“Thwart?” Landon shook his head. “Yeah, I should’ve seen this coming. You listen here, Teddy Flynn, we don’t have time to mess around. We need that diamond and we’re not going to stop until we get it.”
“We can stop you.” Teddy was firm. “Don’t make us kill you.”
The last sentence was uttered in a whisper, but it was one everyone in the gymnasium joined in saying together, so a creepy hiss wafted through the room, causing my blood to run cold.
“Oh, well, that’s not freaky or anything,” Landon said, sliding his arm around my waist.
“I already hate this place,” Clove announced. “Screw the diamond. Let’s get out of here.”
I opened my mouth to agree, but was distracted when another figure hopped on the stage at the end of the room, his red jumpsuit standing out in a sea of pastels. The expression on the man’s face was one of utter contempt.
“Oh, no,” I muttered.
Landon followed my gaze. “Who is that? Do you recognize him?”
I shook my head. “No, but I sense something is about to happen.”
“Why?”
“Because his jumpsuit is a different color and he’s on a stage.”
“Oh, well, go ahead and be logical.”
The man on the stage raised his hand for everyone’s attention. I spared a glance for Teddy and found his face had gone white.
“I am Flynn Warfield,” the man announced.
“I thought you were Flynn Warfield,” Thistle challenged her father.
“I … um … .” Teddy was at a loss for words.
“I am Flynn Warfield,” the man at the front of the room repeated. “I was your second-in-command for twenty years until that man claimed to be me.” He extended a knobby finger in Teddy’s direction. “He said I was in an accident and needed reconstructive surgery. That was a lie!
“He locked me in a dungeon room in my own family’s facility, but I escaped and am back,” he continued. “I am the real Flynn Warfield, and I’m taking back my kingdom. All usurpers should beware. I’m not taking any prisoners.”
“Oh, well, that sounds ominous.” Landon turned so he could scan the room again. “Do you think they have a restaurant here? I’m starving.”
I was sad when your great-uncle died. I was lonely. Do you know what saved me? Knowing there were worse things out there … like evil twins, back-from-the-dead psychopaths and aliens that were allowed to hang out with little girls without being considered creepy. That’s why soap operas rule.
– Aunt Tillie explaining the joys of soap operas
Six
“I don’t understand.” Landon’s pragmatic mind was having real trouble with a fake soap opera world. “How could one guy pretend to be the other guy and no one notice the difference?”
“You would be surprised how often that happens on soaps,” I said. “A lot of times it happens because the original actor quit and they needed to recast. They often explain the change with an accident that required plastic surgery. Other times they simply ignore it.
“Then, when the original actor comes back, they do this sort of switch thing where they either pretend the facial reconstruction didn’t happen or create a never-before-seen twin,” I continued. “I think every soap has trotted this out a time or two.”
“Max on One Life to Live,” Clove volunteered.
“Todd on One Life to Live,” Thistle added.
“It sounds like there’s more than one life to live on that soap,” Landon grumbled. “It looks like the red shirt is going to speak again. I can’t wait to hear the rest of this.”
“Zeton was built as a place for peace and happiness,” Flynn continued. “That’s what I envisioned when I set out to establish the community. I still believe in it, despite the fact that I was held in the basement for three years and no one noticed this imposter sullying my good name!”
He roared the final words as he pointed at Teddy. For his part, Thistle’s father looked as if he’d rather be in a different hole in the ground.
“Does anyone else feel as if we’re stuck in a high school Shakespeare production and the knives and poison are about to start flying?” Marcus asked.
Sadly, that felt like an apt comparison. “We need to get out of here.”
“We need the diamond first,” Landon argued. “We have to stick to the storyline. If it’s one thing I’ve learned about Aunt Tillie’s little magical lessons, if we don’t stick to the storyline we’ll be worse off.”
“I’m not sure how it could get worse than this,” Thistle noted, her eyes zeroing in on the rather impressive … um, package … on display thanks to the man standing next to her. Apparently underwear and boxer shorts were a no-no in Zeton, even though they desperately needed them thanks to the tight jumpsuits. “Seriously, it’s like being trapped in a really weird porn movie.”
“Hey!” Marcus snapped his fingers in front of Thistle’s face to get her attention. “Don’t look at that.”
“Oh, it’s not so funny now, is it?” Landon chortled. “When Bay’s butt was getting pinched, everyone told me to suck it up. Now that Thistle has roaming eyes we need to get out of this mess. That’s typical.”
“I happened to believe we needed to get out of this mess before that,” Marcus argued. “It’s just … hey, what is that guy doing?”
Marcus’ attention moved back to the stage and, as with any good train wreck, I couldn’t stop myself from looking. It seemed Flynn was in the middle of stripping out of his jumper … and he had something clutched in his hand.
“I’ve decided to move Zeton to a fresh location, one that hasn’t been corrupted by greed,” Flynn announced. “The current location is a mess thanks to that man and his machinations. I’m not very happy with everyone else, either. I mean … couldn’t you have tested him with questions only I’d know the answers to?”
“We tried,” a woman in the crowd replied. “He said he had amnesia.”
“And you believed him?”
The woman shrugged. “He had a jumper. Where did he get the jumper if he wasn’t you?”
“I believe you can find them at any cheap Halloween store,” Clove offered helpfully.
“It doesn’t matter,” Flynn bellowed. “I am moving the location of Zeton. Only those I trust will be allowed to come with me.”
“How do you expect to do that?” Teddy challenged, finding his voice. “You can’t steal the heritage of this mountain, of this group, and co-opt it for a new group simply because you wish it. Zeton is much more than a place to live. If the people leave here, their immune systems will crash. They haven’t been exposed to the outside world in decades.”
“The door is right there,” Landon offered. “It opens and closes pretty easily. I think they’ll be fine.”
“Silence,” Teddy snapped. “You’re the reason this is happening.”
“Me?”
“You distracted me. You called me away when I should’ve been watching the prisoner.”
“Hey, if you were the only one watching him for years on end, you have other issues.” Landon’s weariness came out to play. “Now, give me that diamond and we’ll leave you to your domestic dispute.”
“I will not.” Teddy was firm. “You can torture me, make me listen to Barbra Streisand music and eat turnips, I still won’t hand over the diamond.”
“Oh, let’s not get dramatic.” Landon rolled his eyes. “I really hate this place.”
“Besides, friend, that imposter is no longer in charge of the Diamond of Life,” Flynn announced. “I am.”
The crowd gasped as Flynn held up what looked to be a very cheap hunk of cut glass.
“You can’t take that,” Teddy shrieked. “You’ll kill us if you do. The oxygenators won’t work without the diamond.”
“And yet we’re breathing now,” Landon pointed out. “In fact … the door is literally right there. All you have to do is walk through it … and stop at the nearest clothing store, because you’ll get your ass beat on the street if you wear that. You’ll be fine.”
“It’s not going to be fine,” Teddy argued. “Zeton is falling.”