“Is that how it always is for them?” Lena asked softly. “Will I be Jenner’s protector?”
“No. Not always. There will be times that are more dangerous for them than others, especially when they carry out kill orders, but Jenner has done just fine fending for himself up until now, right?”
“He says he finds a different den every winter and that he’s always concerned a hunter will stumble upon him sleeping. He hibernates around the lodge.”
“He does? I thought he was on Kodiak Island or something like Tobias.”
“Nope. The guided hunts start in September, and I think he just works until he gets tired and finds a den last minute.”
Elyse ran her fingertips absently over her lips as she stared off into the evergreen woods. “Your job requires you to travel, and that is what he is concerned about, too?”
“Yes, but I’ve emailed my boss, and that can be fixed. Jenner’s stuck on the hibernation part. He thinks he can’t give me a good life.”
“Please. Jenner can afford to provide for a mate, even if you weren’t bringing in any income, which you are, so his argument there is completely invalid. He’s probably just freaking out like Ian did. It’s hard on them to think about going to sleep, not knowing what is happening with us while they hibernate. And it’s hard, Lena. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I’m already dreading winter. I’m already dreading the couple of weeks before Ian goes down. He’ll start eating more, and we’ll be able to tell our time together is coming to an end. I cried for days his first hibernation, and the loneliness is wretched. I would go down into the root cellar where he was sleeping and just lay beside him, because I missed him so much. It’s committing yourself to only seeing your mate for half the year. You will grow tough that first winter, and you’ll feel that ache of emptiness down to your bones.” Lena’s heart had grown heavier with every word until Elyse said, “But…summers. Oh, Lena, warm weather is magic. There is nothing like being bonded to a shifter. It would mean complete devotion all your days until the end of your life. There’s good and bad, but I can’t tell you what to do. You have to decide for yourself whether you are strong enough to be a Silver.”
When Miki nudged Lena’s palm, she scratched his head. “I’m so tired of running. I didn’t even realize it until I came here and spent time in Alaska and connected with an actual place for the first time…ever. I’ve been living in a hotel, living out of a suitcase, never settling because nothing anchored me. And then I met Jenner, and I realized that maybe home isn’t a place at all. That maybe it’s Jenner. Even if he’s asleep for half the year, I would get the other half. That’s the part I can’t shake. I can’t imagine trying to find someone else. I can’t imagine settling, because that’s what it would be. I would compare every man to him, and how can anyone stack up? It would be a half-life. Nothing more.”
Elyse hugged her shoulders and brought her in close. “Oh, Lena, you have it bad.”
“What do I do to convince him I belong with him?”
A slow smile took Elyse’s face. “Come on. I have something I want you to see.”
Chapter Fifteen
Two days.
Irritated, Jenner rubbed the palm of his hand back and forth against his forehead, his elbows resting on the dining table as he stared at the picture of Lena on his digital camera. It was the one he’d taken when she was up on the horse, posing and grinning with that beautiful smile of hers.
He’d done right by her, but it didn’t make it any less painful now.
Dalton and Chance were on a fishing trip with the bachelor party boys, and Jenner had dipped slowly into madness over the past forty-eight hours with Lennard casting him worried glances every ten minutes.
“I have to show you something,” Lennard said, toting his laptop. He opened it on the Bucks and Backwoods website. A familiar picture glowed back at him, so Jenner set the camera down and pulled the computer closer. It was a picture of the moose in the pond, and her baby in the background. Beside it was an article about Silver Summit Outfitters.
“She did us proud, boy. And so did you. You really impressed her. I didn’t think she wrote articles for them, but they published this one online under their guided trips section. We have the highest rating and are listed at the top. I’ve had calls all day asking about openings.”
Jenner skimmed the article. She’d praised him as the best guide she’d ever worked with, and when he got to the end, to her signature line, he leaned back in the chair, baffled. She had every right to be angry with him, but she’d just boosted his standing in the industry. Why had she gone to the trouble?
“I turned down a couple of immediate tours for you, Jenner,” Lennard said quietly.
“Why would you do that? I need to stay busy. Fill me up.”
“I think you should take a little time off.”