The quiet left behind brought reality to my mind and the sting of pity burned the back of my eyes. Staring at the carpet, silent tears fell down my face, and my heart, hidden under the skin and bone of my broken body, splintered into tiny, unforgiving pieces. Pain ruptured every part of me, the invisible agony devastating my soul into surrender.
He wouldn’t ever leave me in peace. To him, I was his enemy. The one who had taken from him. I had taken his trust, I had taken his hope, and I had taken the love of his father. He was wrong, of course. But I knew he wouldn’t ever see it any other way. His own father had thrown him away like rotting garbage, but had held onto me like a prized possession. Anderson wouldn’t ever see the sin and sickness that bound me to his father. He would only ever hear a story that was narrated with lies and false words, the revolting truths never murmured in his ear, or his heart.
“Come on, little wolf!”
His stupid pet name had me clenching my teeth, another growl vibrating in my chest.
Giving in, I slowly made my way down to him. He was in the lounge and he turned to me when I entered. “Sit.”
“You’re not my master, Anderson. Stop ordering me around.”
Rolling his eyes, he huffed. “Please take a seat, Kloe.”
Waiting a moment just to make my point, I finally lowered into the chair opposite him. A coffee table sat between us and I glanced down. Fire caught my breath and singed my lungs.
“It’s time for you to understand.”
Photos and documents littered the black glass table, papers and different objects scattered in any order across the four-foot expanse. A box sat tossed aside, the lid thrown on the floor. A bottle of whisky, half empty, and two crystal glasses finished the ensemble.
“Understand?” I whispered, unable to raise my voice any higher.
His eyes blazed with green fire as he captured my stare. “Understand why. Understand who I really am. Understand who you are. And understand why I have to do this.”
“What… what is this?” I asked, dropping my eyes to the table.
Anderson leaned forward and poured a measure of whisky into each glass. “This…” Emotion flowed through his voice and his words came out raspy and full of defeat. “…This is my story. My life.” Once again his eyes lifted to mine, and he passed me a glass. “And the sanction for your death.”
I PLACED THE FIRST PAPER down in the top left corner of the table. “My birth certificate. The only thing I have of Judd Asher.”
“Where did you get it?”
She stared at the certificate, avoiding my eyes, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Her beautiful face captured me, the softness of her serene blue eyes held me hostage, and the way her bottom lip disappeared behind her top teeth when she sucked on it ruthlessly made my cock hard.
Throughout my life I had fought for everything. To breathe, to stop the pain, to have hope. But this, Kloe, was my biggest fight yet. She ruled the battle I had with myself daily. She stabbed my heart over and over with her compassion and her gentleness. But I had only one choice. I had to ruin her. It was the only way for me to finally move forward.
“Oh, it’s not the original, unfortunately. It’s a copy.”
Then placing the next paper down next to the certificate, I watched the sadness seep into her pretty eyes. “A newspaper clipping about my disappearance.”
She swallowed but nodded slowly, still her gaze anywhere but on me.
And then I placed another clipping down at the very right-hand edge of the table, leaving a long gap between both articles. “And a random newspaper piece when I was found in Hank and Mary’s basement.”
Kloe took a breath and then a large mouthful of the whisky, her gulp loud in the quiet room. Slowly she nodded again. “And the in-between?”
Rolling my eyes dramatically, I tutted. “You of all people should know there is no evidence of an in-between. I have nothing, only memories. Horrific and bloody memories to fill that gap, Kloe.”
Her eyes finally snapped to mine. “Anderson…”
“But,” I held a finger up to shush her, “I needed to fill that gap with something other than random and broken memories, Kloe. That nothing would forever haunt me, choke me, chew up my mind with all the lies and cruel thoughts that never leave.”
She lifted her hand, leaving it stuttering in the air between us before she sighed and lowered it back to her lap. I had to gulp back the need to take her offered hand. But her touch wouldn’t make this any easier. Far from it.
“So,” I continued as I poured us more alcohol, “I started to dig into my past to find anything, any hope that I had once been a normal little boy. With a family who loved me. Maybe a big hairy dog that would have been my best friend. Hell, even maybe a sister who I could hunt out. Anything. Any tiny - little - thing.” Taking another gulp of whisky, I tipped my head and watched her. “Do you know what I found?”
Eagerness took root in her expression. Her lips parted to accommodate a small suck of air, her excitement to hear my discovery bright in her eyes. “What did you find?”
I scoffed, tipping back more alcohol. “Nothing.”