How my brother and I sprang from the same parents and were raised in the same house was beyond me.
Anyway, the store had this assortment of bobbleheads at the checkout. I got one for the white Honda lady. She probably wouldn’t even use it. It was probably going to end up in a donation bin or in some white elephant gift exchange next year, but it was too perfect not to grab. I left it on her tire.
I let Doobie get his zoomies out in the little dog run off the courtyard. Then I walked him until he pooped. I’d just cleaned it up and was about to head in when someone came up behind me. “Can I pet your dog?”
I turned and to my surprise it was the woman from the elevator. She stood there, the setting sun at her back, holding her sandals.
It might seem a little melodramatic, but she felt like a fairy or a spirit standing there. The flowers were all in bloom and butterflies were floating around, and this beautiful, ethereal woman appears out of nowhere.
“Sure,” I said, trying not to stare. “I’ll hold him so he doesn’t get your skirt muddy. Sorry, he’s still learning not to jump.”
“It’s okay,” she said, crouching. “If I get dirty, I get dirty. I don’t really care today.”
I looped a finger in his collar to keep him from pummeling her anyway. He wiggled and cried, and she scratched under his chin. “What’s his name?”
“Doobie.”
She smiled up at me. “That’s a good name. A good name for a good boy.”
I watched her play with him for a minute. She had on a jade bracelet.
I cleared my throat. “I’ve never seen you here before.”
She talked to me but looked at him. “I don’t live here. I’m just visiting family.”
“Oh. Me too.”
“What kind of dog is he?” she asked.
“I think he’s a Lab mix. I’m not really sure; I rescued him.”
She pivoted to look at me. “Oh. My sister volunteers at a few rescues. Which one?”
“None, I found him. He was abandoned in an empty apartment.”
“Oh my God.” She looked at him with pity. “And you kept him?”
“I did. Not my job to question the dog distribution system.”
She laughed. Then she noticed my arm. “What happened there?”
I twisted my elbow to look at the welt. “Occupational hazard. I was knocking down a hornet’s nest at work. One of them got me.”
“Ouch.”
“Better me than a little old lady.”
She smiled. Then she sat back on her heels and dug in the small purse she had on. “Here. It’s prescription cortisone.”
Doobie was calmer now, so I let go of his collar to take it. The second I wasn’t holding him up, he rolled onto his back so she could rub his belly.
She looked down at him with hearts in her eyes. “He’s so sweet,” she said.
I put a pea-size amount on the sting. “Do you have any pets?”
She shook her head. “No. It’s hard when you live alone.”
“I live alone too. But I work where I live, so I can check on him.” I handed the tube back to her.
“Keep it. In case you need to save any more old ladies.”
“Ha. Thanks.” I slipped it into my pocket.
“It’s pretty swollen,” she said.
I pressed on the walnut-size welt. “It hurts too. It’s hard as hell.”
“It’s actually hard as hail,” she said. “Did you know that? I just learned that today.”
“Is it? I guess it makes sense. Did you know that when someone says ‘Break a leg’ to an actor, it’s because they’re hoping they end up in a cast?”
Her mouth dropped open. “Is that true?”
I was smiling. “I don’t know. I would definitely fact-check me.”
She looked amused at my joke.
“Did you know that the first episode of a show is called a pilot because it’s the first time it’s on the air?” she asked.
“Really,” I deadpanned.
“Really. But I would definitely fact-check me too.”
I laughed and it made her laugh. We shared this small moment, and we held each other’s gaze for a split second. Then she looked away from me and stood up. “Thanks for letting me play with him. It’s been a rough day. I needed it.” She slipped her sandals on.
“Yeah.”
She stood there for a beat. “Have a good night.” Then she turned and started walking back to the building.
Somebody told me once that it only takes a few minutes to know if you like someone. That our initial impression is usually the right one. I liked her. I had the strongest urge to call after her and ask her name, ask for her number, ask her to coffee. I almost did it. I was so close.
Then I realized how I looked.
I was in work clothes. I had paint on my jeans, my steel-toe boots were scuffed. My beard was grown out, I needed a haircut.
I hadn’t given two shits about my appearance since Brenda. What was the point? Who did I have to impress? I wasn’t dating, I wasn’t even looking. But suddenly I cared how I looked. I cared a lot.
I cared enough that it stopped me from stopping her.
So I just let her go. I watched the door close behind her, and the moment was gone.
I beat myself up about it the whole way back up to Frank’s.
When I got there, Andrea was still sitting at the counter.
Andrea was a hairstylist. She did Frank’s hair, and she did a good job.
“Hey, when do you work next?” I asked. “I was thinking about getting a haircut.”
“Yeesssssss!”
I knew instantly that I’d made a mistake. She was way too excited.
“I’ve been wanting to get my hands on your head for months!” She bounced. “This is going to be the most epic ‘before’ and ‘after’ ever.”
“I just want a haircut, Andrea, nothing big.”
“Oh, we’re going big. We’re hitting brows, beard, skin care—I’m about to transition you out of your caveman era. Frank, he’s finally letting me do it!”
“The end of caveman era?” my brother called from the other room.
I rolled my eyes. “You’ve talked about this?”
Andrea nodded, wide-eyed. “Definitely. Many times.”
“Wow. You two are obsessed with me.”
“Here’s the thing, John.” She put her hands together. “You are a giver. You do everything for everyone else before you do a single thing for you. I honestly think that’s why the Brenda thing hit you so hard. Instead of being like, ‘Wow! This is a great guy!’ she took it for granted and screwed you over, and when she left, you had nobody to love, and you didn’t know how to love yourself.”
I blinked at her. That was oddly insightful.
“You deserve self-care,” she said, going on. “You deserve to feel good and to look good and to let someone do something for you for a change. Just let me.”
She looked at me earnestly.
I let out a puff of air. “Fine.”
She did a little dancy thing in her seat.
The next day I was Pretty Woman’d within an inch of my life.
Did I look the best I’d looked in years? Yes. Was it at the expense of my dignity? Also yes.
She insisted I participate in a “before” and “after” video for the salon’s social media. She refused to let me pay her, so I felt guilted into agreeing to it.
All the comments on it were backhanded compliments.
It’s like one of those videos where the guy quits drinking and they do a before and after Was he homeless or is this just some guy? He’s cute now tho for real Okay, but why did he look like Encino Man? It’s giving Brendan Fraser
I had to stop looking. Apparently the transformation was jaw-dropping, that’s all I needed to know. I now had the confidence to approach the mystery woman if I ever saw her again.
If.
In the meantime I had a lot to think about, because Andrea was right. I did put everyone before myself. I always had.
Maybe it was time I learned to take care of me.
Holly
CHAPTER 9
The next two days, family came and family went. Grandma drifted in and out. She no longer took breaks from the morphine. It was a vigil now. We didn’t hover around her laughing and joking anymore. We whispered and spoke quietly so she could sleep.
The whole family had been here today. Everyone came and touched her hand and talked to her, even though she didn’t wake up for it.