The thought sent a familiar pang of sadness slicing through her as it had so many times in the last nine months. She still found herself disbelieving that fate could be so cruel, that at the age of twenty-six she had been faced with the deaths of two people who had given her unconditional love her entire life.
Patty and Larry Fox had adopted her at birth, loved her as a child, and spoiled her as a teenager. They'd put her through four years of college, then given her a hand in purchasing the upscale coffee shop. She couldn't have asked for better parents, and she couldn't have loved them more. She'd been devastated when they'd perished in a car accident near their home in Breckenridge.
Until recently, she wouldn't have believed it was possible not to feel that gut-wrenching, life-altering hurt. But with the passage of time the pain had eased and, finally, Addison knew she was beginning to heal.
"Looks like we survived another caffeine rush."
Gretchen's voice jerked Addison from her melancholy thoughts. Thoughts she had no right to be thinking on such a busy morning.
Shaking off the reverie, Addison produced a smile and flipped the switch on the espresso maker. "Speaking of caffeine, do you want an espresso?" she asked, hoping her friend didn't notice the lack of zeal in her smile.
The older woman's eyes caught hers and held them. "You look like you've been up all night again."
Addison laughed, an automatic response designed to conceal, something she did far too often these days. "Best-selling mystery novels and sleep don't mix, Gretch," she said, hating that she'd fallen to telling little white lies. Pulling two demitasse cups from beneath the bar, she poured espresso.
"You're not a very good fibber, Addison. I suspect you were still researching."
"You make it sound as if I've been designing weapons of mass destruction."
"The only thing you're going to destroy is yourself. I know how hard you push."
"I dabble in my spare time, Gretch. Nothing wrong with that."
"Honey, you don't have any spare time."
Addison didn't expect Gretchen to understand the urgency that had driven her to spend the last nine months searching for her birth parents. Gretchen had three children and four grandchildren to fill her life, while Addison had no relatives she knew of. How could she stop searching for her birth parents, knowing that somewhere she had family?
"I'm closer to finding them than I've ever been, Gretch. This search is the most important thing in my life right now. Until I've exhausted every possible lead, I can't stop."
"I'm not asking you to stop. I just want you to realize that there may come a day when it will be time to put this to rest and get on with your life."
Addison took a deep breath, grappling for patience that had worn thin over the months. "I need to know where I came from. I need to know who they are. What they're like—"
"Why they gave you up?"
The question hit a nerve; it always did. But Addison didn't let herself react. It was silly to let that bother her. After all, she was a well-adjusted twenty-six-year-old woman with a successful business that kept her too busy to sneeze most days. "I'm sure they had very good reasons for giving me up."
"Have you considered the possibility that they may want to remain anonymous? That they may not want their privacy invaded?"
"I'm prepared for that." Even as she said the words, Addison wondered just how prepared she really was.
"Honey, I'm proud of what you've accomplished so far. I just don't want you to drive yourself so hard." Gretchen's voice firmed. "I don't want you to get obsessed with something that may never pan out."
Addison had always admired Gretchen's straightforward manner. There was no second-guessing her opinionated friend, and Addison loved her dearly for it. Gretchen was the closest thing to a grandmother she'd ever had, and Addison cherished their relationship. "I'm not obsessed."
"You put in sixty hours a week here, then spend what little time you have left writing letters and making calls. You're twenty-six years old, Addison. You should be going to parties and out on dates."
"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew how badly my last date turned out."
"That strapping young stockbroker?"
''The strapping young stockbroker who was old enough to be my father and failed to tell me he had a wife and four kids in Peoria."
Gretchen managed to look appalled. "One bad apple doesn't mean you should give up on the entire male population."
Addison knew her friend was right. She didn't socialize much. She didn't go out on dates or get invited to parties. With a business that demanded her attention seven days a week, who had the time? Finding a man simply wasn't on her list of priorities.
"I haven't given up. I'm just ... prioritizing." Hoping to return the conversation to the matter at hand, Addison came up behind Gretchen and kissed her cheek, taking in the subtle scent of Chanel. "If I don't get a break or uncover some new information soon, I'll ease up for a while. I promise."
Turning to her, Gretchen placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I just want you to be happy."