It's Only Love

“She’s not my girl.”


Ella wanted to turn and walk away so she wouldn’t have to hear anything else that would further lacerate her already wounded heart. She wanted to leave him there to deal with whatever was going on by himself. But she couldn’t seem to get the message from her brain to her feet, so she stood riveted in place while the giant tried to talk some sense into Gavin.

“Just go with her and make this easy on everyone, will you?”

“What business is it of yours what I do?”

“Making sure everyone who leaves here does so safely is my business. If you don’t want me in your business, get in her car and go. Then we won’t have anything further to talk about.”

“Fine. I’m going.” Gavin stalked over to where Ella stood, arms crossed, watching him swerve as he crossed the parking lot. She pulled out her keys and pushed a button on the key fob to unlock her white Honda CR-V.

Gavin got into the passenger side and slammed the door.

“Thanks so much for your help,” Ella said to the giant.

“No problem. He’s a decent guy who’s heading down a bad road. I hope he can figure out his shit before trouble finds him.”

“I hope so, too.”

“You have a good night now.”

Ella got into her car and nearly dropped her keys in the dark, which was when she realized her hands were shaking.

“You don’t have to do this,” Gavin said. “I can call a cab.”

“I don’t mind.”

Ella started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading for Butler. Gavin never said a word as they got closer to the town line, where she took a left toward his house, rather than a right toward hers in town.

The closer they got to his home on the grounds of the logging company he owned, the harder it became for Ella to refrain from asking him how she ended up in his phone as his ICE. She kept telling herself she was better off not knowing. What good would it do? He’d sent her away twice before, so what would make this time any different? Just give him a ride and leave it at that.

Except . . . How was she supposed to drop him off, go back to her life and forget about the fact that out of all the people he knew, she was the one he wanted called in an emergency? Why her? Did this count as an emergency? Ella knew herself, and she’d never get a minute’s peace if she didn’t ask him why.

She pulled up to his log cabin on the far side of the logging property and turned off the car. Being here reminded her of the time she’d come a couple of months ago, after hearing he’d been arrested in a fight at another bar. He’d sent her away then, and he probably would again.

“Thanks for the ride. Sorry about all this.”

“It’s okay.”

He reached for the door handle. Was he really going to get out and that would be that?

She forced herself to speak before she missed the opportunity. “Gavin?”

“Yeah?

“Why am I in your phone as the one to call in an emergency?”





CHAPTER 2




Hope is being able to see that there is

light despite all of the darkness.

—Desmond Tutu



He stared at her, long enough to be unnerving, before he spoke. “Can you come in for a minute?”

“Oh, well . . .”

“I’m sorry. You were probably doing something and had to leave to come rescue me from myself.”

“I was actually on a date.” He didn’t need to know the date was with a sofa and two guys named Ben and Jerry.

“Oh God, El. I’m so sorry. I hope you’ve met someone really nice who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“Do you? Do you really?”

“Of course I do! You know I care about you, and I want you to be happy.”

“If that’s the case, then . . .” No, I won’t say it. I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing that no other man could ever make me happier than he does, even when he’s pushing me away. Again.

“Then what?”

“Nothing. Never mind.”

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