The others knew that there was something between him and Hailey. Hell, the guys and Maya razzed him about it more often than not. It wasn’t that Sloane was never going to make a move; it was that he wanted to make sure it was the right time for that move.
He blinked. Well, hell, that idea was new. Apparently, he would be making a move. He was barely in the right headspace most days, let alone in the right place for him to be with Hailey. He’d moved slow, wanting to ensure that he didn’t spook her, didn’t fuck himself over. Because when he did move—if that happened at all—there would be no turning back. He wanted to be her everything, much like she already was for him. She’d be his in body and truth, and he’d make sure he gave her what he could. There was no partway when it came to the ownership of his heart, his soul. But some darkness would have to remain his and his alone.
And until he could know for sure that the darkness within him wouldn’t touch Hailey, he had to hold himself back. He’d known he was playing with fire by waiting, by watching for years and never doing more. But she’d held back, too. She’d known it wasn’t the right time yet.
Or maybe he was wrong? Maybe he’d screwed up and now he was about to lose it all. Lose it to someone closer to her age, someone who made her laugh and her eyes sparkle.
Sloane wanted to be the man that made her throw her head back and laugh like that. He wanted to be all of those things and more. But he couldn’t. Not yet. It wasn’t the time, and now it might not ever be the time.
Jesus, his head hurt from going back and forth. He wanted her, he ached for her, but he wasn’t good enough for her. He’d never be pure for her. But at some point he may have to let that go. Realize that while he wasn’t light—instead, darkness—he was still hers. And that would have to be sufficient.
Sloane might not be good enough for Hailey, but damn it, nobody was. This Brody, with his too-gelled hair, wasn’t even close to being what she needed.
“Are we taking a break?” Brody asked as he looked over his shoulder. “Everything looking good back there?”
Maya cleared her throat, and Sloane forced his attention away from Brody and toward the other tattoo station. His other boss and friend pressed her lips together, surprising him. He’d have thought Maya would have a sarcastic quip or something to say about what the hell had just happened. Even Callie stood by Maya’s side, wide-eyed and a little surprised. He didn’t blame the younger woman. For as long as he’d known her, she’d been trying to figure out why he wasn’t with Hailey.
How was he supposed to tell them he wasn’t worthy of the blonde bombshell with secrets of her own? That if he was with her, he’d taint the beauty of her soul, the exquisiteness of her smile. That’s what he did. He brought in the shadows, carved deep inside, and rotted the core of someone because of what he’d done, what he’d seen.
But he was a selfish bastard. He knew that. Sloane knew it might be time for him to stand up and actually do something about what he’d been hiding from for years. To do that, however, he needed to make sure this kid knew his place.
“Shit,” Brody mumbled under his breath. “I stepped in it, didn’t I?” The younger man turned slightly in his chair and grimaced. “I didn’t know she was yours, bro. I just saw a pretty girl with no ring on her finger and thought she was fair game. I’m sorry. I didn’t know she was taken.”
Sloane let out a breath, his rage over this kid backing down slightly, though the swirl of self-pity was well on the rise. Lovely.
“She’s not…”
Brody shook his head. “Yeah, she is. I saw the way you looked at her, and I know you’re about this close to knocking my head right off my shoulders. So you might not be dating her officially, but I stepped in it. I’ll go in there and then back off. I’d just leave, but that wouldn’t be right, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. You know?” He shrugged. “If you don’t want to finish my ink, I get it.”
Sloane was aware that the others were staring at him, waiting for him to confirm or deny his so-called relationship with Hailey. They were waiting for him to say something. Anything.
“I’m not going to fuck up your ink, kid.”
Brody raised a brow. “I know I’m taking my life in my hands, but I’m not that much younger than you. No need to call me kid.”
Maya muttered something under her breath about insolent fools while Austin groaned.
“You’re asking for me to punch you in the face, aren’t you?” Sloane growled out, his voice low and deep. Though in reality, his voice was always low and deep.
“Not really. I just figured if you’re calling me kid and Hailey looked to be about the same age as me, then maybe you’re calling her kid, as well.”
“Jesus Christ,” Austin growled. The man also coughed out what suspiciously sounded like a chuckle.