I wanted more.
What had happened to my happy life with my beautiful, dependable man? What had I done? How do you reverse something like that when I had already set the wheels of change in motion? The stable life I had wanted had become the boring life I despised. I fell out of love with my life and Liam, and fallen in love with the idea of being carefree and desired. I wanted to live while I was still young enough to live.
And here I am, just twelve months later, on a plane to London.
This could very well be the stupidest thing I have ever done and I’m using all my savings on a hunch. A hunch that I hope I don’t live to regret. I have an internship with Chesters, the same company Mark works for. I’m going to work alongside him, and although we have never openly said that anything will happen between us, I know we are both secretly hoping it will.
Brielle, my travelling partner, is a different kettle of fish. She’s totally in love with an adultering prick who she recently caught out again with a girl we both know. In my heart of hearts, I know that if we stay in the same old town she is going to go back to him and I am going to go back to Liam for no other reason than him being a comfortable habit.
When Liam and I finally broke up, I think he was as relieved as I was.
He knew things hadn’t been right between us. We had become best friends. The fire had gone out between us a long time ago. It was him who encouraged me to apply for the position in London, actually, and when I finally mustered up the courage, I made Brielle apply for a nanny position in the same city. My lifelong best friend and I would lie on the beach dreaming of what we were going to do in London and all the fun we were going to have. It was the distant comfort of that dream that got us through the doom and gloom and forced us to face the hard decisions that had to be made.
Fate stepped in and we were both successful with the jobs we applied for. It was as if the universe was approving of our escape plan.
Now we are on flight bound for London.
Both of us tired, nervous, excited, and absolutely terrified.
Brielle is going to a live in nanny position with a female Supreme Court Judge who is a widow with two small children. I am working in an art gallery with a man I have been secretly lusting over for twelve months. This could be heaven or it could be hell, and right now, I would love to run home with my tail between my legs.
I have no idea what we are doing.
* * *
I drift somewhere between sleep and consciousness as the sound of the airplane engine drowns out all of my thoughts. It’s comforting really. I haven’t been sleeping well. To be completely honest I haven’t been doing anything well. My judgment seems clouded and I have been forgetting everything. I feel foggy but I think that’s just nerves.
Brielle is in conversation with two guys across the aisle from us.
“This is Emerson,” she introduces me.
I pull my hands through my hair self consciously. I must look like hell having literally just woke up. “H-hello,” I stammer.
The two guys smile broadly and lean over to shake my hand. “I’m Jonah and this is Rick.” The blonde guy smiles. Rick is blonde and nice looking, and Jonah is a stunner. With dark skin and black hair, he looks more like a model than a backpacker. Brielle’s mischievous eyes meet mine and I smirk. She just silently called shotgun on Jonah. Hmm. I raise a brow in question and shake my head subtly.
“Where are you guys going?” I ask.
“We start a Contiki tour around Europe in ten days.”
“Oh.” I smile. “That’s exciting.”
They both nod and smile broadly. “We are staying in London for the next week or so.”
“Oh, we are, too.” Brielle smiles.
The boy’s eyes light up in excitement. “We should go out at the weekend,” Jonah suggests.
“Yes,” Brielle replies. “We should.”
The stewardess walks up the aisle with the lunch tray and interrupts our conversation.
I shuffle around, searching in my bag before I retrieve my book and put my head onto my headrest, Brielle grabs my hand. “I’m excited.”
“I wish I was more excited. I’m nervous than anything.” I sigh.
Her face drops. “Why?” She frowns.
I shrug. “If I was staying with you I would be happier. I’m living with two strangers, I have no idea what the apartment is going to look like, and I am starting a new high pressure job with a guy I have been crushing on for over a year.” I widen my eyes. “Kind of overwhelmed at the moment.”
She smirks. “When you put it like that...”
I open my book just to stop thinking about everything. I feel my anxiety rise.
“Once you have met everyone…” She tries to reassure me.
I nod. “I know.” I smile. “It will be fine. Once I get my head around everything, it will be good.”
“And what about Mark?” she asks with a raised brow.