Liars and Losers Like Us

I push the mozzarella and baby tomatoes around my plate, sliding them back and forth through Mom’s homemade balsamic dressing. The Sean story rests on the tip of my tongue. At the last second, I keep it to myself. “Kind of. Maybe. Prom Court nominations were today and everyone was going crazy about it. But Kallie nominated me, so, yeah, that’s that.”

“What? Prom Queen? Oh my God, that’s great! Congratulations honey, this is going to be so much fun.” She does this little squeal thing that instantly has me spearing a tomato and pointing my fork at her.

“Mom. Don’t even. It’s not like that. They’re just nominations, not even the actual court members yet. Every class nominates and then those votes are added up and then there are five girls and five guys to vote for on Prom Night. It’s only a nomination and there’s no way I got votes in other classes too.”

Her smile gets all beamy and she says, “I don’t care what you say, it’s still fun that there’s a chance.”

“A fat snowball’s chance,” I say, popping the tomato into my mouth.

That night in bed, I replay the Sean Mills “maybe a wink maybe a blink” scene over in my head, reminiscing how perfect our names looked together on the whiteboard. Maybe the whole court thing wouldn’t be so awful. Standing up there on stage in front of everyone looking like you matter more than you feel like you do. It feels shallow even thinking this way after I’d gone on a million tangents last night trying to convince Kallie she was making a big mistake.

I tally up any other nominations I could have gotten in the other classes today. I do have other friends, but not like really close friends. I’m not sure I’m important enough for anyone else to have raised their hand for me. In our class, the only people that got nominated were the coolest kids, me because of Kallie, and the joke vote for Maisey. I’m an in-betweener. Not cool enough for the popular girls to ask me to hang out, but not uncool enough to be hanging out with Maisey Morgan and her crew. Well, it’s not so much of a crew as it’s just two other girls she hangs with in the halls between classes and the library after school. Tera Welmore, the girl who wears a uniform to school even though we have no dress code, and Anne Violet, the class brain, who’s GPA is probably a four point ninety trillion. They’re all equal in nerd stature, but somehow, Maisey’s always managed to get the brunt of the teasing. But at least she has friends to hang with.

Now that Kallie is Todd White’s girlfriend, things are different. If she’s not at work, she’s with him at some party everyone’ll be talking about on Monday. She used to invite me, and I went to two or three, but every time I’d end up sitting there, by myself, pretending to drink a warm pissy-tasting beer while waiting for someone to ask me what I was doing at such a cool party. After a couple awkward Friday and Saturday nights, I stopped accepting the invites.

I grab my phone and dial Kallie to confront her about the nomination, since Todd, in one of his signature boy-bander impersonator outfits—blazer, jeans, and sneakers—was waiting for her right after class. As usual, he swooped Kallie up to rush her home so they could “hang out” before her parents got back from work.

“Kallie, do you know how embarrassing that was today? Why the hell would you nominate me?”

“Because, why not?” Kallie asks. “You deserve it just as much as anyone else—don’t be so modest.”

“Modest? Good one. I tried talking you out of it, so why would I want to be on court? Not like I’d get on there anyways. I’m the Libertarian candidate. You wasted your vote.”

“Actually, someone else told me they were nominating you and I thought if I did too, it might better your chances.”

“What do you mean someone else?”

“Hey, wouldn’t it be so awesome if we both get on the court? And even better if Molly Chapman doesn’t?”

“You and I both know there’s no way Molly’s name won’t be on that list. Just because she’s Todd’s ex doesn’t mean that everyone else hates her now.”

“I’m just tired of being nice. Wherever me and Todd go, there she is with her side bitch, Jane. Molly’s the ex-girlfriend that won’t go away. I mean, hello? Are you forgetting about the email she wrote when Todd and I first started dating?”

I laugh. “You stole her boyfriend. You’re lucky it was just an email. Even Jane was more pissed than Molly.”

“First off, I wouldn’t call an email with attached Bible verses, just an email. Second, I didn’t steal him. Todd got bored and started hanging with someone fun. As for Jane Hulmes, barf. She’s Molly’s best friend, so I get it. But she’s a bitch even without a cause. You should’ve seen her at lunch the other day. She cut in front of Maisey Morgan. Then, Maisey’s friend Tera—in her maroon sweater and khakis—was like, ‘Hey, that’s not cool.’ And Jane goes, ‘Who cares, it’s not like Maisey eats anyway.’ ”

“That sounds like Jane. I don’t even know why Molly hangs out with her.”

“When it comes down to it, they’re both bitches. Molly just tries to keep it on the down low. She kept telling Todd she wasn’t having sex until marriage, but you and I both know she gave it up at summer camp two years ago.”

“So everyone says. Who even goes to summer camp anymore?”

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