There doesn't seem to be any way I could trust him after he manipulated me into being his bait. However, he never turned me in, even though he had plenty of opportunities to do so. I would have chosen my life over his and probably turned him in, which makes him a better person than me.
There were feelings involved, but they were based on his lies.
"I don't know how to see you now," I tell him. "I don’t know you, Axel.”
"This is me," he says. "Stripped down to the bone with nothing."
"I don’t think I can—”
"Isabelle. I knew you before you became this woman. I was innocent before I became this man. Please, let me show you.”
"Axel—” I don’t know how to walk forward with him and feel like it’s a good decision.
"I can’t fake this,” he says, pulling me into him. His hands cradle my face, and the comfort is still there. It shouldn’t be there. I should be uncomfortable. I shouldn’t feel anything.
"Yes, you can fake this,” my voice cracks.
His lips touch mine lightly as he presses his nose against mine. "Not when I’m in this much pain. I was lied to, too. I know what you’re feeling and thinking; I deserve to be dead like Everett after what I did to you, but selfishly, I’d rather spend every minute necessary proving to you who I truly am inside.” His lips return to mine, and I feel a weakness seep throughout my limbs. I should be smarter than this. I don’t understand how I can feel so much for him, yet fear what’s in his head at the same time.
"I don’t know what to think,” I whisper. It’s honest.
"Isabelle, every time I touched you, it was because I couldn’t stop myself. I know I shouldn’t have looked at you the way I did, kissed you, or anything of that nature. I was fighting hard against breaking every rule, knowing how it could end, but you made me forget what I was fighting for.” His hands cup my cheeks as he gazes into my eyes with desire.
"I don't trust you, Axel,” I mutter.
"I don't blame you, but here,” he says, handing me the SD card. "Maybe this will help.” I look down at the card and close my fingers over it.
"Thank you,” I tell him, softly, "but I never trusted you, even before Everett took the card.”
"Maybe that’s what attracted me to you,” he says.
"Obviously, I have an attraction to trouble, so it would make sense, I guess.”
"So, what’s the problem?” he asks, gently.
"We're poisonous to each other,” I tell him, knowing both of us were bred to pluck thoughts from the human brain without leaving a trace of existence behind. As Everett said, we were manipulated to basically kill each other, but we came out on the other side still standing. I can’t help but think about how dangerous that makes us.
"We may be poisonous to each other because we can get inside of each other’s heads, but doesn’t that benefit eliminate the need for trust?” he asks. Axel has cornered me with my own fears and thoughts, and he's right.
"I’m leaving the country, Axel.”
"I want to go with you,” he says, pleadingly.
"Where I’m going—there are rules that must be followed," I tell him. "You’ll also need a good fake ID.”
"I have plenty of ID’s. Don’t worry about that,” he says with a wink. "Seriously though, if you let me go with you, I’ll follow your rules, Isabelle. It’s the least I can do."
I press my hand against his chest, making sure he understands I’m not just running away to hide again. "They aren't my rules that have to be followed.”
Seventeen Years Ago
Like so many nights, Dad comes into my bedroom and sits down on the edge of my bed as he tucks me in tightly. "I love you, sweetie, and in case I don’t see you tomorrow, remind me of what you can never forget.”
"Kulao,” I tell him, as I have since I was old enough to understand the meaning.
"Very good, Isabelle.” He leans forward and gives me a gentle kiss on my forehead.
I try to smile, but it hurts my heart when he reminds me of the same thing every night. "Why do you always have to say goodnight as if you’re leaving for forever, Dad? Nothing has changed, and everything seems like it’s okay and always will be.”
"Sweetie, you never know what tomorrow might bring, right?” he reminds me.
I know what he means, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around the thought. "I know. People might find out you’re hiding Mom. It’s just been so long. I doubt anyone is looking.”
"We do what we must to protect the people we love, Isabelle. Your mother rescued me, and for that, I will forever protect her, and you, as well.”
I pull the covers up a little higher. "What if I disappear someday?” I ask him.
He narrows his eyes at me and smirks. "My Isabelle—you are such an adventurous little girl with the world at your toes—I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if you followed your heart too far someday, but—” he pokes my nose, "I would prefer it if I don’t have to worry about you disappearing from my life too.”
"I won’t disappear, Dad. We’re all each other has—you, me, and mom. We have to stick together.”
Dad smiles weakly as if he has secrets I still don’t know—ones I’ll probably never know. "Right, but you know if that ever happens, and one of us goes missing—”
"Kulao,” I tell him again.
"Kulao will make it so we’ll never have to worry about losing each other, Isabelle.”
His words and explanations give me the reassurance I need to fall asleep. Mom and Dad have always been honest about our situation—their secret. I suppose everyone has secrets that can cause trouble, so a backup plan is always necessary—or so Dad tells me.
30
Axel
"Thanks for paying the way here," I tell Isabelle with a side-long glance. "I didn't realize your idea of running was to an island three days away."
"Any time. Maybe next time you take in a ‘criminal’ who's on the run, you should learn to hide your wallet better when you're sleeping with the bait."
I knew she took the cash from my wallet. I let her take it, hoping she’d find a way out. It was becoming clear that there wouldn't be a good ending to either of our stories and if money got her a little farther than it got me, I wanted her to have it. It was all dirty money, anyway. "I guess you have a thing or two to teach me then," I tell her.
"I guess so," she says, walking toward the entrance of whatever hotel this is.
"Your rule one—no stealing—needs to apply to you too," I tell her. "Oh, and you'll need to share the rest of these rules with me while you're controlling your klepto ways."
"I wasn't planning on stealing anything else from you," she says with a smirk. Before walking through the front door to the hotel we were dropped off at, Isabelle turns around and presses her hand against my chest. "Kulao—this island we're on—it’s not a vacation spot. We're officially off the grid. This place is for people who have run away from something. No one is who you think they are, though I suspect we have a better chance of figuring them out than they have at figuring us out."
Throughout our four flights, two ferry rides, and a prop plane island hopper, not once was the name of the island mentioned. I thought it would be harder to let go of the control I've maintained for most of my adult life, but I decided not to ask her questions. I followed instead of leading the way. She evidently had this little backup plan because she knew exactly where she was going. Giving up control, even after just a few days, has felt like the world has been lifted from my shoulders.
"How long have you known about this place?" I ask her. "I had no clue a location like this existed."
Her lips turn into a sinuous grin. "Somewhere between a short while and a long while," she responds with a sigh.
She opens the glass doors to the hotel's entrance, and I follow her inside, then up to the front desk where an older woman cloaked in Polynesian attire waits for us. "Welcome," she says with a raised brow as she examines both of us with curiosity.
"Checking in. Not checking out," Isabelle says, handing over her ID, cash, and my credit cards. "You need to empty your pockets." Isabelle puts her hand out in front of me, waiting for my wallet.