Saint Anything

“Yeah,” I told him, reaching for his hand. He gave mine a squeeze, then held on for a beat longer before pulling away. As he walked down the hallway to his class, I started crying again.

“Young love,” Layla said, handing me another tissue. I wiped my eyes, embarrassed. They were right: it was just one night, one show. But I wasn’t a big crier; my emotions, so sudden and fierce, had surprised me. So much, in fact, that it wasn’t until later in the day that I realized the most shocking thing at all. It wasn’t that I’d broken down, but that I hadn’t been alone when I did so. You only really fall apart in front of the people you know can piece you back together. Mac and Layla were there for me. Even if, and especially when, I couldn’t do the same for them.





CHAPTER

24





“DID YOU make plans with Jenn?”

My mom felt bad about saying no to the showcase. Not enough to change her mind, of course. But if I’d asked for just about anything else, I had a feeling my chances were good. Too bad it was the only thing I’d wanted.

“No,” I replied, shutting the dishwasher.

I could feel her watching me as I picked up a dish sponge and wiped down the counters. In the dining room, my father and Ames were still at the table, continuing a discussion that had begun over dinner about movement on the job/housing front. When this came up, it was obvious Ames was surprised. Clearly, he’d assumed that reconnecting my mom and Peyton had bought him more than just a few days. I could have told him that my parents never forgot anything. Once they brought something up, it was always still on the table, even if you chose not to see it.

“Well,” he’d said to them, reaching for another piece of bread, “my lead at the Valley Inn didn’t pan out. But I’ve got applications in at a few other places.”

“And apartments?”

Ames looked at my mom. “Is it a problem, my being here?”

“We’ve talked about this,” my dad told him. “This stay was meant to be temporary, as well as dependent on you actively seeking alternative arrangements.”

“There’s nothing out there,” Ames told him, buttering his bread. He had a lot to learn. At the very least, he should stop eating. “The job market . . . it’s tough right now.”

My dad looked at my mom, who reached down to the empty chair beside her and pulled out a folder, putting it on the table. Uh-oh.

“I took the liberty of examining the classifieds today. I found six positions you’re qualified for. And too many roommate want ads to count.”

Ames was chewing, staring at her, as she slid the folder across to him. Finally, he swallowed. “If you guys want me out, I’m out,” he said.

Silence. This was his Hail Mary. “I think that’s best,” my mom told him. “Peyton?”

“I agree.” My dad picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth. “We appreciate all you’ve done for us. But this is better for everyone.”

I was in shock. Funny how the world works. You don’t get the something you really covet, but then the universe provides unexpected compensation. Here I thought you had to make a wish for it to come true.

Ames, true to form, was not going down easy. First, he tried to negotiate for another month. Then a week, followed by the rest of this one. As his offers got lower and lower, it became that much harder to watch, which was why my mom and I had gone into the kitchen. My dad, however, was in his element. He could go all night, and I had a feeling he might have to.

They were still there when I went up to my room at seven thirty. The showcase had started at seven, and Irv had promised me he’d message me on HiThere! when they went on at seven forty-five so I could watch on my phone. In the meantime, I was with them in spirit, via dueling text message exchanges with Mac and Layla.

Layla: Eric just informed me that my outfit isn’t meta enough. What the hell does that mean?

Not enough black? I wrote her back.

Mac: Our sound check sucked and everyone’s fighting about clothes. Kill me now.

You’ll be great, I replied to him.

There was a sound out in the hallway, past my half-open door. I paused, listening. A moment later, I heard my mom moving around the War Room and went back to my phone.

Lot of people here, Layla had written in the interim.

Nervous?

No. A pause. Then: Yes.

Another beep. Mac: Might have to smack Eric. For common good.

Try to resist, I wrote him back. Hear you have a big crowd.

Showcase does. Not us.

Typical, I thought. Back to Layla.

Not right w/out you. Wish you were here.

Beep. Mac. I flipped back to his screen. Rather be at Commons Park with you.

It was dizzying, carrying on both of these conversations at once. So I was grateful that I could give them each the same answer.

Me too.

It was seven forty-five when Irv sent the HiThere! invite. I hit ACCEPT and then he appeared, his face taking up the entire screen. I could barely hear him, the noise of the crowd was so loud.

“They are taking the stage,” he reported, as a girl with platinum hair bumped him from behind.