”
“The family?”
“Well, it’s not Ryan’s money, individually. It belongs to the family. He takes that responsibility seriously. He doesn’t want our parents to think he’s being frivolous or foolish. That’s so important to him. He really worries about how they see him.”
Gen pulled a paper napkin out of the metal dispenser on the table and started twisting it in her fingers. “So when this thing with Bellini came up …”
“He was damned if he did, and damned if he didn’t.”
A fat tear spilled down Gen’s cheek and plopped onto the table. “Yeah. I can see that.”
“And, Gen.” Breanna looked at her intently. “When he didn’t know what to do, he erred on the side of making you happy. For all the good it did him.”
Gen let out a shaky sigh. “And I wouldn’t even talk to him.”
“Well, you might want to reconsider that,” Breanna said. “That thing with his ex-girlfriend was bad. But this? This is worse.”
Gen tossed the mangled napkin aside. “But … he gave Bellini that money because he thought I couldn’t handle things on my own. He didn’t respect me.”
Breanna shook her head, frustrated. “God, Genevieve. He’s a man. Do you really think he thought it through that far? He saw something you wanted, and he thought he could get it for you. He was …” She waved her hands around in front of her, groping for a metaphor. “You were a hungry cave woman and he speared a mastodon for you. It’s that simple!”
Gen laughed through a throat thick with emotion. “And I wouldn’t even eat the damned thing.”
Breanna nodded. “Pretty much.”
“Okay.” Gen wiped at her eyes. “Okay. Thank you for telling me.”
“You’re welcome. Now, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not sure.”
Breanna shook her head in a gesture of pity and scorn. “If you let him go over this, it’s going to be a big mistake. He loves you. I mean, he really loves you. And he’s a good man, Genevieve.”
She got up from the table, gathered up her purse, and walked out of the café.
When Breanna was gone, Lacy came over to the table, cautiously, and sat down across from Gen.
“That looked intense,” she said. “Are you okay?”
“I might be an idiot,” Gen said.
“At least you won’t be lonely,” Lacy said, reaching for Gen’s hand and squeezing it in hers. “It’s a big club.”
She didn’t know what to do, and she couldn’t quite get it straight in her head.
Ryan loved her. He did what he did because he wanted to help her. What he’d done had been patronizing and demeaning, no question. But there was every chance Breanna was right—he hadn’t thought of it that way. He hadn’t thought at all. He’d simply seen a chance to get her what he thought she wanted, and he took it.
The background of the thing—that he’d lost a relationship in the past because of a reluctance to come through with money—did change things. He hadn’t wanted to lose Gen the way he’d lost the woman who came before her.
But then he’d lost Gen anyway.