“There are a lot of people here tonight.”
“There are.” He gives a measured nod, and I can tell he’s trying to figure out where I’m going with this when I don’t even know where I’m going. “What’s going on, Harlow?” He turns and rests his hip against the table behind him, crossing his arms over his chest.
“When the bet, contest, whatever you call it is over, what are you going to do with SoulM8?”
I can tell by the way he startles that my question catches him off guard, but his answer is calm as can be. “No clue.”
“What?” I laugh but it sounds forced and disbelieving, like how I feel.
“It’s a business. If it performs, I keep it. If it doesn’t meet its potential, then I sell it off and find something else.”
“Just like that.”
“Yes, just like that.”
“But what about all of this?” I throw my hands out. “All the hard work you did to get SoulM8 where it is and all of the time and effort we’re putting in now to make it take off with a bang? Are you just going to throw it all away?”
“Sometimes businesses fail for no fault of your own or lack of effort. You can’t dwell on it. You just have to dust your hands off and move on to the next opportunity.”
Is that what you’re going to do with me? I wonder.
I’m sure my eyes ask the question but my lips stay in a thin, unmoving line as the single thought takes over my mind.
“But—”
“But what? That’s what you do when you run a business. The decisions aren’t always easy and sometimes they fucking suck but you can’t always throw good money after bad. Sometimes you cut your losses. Sometimes you take risks. And every once in awhile, they all pay off and you have success.”
Our eyes hold across the space and his expression tells me he’s trying to understand what’s wrong when I don’t even know anything other than I’m scared to death for this whole thing to end. That and I’m sick and tired of pretending that we’re a couple when I want to actually be one.
My mouth opens then shuts.
My chest constricts and my throat burns.
“What’s going on here, Har? What am I missing?” He asks as he takes a few steps toward me and sits on the arm of the sofa where I’m sitting.
“This whole thing—us out there being all lovey dovey and perfect so people aspire to be like us—it’s getting hard for me to do.”
“Good thing we’re almost done then. Five hours and counting, aye?”
I take a deep breath, ignoring the knife in my heart. “It’s just that—”
“Now is not the time to grow a conscience.”
“Screw you, Zane. I just sat with a woman named Molly who just told me all she wanted was to find love. I had to look her in the eye and lie as she told me she wished she could find one like ours. You tell me that’s not deceitful.”
“Look, we’re both tired. It’s been a long haul on the road and we’re both done with it. All we need is to see this out and then we can then slip quietly under the radar as we start posting more and more success stories on the site. We’ll use those for promotion and there won’t be any need for us to pretend anymore. Then you’ll feel better about it all.”
“Have you ever had your heart broken before?” My question comes out of left field, but I just keep thinking of all of these people who are believing our lie and are willing to pay money to try and attain it.
Zane doesn’t answer the question, instead he lifts his drink to his lips and keeps his eyes on mine over the rim of the glass.
“It’s always a game to you isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“It’s always someone else’s heart on the line, someone else’s heart you want to toy with so long as she gets your dick wet when you want it to be wet.” The words are out and I’m on my feet as fury continues to build inside of me.
“Watch your step, Harlow.”
“Why? What are you going to do? Fire me? Not sleep with me anymore? Tell Robert the truth so he knows you really don’t care? That his investment in memory of his wife was just wasted on some guy who doesn’t believe in what he’s selling?” I pace from one end of the room to the other as the tension builds in this small space.
“I’m not the only businessman who doesn’t believe in what he sells and whether I do or not, frankly, it’s none of your goddamn business,” he growls.
“No? I know I’m looking at a man who tells me he has no problem taking risks and claiming losses professionally but he can’t fathom doing it personally.”
“What the hell are you talking about? You’re all over the goddamn place and I can’t follow where you’re going next, so how about you spell it out for me because I’m fucking lost.”
“How about this? I’ve fallen for you, Zane. Yep, just one more stupid, gullible woman for you to con with your perfectly targeted advertising campaign and spouted statistics. I didn’t pay a subscription fee though so I’m sorry you didn’t profit from my desperation.”