Emilio smiled, pushing off his limo. “It gets easier, just ask your father, but unlike him, you don’t pick up strays,” he chuckled, walking over to me, and I resisted the urge to ask him what he meant.
“I knew it wouldn’t take long until you saw things my way. You’re a true Cuban. A goddamn soldier, and I’m fucking proud to have you stand by me.” Throwing his arm over my shoulder, he tugged me into his side. “This is only the beginning. Tonight was nothing compared to what I have in store for you. You will accomplish big things with my guidance. Before you know it, you’ll be just like me. Everything you wanted, trained for, came true tonight, Damien,” he affirmed, nodding to his men. “Now, let’s get the fuck out of here and let these traitors rot in Hell, where they belong.”
I stepped into the vehicle, taking a seat in the same spot I had when we arrived. Sinking into the black leather and leaning my head back against the headrest. I caught a glimpse of my face amongst the flames, reflecting off the tinted glass. No longer recognizing the man staring back at me, as I watched the house burn to the ground.
“How did it feel to have your first taste of pussy? Her virgin blood on your cock? She loved it. Don’t let her fool you, I know you heard the puta’s moans. A little advice for next time, it feels much better when you actually come,” Salazar mocked, making everyone laugh right along with him. Except my father, he was lost in his thoughts. Staring out the tinted window.
I scoffed, “I guess unlike all the men in this limo, I can fuck for longer than five minutes.”
They all laughed harder, throwing their heads back. Salazar handed me a bottle of bourbon and I greedily took it down, inhaling the burn of the fiery liquid with fucking pleasure. I wanted to forget. I wanted to pretend like tonight never happened.
Knowing it was far from fucking over.
I didn’t know how much time went by before the limo came to a halt outside of my house. “Get some sleep. Got an early morning tomorrow. Be at my house by seven,” Emilio instructed, breaking me from my trance-like state of emptiness.
I gave him a curt nod and stepped out, quickly realizing I was the only one to exit the vehicle as it drove away. I shook my head, unfazed. It wasn’t unusual for my father to stay by Salazar’s side, leaving me to fend for myself. Except this time, it had nothing to do with his duties and loyalty to our leader. He was purposely avoiding me.
Ashamed. Fully aware of the fucking monster in the making.
Me.
I shook off the thoughts, making my way inside. Setting what I had on the counter, I went straight into the shower, fatigues and all. Trying to rinse away the night’s memories that would forever be a part of me. Letting the hot water burn into my skin, needing to feel something, anything, again. Watching all the blood from the lives I had taken swirl around the drain.
Out of sight, but it would never be out of mind.
After the water turned cold, I got out. Going about my business before jumping into my car and driving off into the night. It didn’t take long until I reached my first destination, rushing up the front steps and knocking on the door. She answered immediately, looking confused.
“I need your help,” I simply stated, handing over what I was carrying.
She didn’t ask any questions, giving it back to me once she was done. I kissed her cheek and just as fast as I had arrived, I was gone.
The streets were dark and empty, and I welcomed the solitude. The storm in my mind had come and gone, but the wind remained as I drove down memory lane. I parked my car on the gravel path just after one in the morning. Turning off the engine, but leaving the headlights on to see through all the haze and dust falling from the night’s sky.
I took a deep breath to steady my nerves before exiting my car. Making sure to grab what was sitting in my passenger seat, I tucked it in the back of my jeans, right beside my gun. The stench, lingering in the air immediately assaulted my senses, but I didn’t pay it any mind. Too focused on the responsibility I still had. One foot in front of the other, I was pulled to my purpose. Hearing nothing but the charred debris beneath my boots and the wind whistling in the trees. Faint sounds of what was to come.
I never believed in having a bond with someone, never thought about fate or destiny or any of that bullshit. Never considered being tied to a soul through a connection that didn’t make any sense. Though the second I stepped into that barn, I knew exactly where she’d be hiding.
As if her heart was now linked to mine.
I turned on the soft lighting, illuminating the open space of the decrepit structure. Stepping further into the barn to take a quick look around. It was fairly empty except for some old farming tools on the furthest wall and barrels of hay scattered throughout the area.
The ladder to the hay loft was lying partially broken on the ground. Like it had been kicked off the ledge it was once secured to, above my head. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I set the intact part of the splintered wood against the nearest support beam, in the corner. Taking two steps at a time, I hoisted my six-foot-four frame up, clearing the missing space to climb up to the loft to get her.
An immediate sense of pride washed over me as I made my way up there. Another feeling that made no fucking sense to me. I had no idea who she was, but I already had an emotional attachment to her. Proud as fuck she was smart enough to try to derail anyone from coming to hurt her again. I moved a few barrels of hay out of the way, pushing them over the edge of the loft to clear the small space.
What I saw next hurt me in ways I didn’t think were possible. Not after what I’d witnessed and participated in that night. She was sitting in the back corner with her knees pressed against her chest. Both arms tightly wrapped around her legs, caging in a few baby chicks on her lap. Holding a hammer in her grasp so fucking tight that her knuckles had turned white.
“Jesus Christ,” I breathed out, taking in her father’s dried-up blood all over her face and body. The way she wasn’t moving, just sitting there like a scared little mouse. She hadn’t peered at me once, staring blankly out in front of her.
Lost.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I didn’t know where to start. There was so much to fucking say, so many explanations and apologies to be made, but not nearly enough time for me to amend them. I was frozen in front of her, picturing the life she would never have. The years of memories that would forever haunt her. Any mistakes or regrets she may be feeling. It all came rushing over me, piling on top of my conscience. The weight suffocating me like I was being buried alive. The rage and adrenaline was still pumping through my veins, searing to the point of pain.
Hating myself even more for what I had done.
“Amira…” I coaxed, surrendering my hands out in front of me as I crouched down to her level. Needing her to understand I wasn’t going to hurt her any more than I already had.