I drop my hands from her face, and she immediately turns and walks away from me without another word, without ever looking back. I don’t say anything to stop her, I just let her go. And before I allow my aggravation grow any further, I too find my way back to the house and up to the third level where my office is.
Needing to relieve my mind of the stress, I busy myself with work. Between phone calls to the office and checking in on my Chicago property, time passes quickly. Lotus is thriving financially and is proving to be one of the most sought after hotels in the city. Exclusivity is key, and that notion is proving itself.
But I can’t think about Chicago without thinking about my father. I haven’t spoken to him since Elizabeth told me about his arrest. Honestly, I haven’t even delved into his involvement with Richard, Bennett, or even Elizabeth’s father for fear of what it might stir up inside me. Elizabeth would deem me a hypocrite, and she’d be right, which is why I haven’t broached the topic with her yet.
So for that reason alone, I call Elizabeth up to my office, and it takes her only a few minutes to appear in the doorway.
“What’s so urgent?” she asks with a hint of agitation that’s leftover from our earlier quarrel.
“Come in.”
She does, finding a seat in front of my desk. I get up from my chair and walk around to take the seat next to her.
“First, I won’t apologize for earlier, except for one thing—I accused you of being afraid of facing your fears when I’ve been doing the same thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been avoiding my father out of trepidation,” I admit to her. “But I’m putting that aside, hoping you’ll do the same for me.”
Her eyes soften.
“So, can you help me?” I ask and she nods, saying, “Okay.”
“The night I found you, you told me that Richard and my father were working together, using Bennett’s company as a cover for gun trafficking.”
“That’s what Richard told me,” she says.
“You also said that Richard was the one who killed my mum.”
She nods.
With my throat constricting as visions of my mum getting shot in the head flash in my memory, I speak on a strained voice, “I need to know why it happened.”
She holds my hand in hers, taking her time before she says anything. “He told me Cal was embezzling money into an offshore account. Richard said he wanted to teach your dad a lesson that would ensure his loyalty.”
“So my father knew what Richard was going to do?”
With a hard swallow and eyes full of pity, she nods. “He knew. It was why your dad left town. He didn’t want to be there when it happened.”
My breathing falters in unsteady breaths as rage explodes in volcanic measures inside my chest. Every muscle in my body indurates in tension, and I let go of Elizabeth’s hand for fear I’ll crack her delicate bones. I pop out of my chair and it topples over.
“That bastard has spent every day since her death blaming me,” I fume. The blades of each word slicing my tongue, filling me with the blood of putrid hate. “He made me believe it was my fault!”
“No matter how it happened, Declan, it wouldn’t have been your fault.”
I walk over to the window’s edge, grip my hands on the sill, and drop my head as I hunch over. It’s a battlefield of emotions, to which there is no victor. Outrage and fury fight alongside sadness and longing. I’ve mourned my mother the way no man should ever have to, but I did. I’ve allowed the pain to dwell in my heart, embittering it and giving it the power to grow into the man I am today. A man who can’t relinquish an ounce of control without being consumed with unsettling fear. God only knows who I’d be if it weren’t for this manifestation.
I flinch when I feel Elizabeth’s hand on my back. When I turn to look at her, her cheeks are tear-stained, and I wipe them away with my thumbs, asking, “Why are you crying?”
“Because . . . it hurts me to see you in pain.”
“I need you to see it though,” my voice breaks.
She then reaches her hands up to my face, pulls me to her, and kisses me. She swallows up my ragged breaths, pushing her body against mine, and I instantly grow hard. It’s a storm of emotions that begs to be released.
With a growl, I pick her up, and she gasps when I drop her to the couch. She watches intently, trembling as I unbuckle my belt.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t tell me no, Elizabeth,” I command.
She jolts up, lurching off the couch in a panic. “I can’t.”
There’s fear in her eyes as she backs away from me, heading towards the door, as if I’m some monster from her nightmares.
“Bullshit! You can, you just don’t want to.”
She continues to retreat, refusing to connect with me and it’s the last fucking stab to my heart I can take! I fucking love her, but she’s built this wall around herself to keep me away. It pisses the raging shit out of me, and I explode in a thunderous roar when I watch her leave the room, rejecting me.
“Just give me one motherfucking piece of you!” my scathing voice ruptures, reverberating off the walls.