A Missing Heart

“I panicked,” is all I can say.

“I had my hairdresser remove the foils from my hair sooner than she should have, so I don’t know what I’ll look like when I get there, but I figured you’d want me there too.”

“I don’t think anyone cares about what you look like right now,” I tell her, keeping my voice down since we’re not supposed to be using cell phones in here.

“Well, I do, obviously,” she replies. “Yeah, fuck you too!” She’s not yelling at me, it’s someone on the road, I’m sure. “Sorry, this guy just cut me off.”

“He has a high fever, so I’m waiting for the doctor to come in.”

“Ugh, this guy is seriously pissing me off right now,” she continues. “Now he’s going as slow as possible just to make sure I don’t get to the hospital.” I hear the horn blaring, followed by more unnecessary shouts. “When did you notice he had a fever? I thought he felt a little warm last night after dinner, but I didn’t think much about it.” Maternal instinct isn’t Tori’s strong suit, but I suppose not all moms have that instinct.

“Hunter noticed it when he picked him up,” I tell her.

“Of course, Mr. Mom would figure this out first,” she says, sarcastically.

“Easy,” I tell her. Tori loved Hunter up until Gavin was born. It was like a switch flipped afterward. Hunter never offers unsolicited advice to her, but I think she has an issue with the fact that he’s a seasoned parent, and things come a little more naturally to him than they do for her. Hunter’s been a parent for seven years longer so I don’t think it’s anything to feel inferior about.

“Let me guess, he’s still sitting there as your backup parent, slash babysitter, right?”

“Tori? When did you start hating me so much?” I don’t mean to sound like a victim, and I don’t like to fight. I don’t like to even bicker. I did enough of that with Alexa in my last marriage, so I promised myself I’d do my best to keep the peace and follow my vows—the whole nine yards—so I don’t end up divorced a second time before turning thirty. Instead, I find myself keeping my mouth closed and saying, “Yes, honey,” more often than I should have to. Asking her why she hates me isn’t something I’ve ever done but I’m exhausted, irritated, and not in the mood for her attitude right now, so the words just came out.

There’s no answer to my question, just silence. After several seconds of no sound, I pull the phone away, seeing she hung up on me. I slide the phone back into my pocket and readjust myself in this incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, blue plastic, bucket-seat chair.

My slight movement triggers a loud cry from Gavin, who’s now grabbing at his ear. I think I read babies will do that if they have an ear infection. I wonder if ear infections cause fevers?

The curtain parts from the wall and a young doctor walks through. “I’m Doctor Slate,” he says. “I hear Gavin has a moderate fever without other symptoms. Is that correct?”

“Yes,” I say. “What do you think could be going on?” I realize he hasn’t looked at him yet, but it’s been hours now, which seems like forever, and I just want someone to tell me Gavin’s going to be okay. “He was pulling at his ear a minute ago.” I stand up with Gavin and lay him down on the exam table so the doctor can take a look at him.

In less than a minute, the doctor is peeling his gloves off.

“This little guy has a pretty significant ear infection in both ears. Because his fever is so high, we’re going to do some blood work, but I’m confident the issue is simply the infection, which we can treat with antibiotics. I’m going to have the nurse come in to do the blood work, and we’ll give him a fever reducer as well, but you’ll need to keep up with that every six to eight hours to keep his fever as low as possible until it breaks and it will help with the pain. Lukewarm baths can also help bring the fever down.”

The doctor doesn’t stick around for me to ask questions, but I’m not sure I have questions right now anyway. All I know is, I have to wait again. Taking out my phone, I want to let Hunter know what’s going on, and since Tori’s on her way, let him know he can take off with my truck if he needs to. School will be out soon, and I know he likes to get Olive and Lana from the bus.

By the time I finish the text to Hunter, I hear a voice say, “Go on in; he’s in there.”

The curtain whips open and Tori walks in with a baseball cap on and her wet hair pulled through the back side. “Has the doctor come in yet?” she asks.

“Yeah, it’s an ear infection, but they want to do some tests to make sure it’s nothing more, so we’re waiting for that now.”

“Thank goodness,” she says, looking around the room. “There’s only one chair? What if someone comes with two people?”

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