“You look like shit, you smell like whiskey, and you’re giving off a don’t-fuck-with-me vibe.” Cooper was two years younger than Jackson, with jet-black hair and the recent addition of a beard, which women went crazy for. He shared the same dark blue eyes as the rest of their brothers and the same unwillingness to back off.
“Take the hint.” Jackson reached into the cabinet and took down a plate to join the rest of his family, who were already seated at his mother’s dining room table.
Cooper grabbed his arm. “Dude, did something happen with Erica?”
Jackson wrenched his arm from his brother’s grasp and stalked into the dining room without answering.
“Jackson?” His mother lifted her blind eyes in his direction. “Is that you, honey?” Mary Lou Wild pushed to her feet and opened her arms.
Jackson sank into her embrace, startled by how much he needed it. “Hi, Ma.”
“Sweetie, you sound stressed, and”—she sniffed the air around him—“have you been drinking?”
“I had a few. Sorry, but don’t worry, I took a cab.” He forced a smile and sat down in the empty chair at the end of the table. He slid his eyes around the table. Logan was sitting with one arm around Stormy, a curious look in his eyes. Heath sat in a similar position with his fiancée, Ally, the exact same look in his eyes. He could try to lie his way out of this situation, but they all knew him too well. He was transparent as glass when it came to his family.
“Is everything okay?” his mother asked as she took her seat. “You came back early.”
Jackson let out a frustrated breath and said, “Bryce proposed to Laney.”
Cooper snickered. Logan and Heath exchanged concerned looks, and their mother reached for Jackson’s hand.
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” Sweetie, baby, lovey. Every time she called him one of her many endearments with her concerned voice, it brought his emotions to the surface. Her blue-gray eyes filled with empathy as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“And she’s accepting it?” The surprise in Heath’s eyes did not go unnoticed.
Jackson shrugged. “I assume so. I don’t know.”
“Man, Jackson,” Logan said. “No wonder you look like hell. That’s a hard pill to swallow.”
“Erica’s getting married? I thought you two were a couple,” Ally said. She tucked her dark hair behind her ear and leaned closer to Heath. “I thought you said they’d been seeing each other for years?”
Jackson shot Heath a dark stare, but before he could say anything, his mother said, “Jackson and Erica have been best friends since they were kids.” She squeezed Jackson’s hand again. “Jackson, sweetheart, I assume you’ve talked with Erica? How do you feel about her getting married?”
He slid his hand from her grasp, wishing more than ever that he’d stayed at the bar. “It’s her life. Better him than me, that’s my take on it.” He pushed from the table. “I’m going to grab a glass of water. Anyone need anything?” He didn’t wait for an answer before stalking into the kitchen. He paced the small room, every nerve on fire. Leaning his palm on the sink, he stared out the window into the night, picturing Laney lying on the grass, looking up at the stars. He closed his eyes and envisioned her throwing rocks at his window, as she had so many times.
He pictured her damp, angry eyes when she’d thrown his brothers’ happiness in his face and felt the ice that had run through his veins as he’d forced himself not to respond.
You don’t have to marry me, she’d said. That had been the nail in his coffin. She knew he wasn’t capable of commitment, and she was still willing to give up Mr. Perfect for a chance with him. He couldn’t let her do that.
He felt his mother’s soft hand on his shoulder and bristled.
He turned to face the woman who had caught him making love to Laney and had been more worried about Laney’s well-being than his own. Things are different for guys, sweetheart, his mother had said. Women are tied up in emotions, and guys are tied up in hormones. Don’t hurt her, okay? I can’t stop you from being close to her, but use your heart and your head. Please. For her sake.
For her sake. Everything he did was for Laney’s sake.
“Jackie,” she said softly.
“I’m okay, Ma.”
She took both of his hands in hers, and even though his mother couldn’t see, she looked at him as though she saw every bit of his pain. Jackson knew she was more likely feeling something all around him. He felt as though he were surrounded by heavy, uncomfortable air.
She sighed softly, and her thin lips curved up into the smile she always seemed to have at the ready for her sons. “Lovey, have you told Erica how you feel about her?”
“Mom…” He said it as a warning, not wanting to have this conversation with her or anyone else.
Her eyes hardened before her voice. “Don’t Mom me, Jackson William Wild. I’m not going to sit back and pretend that you aren’t hurting. You might be an adult, but you’re still my son, and I care about you.”
“I’m fine.”
A master at being both drill sergeant and coddler, her gaze went soft again.