Last Vampire Standing

“I am not old,” I said firmly, my slow heartbeat stuttering into triple time.

“Of course you’re not.” Saber’s warm lips nibbled a path from my ear to my neck. “Only two hundred and thirty or so.”

I angled my head to give him more room to tantalize. “I’m—ooh there, yes—only two hundred and twenty-eight, and you know it.”

“I do,” he whispered, nipping me now. “It was hell getting all those candles on your birthday cake.”

Normally I wouldn’t want to trip Saber and beat him to the ground, but I’m sensitive about my age because, well, I’m the older woman. Besides, we did have guests.

“Saber,” I breathed.

“Hmmm?”

“Your lips say seduction, but your words are about to get you smacked.”

His chest rumbled with a chuckle, and he patted my behind.

“You ready to go set off the fireworks?” His eyes sparkled with double meaning.

“Give me five minutes to clean up a little more.”

“You’re up all night, Cesca. Can’t you clean when we get back?”

I leaned into him and smiled. “Not if you want some private fireworks later.”

He gulped. I love it when he does that.

“I’ll just go get March and Balch,” he said, backing away. “We’ll load ’em up and get on the road.”

“The detectives are coming with us?”

“Who do you think will keep us out of jail if someone calls the cops?”

“Good point.” Shooting fireworks just any old time was illegal.

Since Maggie had made the welcome speech, I stepped to the center of the yard to make the good-bye announcement.

“Attention, everyone. Attention please.” I waited for quiet, then said, “Maggie and I sincerely thank you for being a part of our housewarming. If you want to grab a last-minute snack, please do. Otherwise, we’re ready to hit the beach for fireworks.”

Just then, an eerily pained howl that sounded a lot like “Noooooooowaaaaaait” rose from the front yard. A dark blur streaked through the gate and across the lawn to throw itself at my feet. When the blur crystallized, a lanky form in navy blue slacks and a stained yellow polo shirt was kissing my toes.

Six weapons clicked to fire-ready. I knew without looking that three of the guns belonged to the Jag Queens, two to the detectives, and one to Saber. His off-duty .40-caliber Glock.

I didn’t have time to worry if the Jag Queens would get arrested for packing heat. I didn’t have time to worry what the neighbors thought. I didn’t have time to worry what the vampire’s greasy blond hair was doing to my pedicure. Yes, a vampire lay prostrate at my feet. Nothing but a vamp moved as fast as he had, and even a tiny whiff confirmed he stank of sour blood.

“Unless you want to get shot,” I said steadily, “don’t so much as flinch.”

“N-not moving,” he stammered.

“Good. Now, who the hell are you?”

A long moment later, he angled his head to peer at me.

“Would you believe, a part of your destiny?”

TWO

003

“Forget who he is,” Saber shouted. “Step away.”

I kept my gaze on the vampire. Part of my destiny? My Aunt Fang, if I’d had one. Still, he’d snagged my attention.

“It’s okay, Saber. He’s not a threat.”

“You can’t be sure of that. Please, Cesca, move.”

“We’ve got a clear shot on the right,” March said.

“Same on the left flank,” Millie chimed in.

I looked up to find Detectives March and Balch and the Jag Queens fanned out ten feet away, frozen in shooting stances. Our remaining guests gawked from the front gate. Saber alone eased toward me.

“Just give me a minute, guys.”

I narrowed my eyes at the vamp and tried to read his thoughts. No dice. Fear tumbled in his brain like clothes in my dryer, but that’s all I could sense.

“Mister, these folks aren’t kidding around,” I said firmly. “State your name and business. Fast.”

“Are those guns loaded with silver bullets?” he choked out.

“Some of them are. The rest of the bullets will just hurt like hell.”

Very slowly, he craned his neck until I saw part of his dirt-smudged face through the fall of stringy hair. Boyish was my first impression of him, but his amber brown eyes carried the weight of age and pain.

“Jo-Jo the Jester.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

“My name. It’s Jo-Jo.”

“Jo-Jo Jester?”

“Jo-Jo the Jester. A court jester, at your service, my lady,” he said with a slight dip of his head. “May I rise? Looking at you like this is making my eyes cross.”

I glanced at Saber, who now stood to my right. The rest of the posse still had Jo-Jo in their gun sights.

“He needs to stand up,” I said.