Beyond What is Given

My palms itched to do the same. “I want you in my life.” The words were out before I could stop them, and then it was like a stream of vomit I couldn’t contain. “I love you. This right here, holding you, tells me everything I need to know about my future, because this is where I want to be. I don’t care if I’m in Colorado, or you’re in North Carolina, or if we move to North Dakota.” I pulled back so I could look into those green eyes that I prayed would show up on our future daughters. “I know you can’t stay, and I can’t go. So I don’t know how, but we have to figure something out. I swear I can’t breathe when you’re gone.”


Her lips found mine, and she gently stroked my lower lip with her tongue. “I know, and I feel the same. But I can’t walk out on what I’m doing right now. And as much as I miss you, and need you, I have to see this through on my own. The hearing will be over in January, but no college is going to take me until everything is cleared up. Maybe it’s selfish, but I want to graduate there.”

“Look at you, all accountable.” I kissed her, but kept it quick. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Just don’t walk out that door again without giving us a way. I almost didn’t survive last time.”

Her fingers ran through my hair, and I arched into her touch. “Me, either,” she whispered. “We’ve been apart for months with almost no contact, and I still love you. I crave you every moment. I don’t see that changing while we work through all of this.”

The tiny spark of hope that flared to life when I saw her at the ball caught fire, and I burned with need for everything she was. “Long distance? I can do it.”

She laughed. “Yeah, you’ve proven yourself there. Grace?” Her expression fell. “I can’t help but feel like I ruined your miracle.”

I shook my head. “You’re all I see, all I want. No one else has this effect on me.” I dipped my head and kissed her, running my tongue along the seam of her lips until she let me in. The kiss was slow but full of so much love that I couldn’t help but sigh. “Sam, you’re right. I got my miracle, but it wasn’t Grace. It was you. You kick-started my heart and brought me to life the minute you opened your mouth and dished my own shit back at me. You gave me something to fight for, a reason to see beyond the shit hand fate had given me, and start to imagine a future. And when I think about my life, you’re all I see. You’re it. You are my miracle.”

Her eyes shined, and her lips trembled as she kissed me lightly. “Okay. We’ll figure this out. I don’t know how, but we will.” Her eyes lit in a way I hadn’t seen since before Grace woke up, and her smile was enough to bring me to my knees, if they weren’t already tangled with hers. “Oh, and I brought you a present.”

“You did?”

“I figured graduation was a brownie kind of moment.” She rolled out of my reach and brought a box between us, then handed me the chocolate square. “So I baked while I was at Morgan’s. Hopefully I got it right.”

I bit into it and closed my eyes in ultimate surrender. They were perfect, with that special hint of something I could never define. My eyes popped open. “These are my mom’s. I’ve been after this recipe for years.”

She shrugged. “She taught me that day she invited me over.”

“She swore she would never give it to me until…” When you grow up and realize what’s good for you.

Sam squeaked when I knocked the box to the floor and pulled her underneath me, chocolate still smearing her lips. “Kissing is fair game, right?” I asked, grinning.

She nodded slowly, her eyes darting to my lips.

I looked to the clock. “We have to be at graduation in seven hours. I’m going to kiss you every single minute of it.”



By the time we showed up at graduation, our lips were swollen, and her neck was irritated from my now-shaved scruff.

Samantha pinned my wings to my chest with a silver set she’d had engraved with my initials. My dad even smiled. Pictures were taken, lunch eaten, and I took her to the airport.

“You’re mine?” I asked, my arms wound around her waist at security.

“As much as you’re mine,” she answered, her fingers locked behind my neck.

“We’ll find a way.”

She leaned up on her toes and kissed me. “We’ll find a way.”

I watched her until she’d gone through security and waved.

Then I went back to finish packing. I would find a damned way. I was done leaving my life up to fate, done waiting for things to work out, and done waiting to be with Sam. I’d find the way, or I’d fucking make one.





Chapter Thirty-Four


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