“It's the first step.”
The first step to what? I lick my lips. Being at his side instead of behind him is appealing. I place my hand on his elbow. He grabs it with his own gloved hand and pulls it through the space between him and his arm, and rests my fingers on his arm.
“Like that.”
He's so, so close.
“I see.” I look through the open door thinking of what's to come. “And there's to be a sacrifice, yes?”
Instead of answering, he guides me through the door, maneuvers us down the stairs, and slips my hand back on his arm as we walk down the hall.
“There will be a sacrifice.”
The pounding of my heart intensifies. I've gone through it before. Another time will be no different. Except this is my home. My gathering. My only claim on the gathered warlocks of Chardonia. My last claim on anything. My ball will not stoop to their level.
“What if we skipped that part?”
Mid-stride, he stops. “The sacrifice?”
I wiggle my toes. “Yes.”
With a small smile, he resumes our stroll to the ballroom. “First Katherine, now this. You're not the girl I won at the tournament.”
Is that a good thing or a bad thing? A response never forms before we arrive. The oak doors wait. Waiting for Zade to sacrifice someone and make his name as Chancellor. Then to leave me as a tarnished.
“It will be fine.” He pats my hand and nods to the footman.
As the footman opens the door, I can't help but feel as if I should run the other way. I don't want this. I don't want to be in any way a part of sacrificing another human. If I'm to be tarnished anyway, there's nothing preventing me from trying. What can I do to stop it?
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Zade walks into the room. When I don't come, he tugs me forward. My green dress flows around me, shimmering. The gathered crowd goes silent. All eyes are on us. There are so many of them. Despite helping with the guest list, there's more here than I thought there would be. Here to see how our ball turns out? To see us fail? To watch Zade die? Or simply curious? Whatever they want, they aren't going to get.
Remembering Bethany's words, I keep a smile plastered to my face. Is there anything I can do to stop the sacrifice? Perhaps there is. I could jump in front of her. There's no altar or girl in view though.
The stairs lead down to our left, leaving us at the top of a curving balcony. Although it's the largest room in the house, it's full. The only way we'll have space for dancing is by moving guests to other rooms we've prepared for sitting and eating, as well as the garden. The sight of so many makes my legs shake.
“Thank you for joining us.” Zade's voice booms to the crowd below. “We hope you delight in the many surprises we have in store for you this evening.”
Our clothes change in that instant, surely aided by Zade. The crowd gasps. A tingle of excitement zips through me. I'm ready for this. I hope.
“As you know, balls held by a Chancellor or Grand Chancellor are always proceeded by a sacrifice. Tonight will be no different.”
The crowd watches us intently, eager for more. Suddenly, Zade shoves me forward. I reach out and grab the railing. The faces below me become blurs. I'm the sacrifice.
He's not tarnishing me, but sacrificing me? That's what he meant? Not to be his or my Father's? I won't belong to anyone if I'm dead. I grip the railing harder. Why is he doing this? I spin toward him.
“Zade,” I whisper.
“It's fine,” he whispers back. But it's not. He moves toward me, but then takes four steps down the stairs. For the first time, I'm looking down on him.
“My sacrifice.” He waves his hand toward me.
This can't be happening. He's not saving both of us, just himself from death. I can't believe he'd do this to me. This isn't who I thought he was. This can't be happening. I want to do something, but I'm frozen to the floor. “Zade.”
Again, he looks directly at me and whispers, “You're fine, Serena.”
Does that mean it will be a painless death? None of the sacrifices ever called out. They didn't seem as alert as I am either. I was willing to try and stop a sacrifice, but how can I stop my own? Is it worth it if it saves Zade?
No. I'm willing to become a tarnished for him, but I'm not going to become a sacrifice so he can stay Chancellor. I tighten my legs. Maybe I can rush into him. It may not stop it, but it could prolong it.
He faces the crowd, hand still extended toward me. The perfect time. My muscles tense as I get ready to pounce. But his words stop me.
“My sacrifice. Serena, daughter of Councilman Stephen, I will her to accept my sacrifice of ownership of her. She's as free as any warlock.”