EIGHT
WITH SHAKING FINGERS, I extracted my phone from my pocket and texted Malachi the address of the colonial. I was nearly ten blocks from the shelter, but maybe he could get Henry to drive him here, and then we could figure it out together.
While I waited for a reply, I crept around back to get a sense of what we were dealing with. Though most of the windows were boarded, some of the plywood was rotting in places and sagging away from the sills. A few of the low basement windows hadn’t been covered. I lay down on the ground and peeked through an open frame that still held a few shards of glass. The white winter sun was high enough to give me some help, its beams revealing an open room full of boxes and junk of all types. Nothing moved inside. My hand drifted to my waist, where I’d clipped a knife before we’d left the Station, once again at Malachi’s quiet insistence.
As I stood up, I heard it. A soft mewling sound from inside the house. Wishing my heart wasn’t beating so loudly in my ears, I skirted down an incline and around the back; then I crawled past the shattered windows of the walk-out basement to the other side. The whimpering was louder near the front of the house, wrenching sobs that penetrated the walls and dissipated like smoke in the chilly air. I squatted beneath the boarded window where the noise was loudest.
“I said, shut up!” someone growled, deep and vicious.
“Please please please,” cried the voice. It sounded male, but young. And so, so scared. “Please let me go. I won’t tell anyone!”
Then he screamed, a sound that tore through me like a blade.
“I’ll do it again if you don’t shut up,” said the boy’s snarling captor. “My brothers and sisters are trying to sleep up there. You wake them, I get in trouble.”
I gritted my teeth and wrenched myself away from the window, pulling my phone from my pocket again while I jogged toward the back of the house. This time, I called Malachi. What was taking him so long? It rang until it went to voice mail. I called Henry. Same thing. I almost called Jim but then realized that even if he picked up, he either couldn’t or wouldn’t help.
I had a choice. I could try to get the boy out now, or I could go all the way back to the shelter and try to round up my Guards, who seemed unable to operate their cell phones. I could also call the police, but all that would do was clear out the Mazikin, who would be free to find a new home. We couldn’t exactly mow them down in front of the authorities. What we needed was for the Mazikin to stay put so that we could burn this place to the ground with them inside. The last people we wanted paying attention were the cops.
The boy screamed again, and my decision was made.
The Mazikin had said his brothers and sisters were sleeping “up there.” Since he was on the first floor, he must have meant they were on the upper floors. Maybe I could get in there and free the boy without alerting them to my presence. Maybe by the time I had, Malachi would have arrived.
I texted Tegan: Tell Malachi to check his phone. Then I wiggled through a broken window at the rear of the house and let myself into the basement, my knife out and ready. The stale air reeked of mildew. I went over to the basement door and unlocked it, giving myself a quick escape route.
The stairs to the first floor were rickety but passable, and my boots made no sound as I inched my way up. The door at the top of the steps was hanging open, and I kept low as I poked my head out, taking in the dim hallway, lit only by fingers of light from the few windows not covered with boards. The silence was broken only by the muffled sobs of the boy, and I stayed close to the wall as I passed by a living room jam-packed with ugly couches and ripped cushions, their fluffy guts exposed. Discarded clothes lay in piles along the edges of the room. Someone had barfed all over the carpet, and the stench almost overpowered the scent of incense and mildew.
I froze when I heard clonking footsteps on the stairs to the second floor. The ceiling above me creaked, and then came soft, hooting laughter. Maybe the Mazikin had gone upstairs to join his brothers and sisters. Luckily for me—it meant I wouldn’t have to find a way to kill him quietly before I rescued the boy. After a few moments, the laughter quieted and the creaking stopped. I continued my slow progression toward the front of the house.
I tiptoed my way up the hall, careful not to touch the walls, some of which dripped with what I was pretty sure were various bodily fluids, viscous and cloudy, drying in raised beads and thin smears. A row of holes had been punched in the plaster, and at the end of the hall lay a clump of brown, curly hair, held together by a black-crusted, shriveled hunk of flesh. I swallowed my disgust and turned the corner to the parlor.
My stomach dropped.
