Gentry was biting the inside of her cheek like she was clamping down on the words bunching up in her mouth, so Colby said, “Spit it out, Sis.”
“This is exactly why I don’t want a serious relationship.” She raised one shoulder. “I mean, if you can’t trust someone like Alec, who can you trust?”
“Don’t,” Hunter warned. “We’re not going to trash Alec. He’s been through as much as Colby, and he’s just as hurt.”
“Colby’s your sister,” their mom said. “Loyalty lies with your family.”
“Loyalty lies in your heart. In your gut. In looking at people’s intentions, not just judging their actions.” Hunter rubbed his hand over his face before looking at his wife. “Babe, I’ll meet you at home. I need to talk to Colby alone.”
His authoritarian tone went unquestioned, as usual. They all took advantage of the chance to escape their discomfort with one another by taking off after hugging Colby in a final show of love and support.
Of course, their mom just stared at Hunter when he bugged his eyes at her to demand a little privacy.
“Hey, this is my house.” She crossed her arms.
He shook his head before grabbing Colby’s hand and dragging her onto the deck, where he stood for a minute, looking at the hedgerow separating their mom’s yard from the Morgans’ house.
Some might fight his tyranny, but Colby knew he loved her, and that he would eventually say something wise. For all his flaws, his strength of mind and purpose had always helped refill her tank when she let him in.
“Come with me.” His voice had softened, so she followed him to the back of the yard, through the bushes, and to the old tree house.
She hadn’t wandered back here in ages. The strip of woods separating her mom’s street from the one behind it had seemed as dense and vast as Mount Hood National Forest when she’d been small. And the fort had been a castle in the air—a place of laughter and tears, secrets and wishes.
Hunter stared up at it for a moment before he spoke, although his gaze seemed unfocused. A rarity. “Lots of memories.”
“Yes.”
“Not all of them good, especially not for Alec.”
Colby didn’t reply. Alec had never talked to her about his problems back then, although she’d witnessed him with his dad often enough to feel sorry for him.
“I have to be honest,” Hunter continued. “I didn’t like Joe much once he hit puberty. The only thing that kept me from kicking his ass was the fact that he always watched out for you.”
“Hunter!” Colby didn’t like disparaging the dead. Especially not one who’d been her friend.
“Listen.” Hunter held up a hand. “When you two were little, Alec always fought to let you up there with us, even when I didn’t want you guys around. He’d never hurt a living thing in his life. Hell, he’d remove spiders from the fort rather than kill them. I watched him turn the other cheek with his dad and Joe time after time, and, trust me, Joe could be every bit as nasty as Frank Morgan. To be honest, it pissed me off. But Alec always believed in taking the high road. And dammit, the one time he didn’t has now bitten him in the ass.”
“What’s your point?” Colby crossed her arms, wondering if Hunter blamed her for the situation.
He gripped her biceps. “My point is that I love you, but I love him, too. You haven’t asked, but I’m telling you now I’m not going to take sides.”
“I’m not asking you to, Hunter. I don’t think Alec’s a bad person, although if I’d known about the letter . . .”
“Then what?” Hunter released her in order to raise his hands heavenward. “What possible difference does that letter really make? You knew about Mark’s illness. You knew he was depressed about Joe. I’d bet everything that he probably made similar comments to you throughout those weeks following Joe’s funeral. Would some rambling words in a letter he sent to Alec honestly have changed anything you did before the morning he jumped?” Hunter cocked his head, barely giving her time to keep up with his thoughts. “If I’d have received that kind of letter from Mark, I’d have ignored it, too. Remember, none of us knew about his illness because you chose not to confide in your family or friends. You can’t blame any of us for writing off his moods as melodramatic. And Alec didn’t owe Mark his forgiveness. But you have to know that if Alec had had any real concern about Mark’s state of mind, he would’ve warned you.”
“Even if that’s all true, Alec lied about it all this time. He wasn’t honest with me. He didn’t trust me.”
“Maybe he just didn’t see the purpose now that so much time has passed. Even if he’d come to you right afterward, it wouldn’t have erased what you saw or lost. It wouldn’t have alleviated your own sense of responsibility for Mark’s state of mind. Nothing in this whole situation is that clear-cut. You, Alec, Joe, and I have a lifetime of history, but we’re not those little kids anymore, playing Truth or Dare and arguing about who has to clean up the fort. We’re grown-ups, which means we have to be willing to deal with messy shit. We have to look at the big picture instead of getting hung up on a small detail.”
He glanced back up at the tree house. “Here’s something else to consider. All these years you stayed friends with Joe and never once stood up to him when he’d insult Alec, yet I don’t see Alec holding that against you. How many times did Joe openly refer to Mark as his brother in front of Alec? Maybe that never registered with you, but, trust me, it registered for Alec. You were in a position to make a difference with those two, but you didn’t even try.”
“Why are you attacking me? I’m heartbroken, too, you know. I thought all the pieces of my life were finally coming together. Alec blew it all up. He walked away, just like Mark, without giving me a choice or trying to fix our problems.”
“Don’t compare those two. Mark checked out and left you holding the cards because he wanted to escape his pain. Alec left because he’s dumb enough to think someone else might be better for you. And the only reason he thinks that is because he’s so used to being told he’s not man enough—he just assumes it’s true. He’s never had anyone fight for him, including you. So don’t tell me you have no choice. We all have choices. The only real question is whether you think he’s worth fighting for.”
He sucked in a breath after that emotional tirade. Abruptly, he bear-hugged her and kissed her forehead. “I love you. I’m sorry for everything you’ve suffered. Like I said before, I’m not taking sides, just playing devil’s advocate. Despite what it might sound like right now, I’m here for you, whatever you need. Just remember you’re not the only person hurting.”
She wished being wrapped in his solid arms would somehow infuse her with a bit of his strength, but when he released her, she knew that wish hadn’t been granted.
He banged a hand against the tree-house ladder before turning to go. “You coming?”
“Not yet.” She needed some time alone before she could subject herself to her mother’s hovering.