“The more evil one,” Thistle supplied. “The most evil one is still out there.”
“Oh, man.” Landon pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. “I thought we were finally getting somewhere.”
“We are. We just have to figure out Aunt Tillie’s endgame. If she’s dusting off triplets, that means they’ll play into the finale.”
“And you’re convinced we’re close to the finale?”
Landon looked so hopeful I couldn’t deny him. “I do. I think we’re closer than we realize. I think we simply need to find Aunt Tillie, get through the final scene, and then she’ll send us home.”
“Is that something you know or something you feel?”
I shrugged. “A little of both.”
“I’ll take it.” Landon rubbed his hand over my back as he stared at the woman in the well. “So, are we supposed to get her out of there or leave her? I could go either way on this one.”
I snickered. “I think we’re supposed to get her out, but first we need to come to an understanding.” I leveled my gaze on Nikki. She seemed agitated. I was fine with that. In fact, I preferred it. “If we get you out of there, you have to help us catch Aunt Tillie.”
“I don’t know who that is.” Nikki was stubborn as she folded her arms across her chest. “I’ve never heard that name before.”
“Alexis Kane,” I corrected, internally chastising myself. Aunt Tillie wanted us to play the game. If we expected to get out of here soon, we’d have to follow the rules. “We know what she’s planning. In fact … we know about the snow sharks.”
Nikki rubbed her hands together, gleeful. “It’s going to be glorious. We’re going to bring the world to its knees so the people will worship us.”
“That was a little over the top,” Landon lamented. “We know about her plan. We’re going to stop her ... with or without your help.”
I put my hand on his arm to still him before he said something else we couldn’t back up. “I have a feeling we’re going to need her help.”
Landon frowned. “Do you have to ruin all of my fun? I get to have so little fun in this world. Basically I’ve gotten to almost marry you and that’s it.”
I couldn’t help being surprised. “You thought that was the most fun part?”
“You didn’t?”
“I kind of liked the disco ball room and the power ballad,” I admitted.
“We agreed never to speak of that again.”
“No, you agreed never to speak of that again,” I corrected. “I think I’ll have some nice dreams about it.”
“That’s the difference between men and women,” Landon complained. “You were happy with the buildup, while I wanted the happy ending.”
“Is that why you liked the wedding?” It was a bold question, but I asked it all the same.
Landon nodded without hesitation. “Yes.”
“Wow! And here I thought you wouldn’t be waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I don’t even know what to make of it. I guess I like it. Okay, I’ve changed my mind. That was my favorite part, too.”
Landon grinned. “This is a crappy honeymoon for us, though. I would rather do it with a massage, dinner and private time.”
“And a pedicure,” I reminded him.
“Don’t remind me.” Landon turned his full attention back to Nikki. “Okay, here’s the deal, we’ll get you out of the well if you agree to help us take down Alexis Kane. That’s your only option. If you don’t agree to our terms, you’re on your own.”
Nikki’s mouth dropped open. “You’d leave me here to suffer and die? What kind of person does that?”
“You should know,” I replied. “Who shoved you in this well?”
“I … .” Nikki broke off, thoughtful.
“It was the most evil triplet, right? Yeah, that’s what I figured. We’re going to have to take her on next. Once we get through with her that leaves Aunt Tillie. She’ll be the last obstacle.”
“How can you be sure?” Landon asked. “How do you know the most evil triplet won’t be the one we face off with in the end?”
“Because true evil never makes it to the end on a soap opera,” I replied. “It’s the conflicted characters, the ones who aren’t one thing or the other, who make it to the end. They live on in soap opera infamy.”
“They’re also Aunt Tillie’s favorites,” Thistle added. “Bay is right. We need to form a pact with this one to take out the bad one. That leaves us with a clear shot at Aunt Tillie.”
“Okay.” Landon was amenable to letting us take charge. “I just have one question.”
“Shoot.”
“Are we actually going to see snow sharks before the end of this thing? If so, I kind of want to find an athletic cup or something.”
I pursed my lips to keep from laughing. “I have no idea. I guess we’ll have to find out together.”
“That’s the way I like discovering everything.” His smile was heartfelt. “Here we go again, huh?”
“Yeah, here we go again.”
I want to give birth on a soap opera. The women don’t sweat, grunt only twice and their makeup doesn’t even run. That’s the way to do it.
– Clove on the joys of soap opera motherhood
Eighteen
Nikki was not a happy triplet. Landon easily managed to tug her out of the well, and when she was on the ground next to us I got the distinct impression that she was considering running. Landon must have, too, because he grabbed her arm and shook his head before she could work up the gumption to make a break for it.
“If I have to chase you, you won’t like it.”
Nikki scowled. “I don’t like you.”
“The feeling is mutual.” Landon shifted his gaze to me. “Okay. What do we do next?”
I had no idea. “Well … we need to make a plan to catch her. To do that, we need information on where she is and exactly what she’s doing.”
“Okay.” Landon hunkered down so he was on an even level with Nikki. “Where is she?”
“It is not my place to tell.”
“Well, you have to tell me.”
“No.”
Landon looked to me for help. “Do you want to say anything here?”
“What do you want me to say?” I challenged. “You’re the FBI agent. Isn’t it your job to negotiate with terrorists?”
“Am I supposed to treat her like a terrorist?”
I shrugged. “What would you do if she was a terrorist?”
“Well, I’d slap her around and start breaking fingers.” Landon winked to let me know he was kidding. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I knew all too well that he didn’t have it in him to hit an old woman – even if she was a fake character in a soap opera and he was clearly tired and ready to escape.
“How else?” I asked, legitimately curious.
“I’d threaten her with jail, perhaps lock her in a federal prison until it loosened her lips. I don’t think I have that option here.”
He wasn’t wrong. I rolled my neck and stared at the sky a moment. “We could try to curse her.”
Thistle, who stood about ten feet away with Marcus, perked up at the suggestion. “Do you think we can do that here?”
“I don’t know. It’s worth a shot.”
“Okay.” Thistle flexed her fingers. “I suggest we start with the urinary tract infection spell and then tilt it into the nails on a chalkboard chant. That’s always a crowd pleaser.”
I watched Nikki’s eyes for signs of recognition, but she didn’t so much as bat an eyelash.
“It won’t work on her,” I announced, drawing multiple sets of eyes to me. “She’s not real.”
“How can you be sure?” Landon asked.
“And even if you are sure, why don’t we test the curses anyway?” Thistle suggested.
I ignored her evil smile. “She’s just an empty vessel. It’s kind of like she’s a character in a computer game. She can only do what she’s programmed to do. She’s not Aunt Tillie. The woman at the church was Aunt Tillie.”
“I’m not doubting you,” Landon said, “but how can you be absolutely sure?”
“Because the Aunt Tillie at the church didn’t have to stick to a script,” I replied. “She could say and do what she wanted. She knew I was upset about the wedding, that I felt it was a bit cruel. She wanted to make sure I knew why she did it.”