To begin.
While I stared at the gray granite tombstone, etched with the last name...
Jameson.
My eyes fluttered open just slightly, only to be met with nothing but darkness. A thick piece of fabric obstructing my view. I tried to get my arms to move, to take off the offending object, but it was no use. I was too weak. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t get the words to come out. My lips were too dry, my throat was raw and burning, making it hard to swallow, let alone speak. I tried to process what was going on, what had happened, how long I had been out, but I couldn’t push through the haze. I was so tired, so dizzy, so out of it that panic couldn’t even set in.
My head pounded heavily as if it weighed a thousand pounds. Sensing as though it was lying on someone’s lap, the rough material of my abductors pants, scraped against my cheek. All I could hear was the rumbling of a loud engine while a cool breeze swept across my face, neck, and hair. My body was warm which made me think a blanket was wrapped around me, but I was numb. All I could feel was the vibration from the uneven ground we must have been driving on.
The vehicle felt like it never stopped climbing and turning. Right, left then right again, over and over, throwing me off course. There was no way I could keep up with the twists and turns. My sense of direction was long gone. Nothing seemed familiar, not the sounds and not the scents. I was too drowsy to function. My body continued to be jostled from the fast movements. The roads were coarse and jagged, making the ride extremely uncomfortable and unpleasant. The sound of the wind whistled in my ears as we whipped through what I thought might have been a forest because tree branches snapped under the weight of the tires. I could occasionally hear branches scraping against the roof of the car.
They were driving so fast, as if they were getting away from someone. I couldn’t fathom why I was there, what my role was in all of this and before I could give it another thought, I blacked out again.
My head fell back against the headrest in my Jeep, staring at the house out in front of me.
Creed and Noah’s house.
The irony was not lost on me. Although, I couldn’t possibly complain, it wouldn’t be fair to Noah if I did. He had stepped up in every way possible when it came to the baby girl that grew inside of me. In the process of it all, I don’t know how it happened, but we started to become close friends. I couldn't help it. I had spent more time with Noah than I ever had with Creed, in the past seven years. Ever since I first laid eyes on his tortured soul, it had always been a game of push and pull. Even just thinking about him made me smile. I sat there contemplating, trying to convince myself to walk into his childhood home for the very first time.
Except it wouldn’t be his warm welcoming arms that wrapped around me, engulfing me with his comforting musky scent that I loved more than anything.
It would be his brother’s.
My baby’s father.
The man that shouldn’t be looking at me like I was the one he’d been waiting for all his life. I’d often catch glimpses of Noah staring at me adoringly during our many doctor visits. He didn’t even try to hide it. Noah wanted our unborn child. He wanted to be a part of this journey. He wanted it all.
A future.
A life.
A forever...
Possibly with me.
If I knew the truth, there was no way in hell Creed didn’t. The thought alone sent shivers down my spine, making the ends of my hair stand straight up. Feeling the consequences of what hadn’t happened yet, but would eventually come.
The inevitable.
A battle.
For my heart.
I learned pretty quickly that Noah was just as lost as his brother, if not more. His eyes held the same sadness that Creed’s carried all his life. A burden I could never understand or contemplate. I didn’t know anything about the Vice Prez of Devil's Rejects, other than what his eyes always showed me. What his sullen presence provided me, or what his strong, callused hands and fervent, burning lips promised me.
His love.
Noah was a lot like his older brother, but at the same time, they couldn’t have been more different. Like night and day, and oil and water. The more time I spent with Noah, the easier it was for me to see a side of him that I wished Creed would show me after all these years.
His heart.
Creed was still guarded, broody, and temperamental, and those were some of his best qualities. All I could hope for was that eventually he would open up, show me the man I knew was behind his cut all along. The man who I’d loved since I was nine years old.
I shook off the sentiment, taking in a deep breath, closing my eyes, and placing my hand on my swollen belly. Imagining a breathtakingly beautiful baby with bright blue eyes and dark brown hair, smiling back up at me. An expression on her face that looked exactly like her father’s. A smile I couldn't help but love. Much like Creed’s.
“Jesus, Mia, get your shit together,” I whispered to myself, wishing more than anything it was Creed’s baby girl I was carrying.
I sighed, chastising myself. Creed’s priority was the MC, which I’d known since day one. It was more so now than ever before, or so I thought. He was traveling all over the place, day in and day out. I barely kept up with where he was, or what he was getting involved in. All I knew was he had to go whether he liked it or not. Everything changed so quickly and so suddenly.
I never stopped thinking about him.
I never stopped praying that he stayed safe.
I never stopped...
Loving him.
I couldn’t. He was a part of me in more ways than one. He always had been. Yet to this day, I didn’t know why. It was one of those unexplainable things, a powerful magnetic pull that only he held over me.
And he knew it.
Using it to push me away every chance he got.
I took one last deep breath to steady my nerves, opened the Jeep’s door, and hopped out, straightening my dress before I made my way to their front porch.
The sonogram picture of our baby girl held tightly in my grasp. Noah wanted a girl and had been beyond excited since they told us that afternoon. He wanted to tell the world or at least his mom. He’d been inviting me over to his house for the last several months, but I kept making excuses as to why I couldn’t come. I guess now was as good of a time as any to finally meet her. Secretly wishing Creed had been the one to invite me to meet his mother and not his brother.