There, illuminated by the light filtering in through tattered lacy curtains from one of the unboarded windows, sat a low, heavy table.
Four pots full of ashy, smoking incense surrounded it. To each of its legs was tied a length of rope. The frayed ends of each rope were stained reddish brown. This was their altar, the place where they tied their victims to perform their possession ritual. “My God,” I muttered.
“Who are you?” someone whispered.
He was close. I blinked, venturing past the stairs that led to the second floor. My knife at the ready, I glanced up to see nothing but darkness at the top of the steps, and so I returned my attention to the parlor. Crouched by the window, his hands tied to the radiator, was the boy, maybe a year or so younger than me. He was trembling, stripped to a filthy, formerly white T-shirt in the cold air of the unheated house. His arms were covered in claw marks, nasty, oozing red gashes. His bright-green eyes, round with terror, peeked out from under matted dark-blond hair. Tears streamed down his cheeks and cut narrow paths through the grime on his face.
A voice from my past echoed in my ears: Ana, a Guard in the dark city, telling me how she knew Nadia hadn’t been possessed by the Mazikin yet: Nadia had been crying.
“I won’t hurt you,” I mouthed, and then put my finger to my lips. I slowly moved forward, conscious of the tiniest groan in the floorboards that would alert the Mazikin upstairs to my presence. Squatting next to the boy, who reeked of piss and sweat, I used my knife to carefully cut through the ropes binding his wrists, which were bloody from his frantic attempts to free himself. The boy fixed his attention on the stairs. We both knew that was where the threat would come from if we were discovered. While I worked, I noticed his arms were covered in more than claw marks … they were covered in track marks, too. Recent bruises and scabs in the crooks of his elbows and down his inner arms. This kid was so young, but he was already an addict.
“They told me they had some good stuff here,” he whispered when he saw me looking at them.
I put my finger to my lips again and shook my head. He could tell me all about it after we were safe. But my insides knotted with anger. So that’s how these Mazikin were recruiting. They were luring messed-up kids into this house … and sending their souls straight to hell.
With one final slice of my knife, the ropes fell away from the boy’s wrists. I caught him as he collapsed onto the spongy, damp carpet. He cradled his raw, torn wrists and sank into me, his shoulders shaking and his face twisted with pain. I wrapped my arms around him, whispering as quietly as I could, “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
As much as I didn’t like being close to most people, I wanted to comfort this kid. I knew how he felt, and I wanted to make him promises. I wanted to tell him that he wasn’t disposable, that better things were ahead, that he wasn’t alone. I could have been just like him if not for Diane. So I held him like the mother he needed in that moment and silently fought my own memories of being broken and having no one to do this for me.
He finally pulled himself together and swiped his hands across his face, smearing tears across his dirty cheeks. He looked up at me from underneath his mop of greasy blond hair, cautious and shy. “My name’s Nick,” he said.
I shook my head, pinched his lips together, and then tried to smile in a reassuring way. He nodded, smiling back even though I was holding his mouth closed. It was the sweetest, most hopeful little smile, and I was determined to earn it. I put my face close to his dirt-rimmed ear. “Can you walk? We need to get you out of this place.”
He nodded, and I pulled him up and held him by the arm as he steadied himself. I pointed toward the hallway that led to the basement. Together, we inched past the staircase, through a few beams of light piercing through the cracks in the boards, revealing the swirling dust in the entryway.
The floor over our heads squeaked. Nick trembled against me. I took his hand, holding it firmly as I tugged him into the hallway. We tiptoed past the kitchen. Past the living room. From above came a growl, followed by a series of grunts. Someone was awake. Another series of snarls and coughs followed. “What are they doing up there?” Nick breathed in my ear.
I was pretty sure the Mazikin were talking to each other, but I was afraid that would scare him, so I shrugged and pulled him to the basement door as the ceiling began to groan and squeak. Someone was moving. Fast. They’d heard us.
