Even though I hated it, I knew why he never thought of me as anything but Marcus’s little sister. I looked like Marcus’s little sister. But for my sixteenth birthday in May, someone must have mail ordered me boobs. I went from an A cup to a C overnight, and by August, though my size five jeans still fit, they were very snug through the hips and thighs.
The night before he and Marcus left for college, Nate finally noticed me, and though I’d never been with anyone else, I let him notice all of me. I don’t regret it. If I was going to cash in my V-card, he seemed like a better choice than any of the other guys I knew from school. I trusted him, so I wasn’t scared. He knew it was my first time and he went slow. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t awful either. It felt really good to be the sole focus of his attention for that half hour. The fact that he didn’t call before he left for school didn’t surprise me. I never really expected anything more from him.
But I’m pretty sure Marcus doesn’t know. Things wouldn’t be this easy between them now if he knew his best friend had stolen his little sister’s virtue five months ago.
Nate’s charcoal eyes flash and instantly I know where his mind is. The same place as mine. But I also know he won’t give us away by saying anything inappropriate in front of Marcus.
He walks over to me and holds out his arms. “Give papa some sugar.”
Okay…except that. But he’s always said that, even before he fucked me.
I step into his arms and his hug is a little tighter and a lot longer than usual. “Missed you, baby girl.”
“How’s Nevada?” I ask when he lets me go.
“Cold as a witch’s tit.” His eyes are still alight and they warm me from the inside out. “Marcus says you applied to Stanford. That’s like…” He trails off and makes the “mind blown” gesture with his hands next to his ears. “You have any fucking clue how hot a girl with brains is?”
Marcus punches his arm and throws him a dirty look. “Stop fucking hitting on my little sister, dude!”
Nate’s eyebrows go up and he fists his hand into his longish dark hair. “Have you seen your little sister? She’s hot.”
Okay…so maybe I was giving Nate too much credit.
“You lay a finger on her and I break it off and shove it up your ass,” Marcus threatens.
I take that as my cue. “I’m gonna hit the sack,” I say, gesturing toward my door with a wave of my hand. “But it was great to see you, Nate.”
He pulls me into another hug. “Yeah, baby girl. You too. I been missing on you.”
I slip through the door just as Marcus takes Nate to the floor. I hear them bash against walls as they migrate farther down the hall to Marcus’s room, and then they’re pounding against his furniture and the wall between our rooms.
I catch myself smiling as I climb under the covers. He missed me. I don’t want to read anything into that, but I can’t help wondering if I left a bigger impression on him than I thought. I drift off to the familiar sounds of the two boys I grew up with and realize just as I slip into sleep how much I miss them when they’re gone. The house is lonelier without them.
∞
Rain has started during the night. I wake to the soft beating of fat drops on the roof and window. I also wake to warm breath in my face and a hot, thick body in the bed next to me.
“Hey, baby girl,” Nate breathes, his wet lips caressing my cheek as they move.
My heart starts to race as I roll to face him. “Hey. I’m guessing Marcus doesn’t know you’re here.”
He shakes his head, the tip of his nose rubbing against mine. “Had to wait till he passed out.”
I reach for his face and brush my fingers down his cheek. There’s stubble that feels like silk when I brush down, and needles when I brush up. He’s grown up this year too.
His lips seal over mine and I kiss him back. He tastes a little like sour beer, but I don’t let that stop me. I’ve always loved Nate, and though most of that time it’s been more of a brotherly sort of love, I really like the feeling of his body in this bed with me. I really like the feeling of his mouth, growing hungrier on mine.
I open my mouth for him and his tongue invades me, wrestling with mine the way he wrestled with my brother earlier, putting every ounce of himself into it.
I reach for his boxers and push them lower, then I nurture his hard-on, feel it grow with the love I’m giving him with my mouth and hands and body.
He lifts my T-shirt and tugs my panties down, and I kick them off. His fingers slip inside me and he moans a little in my ear, then kisses me harder as he fingers me.
I rock my hips with the motion of his hand and stroke his dick. I feel it swell tighter as he takes his mouth off mine and sucks in a breath.
“Do you have a condom?” I ask, because I might want sex with Nate, but I’m not so crazed that I don’t remember the logistics of the birds and the bees.
He rolls to the side and feels for something on the floor, then lays me on my back and kneels between my legs. I hear the tear of paper. The muscles in my groin contract as I wait for him to fix it in place, knowing what comes next.