We’d just made it onto the rickety basement steps when Nick cried, “Oh, God!” His panic nearly drowned out the sound of heavy footfalls nearby. A harsh curse from the parlor told me we had only seconds before we were caught. Before I could get him in front of me to protect him, Nick shoved me hard, trying to get past. I crashed down the steps, off balance and out of control, smashing my elbow and knee. The side of my head collided with the handrail, and I landed on my stomach on the cold cement floor. Nick was right behind me, so I pushed myself up and lunged for the basement door.
It flew open. A form stood silhouetted in the light, and I recognized the shape immediately. “Malachi,” I gasped.
The next few seconds split apart into disconnected sounds and sights, a moment torn at the seams. Malachi’s dark eyes narrowed. A roar from the top of the steps jolted my heart. The tips of Nick’s fingers brushed my back as we ran toward my Lieutenant.
Malachi’s knives flashed as he drew them from beneath his shirt. His face was fierce as he cocked his arms and let the blades fly. The knives spun past me, lifting a few strands of my hair as they flashed within inches of my temples.
They hit home with the solid thunk of metal penetrating flesh.
I spun around to see Nick fall back, Malachi’s blades buried to the hilt in his chest. Nick’s gaze met mine, pleading, questioning. His fingers spread wide, reaching for me as he sank to the floor. His mouth opened, but he never made a sound.
NINE
BY THE TIME NICK landed, his glazed eyes told me his soul was already headed to its next stop … wherever that was. I stared into them, willing him to come back, to be okay. I had promised him he’d be okay. Without thinking of the danger, I dove for him, disbelief making me stupid and slow.
Malachi jumped forward and wrenched the knives from Nick’s body in time to bury them both in the stomach of an oncoming Mazikin—the guy I’d followed to this house. With a groan, the Mazikin dropped to the ground, curled in on himself. Malachi sheathed the bloody weapons, grabbed my arm, and wrenched me away from Nick. “Go. Henry’s out front with the car.”
I was still glued to Nick’s empty eyes. “But he was—”
“Go!” Malachi shouted in my face, spinning me around and shoving me toward the door.
My eyes stinging, my chest aching, I stumbled out of the house. “We have to—”
“We have to get out of here,” said Malachi as he dragged me toward the street.
I forced myself not to look back as we climbed into the back of the gray sedan. Henry took off immediately, steering competently through the maze of the run-down neighborhood. “That was the nest,” I said between breaths.
“And you went in without waiting for me. For us,” said Malachi in a hard voice. “You failed to follow your own protocol.”
“Those Mazikin will know someone was there,” said Henry. “They might clear out.”
“We can go back tonight and burn it out,” Malachi replied, looking me over. “A daytime assault is inadvisable now, considering we’re one Guard short and our Captain is wounded.”
The injuries from my fall down the steps jabbed splinters of pain up my arm and down my leg. The side of my head throbbed. I buried it in my hands, wishing I could erase Nick’s face from my mind. “We have to be more careful,” I murmured to no one in particular.
“We?” snapped Malachi. He pulled me to him, clearly past caring whether Henry noticed that we were a little more than Captain and Lieutenant. He tipped my chin up and made me look at him. “How badly are you hurt?”
“I fell down the steps. I’ll be okay.” Honestly, I wasn’t sure, but it didn’t seem to matter right now.
“You shouldn’t have gone in alone.” His words barely made it out from between his clenched teeth. “That was reckless.”
A tiny whisper of anger coiled in my belly, but I tried to keep my voice calm. “I texted you. Then called you.”
His cheeks darkened. “I didn’t hear the ring. The shelter was too loud. Tegan felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and she alerted me. That was my mistake. But it doesn’t excuse yours.”
I swallowed, but it did nothing to remove the lump in my throat. “There was a kid in there, Malachi. They were hurting him.”
Malachi shook his head. “They don’t hurt their recruits. Not unless—”
“This isn’t like the dark city where their prisoners are passive and cooperative! The kid wouldn’t be quiet, and he was trying to escape. They’d scratched him.” Tears burned my eyes. “I saw a chance to get him out. I couldn’t leave him there.”
Confusion softened Malachi’s steely glare as Henry called out, “You freed a prisoner? Where is he now?”
I have no idea. I bit my lip as a tear leaked from the corner of my eye. Malachi cupped my face in his hands, and I shuddered as I noticed a smear of blood on his fingers. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. “Is he still trapped in there?”
I shook my head, the dread suffocating me. Malachi searched my expression for clues. “Did he escape before I arrived?”
I shook my head again. “He was right behind me.”
Malachi went utterly still as the color drained from his face. “No. No, that was a Mazikin,” he stammered. “He was chasing you—trying—he was trying to grab you. I had to … to protect you.”
“You did,” I choked out. “The other man was a Mazikin.”
“But the boy—”
“Wasn’t.”
Malachi’s hands shook as they fell away from me. He stared down at them and finally seemed to notice the blood on his fingers. “Are you sure?” he whispered.
Before I had a chance to respond, he was already wiping his bloody hands on his pants with desperate movements. But the smears had dried, so he started to rub them fiercely and scrape at them with his short, blunt fingernails. In seconds, his skin was red from the friction, and I reached over to stop him. He ripped his hands away from me and folded them beneath his arms. I sat back, completely at a loss. He looked like he was about to explode, and I had no idea how to defuse this kind of bomb. We lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.
As Henry got onto the highway, I realized I’d forgotten all about Tegan. I reached for my phone so that I could text her. But it wasn’t in my pocket. I patted myself down and realized that, somewhere along the line, I’d dropped not only the phone, but also my knife. Sucking in a breath, I touched Malachi’s arm. “Can I borrow your phone?”
He dropped it into my hand without looking at me. Pretending to be Malachi, I texted Tegan, telling her he’d found me and asking her if she could get a ride home from Ian. I got an answer immediately:
Where the hell did Lela go?!
So I responded: Had to deal with something
Tell her shes on my shitlist
I sighed. If you insist
I nudged Malachi’s arm. He quietly took the phone back and tucked it into his pocket; then he returned to rubbing at his skin. The blood had fallen away in dry flecks, but his hands were raw. I sat very still and watched my Lieutenant, who I ached for … who’d just killed a boy. An innocent one. One I’d promised to save.
Sorrow swelled in my chest, crushing me from the inside out, filling my lungs and lodging in my throat. Was Nick in the Countryside now? Or had he gone somewhere like the Blinding City? Jim had said it was a place for addicts. But Nick had seemed so young. So in need of gentleness and mercy. I wanted to believe that’s what he would get, but I’d seen enough to know it might not turn out that way. It made me want to scream with grief, even though I’d only known him for a few minutes. It had been long enough to feel him tremble in my arms, to see how hurt he was, and to have his hopeful, shy smile burned into my memory.
He was the reason we had to succeed against the Mazikin. They were taking the homeless, the street kids, the ones no one noticed or cared about. They were using people who had already suffered so much, and they were condemning them to hell.
“Henry,” I said, “I need you to drop us off at the Station, and then go back to the nest and watch it. If they try to clear out, you have to let us know. We’ll hit it tonight, but you’re right—they could move before then if they know we’re after them.” And considering how we’d left two corpses in the basement—along with my phone and my knife—it seemed like a distinct possibility. Especially if that female Mazikin had reported to Sil that we chased her last night. Like an idiot, Jim had actually asked her if she was a Mazikin. Which meant that at this point, they probably knew that the Guards of the Shadowlands had followed them to the land of the living.
“I can go with Henry,” Malachi said as he stared at his hands. He’d stopped rubbing them, but was now grasping his knees so tightly that his knuckles had turned as pale as his face.
“No, you can’t,” I replied. It was the easiest decision I’d made all day.
Malachi closed his eyes. The sorrow inside of me expanded, and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching for him. I knew we’d have to deal with this, have to talk about what he had done, have to make sure it didn’t ever happen again. But Malachi was obviously devastated, and seeing him this way hurt me almost as much as Nick’s death. My fingers skimmed along his brow, an offer of warmth, of myself. Not as his Captain, but as his girlfriend.
Henry pulled into the driveway of the Guard house. “Do you need a minute before I leave?” he asked, watching in the rearview mirror as I waited for Malachi to lean into me like he sometimes did, to seek more from me like I knew he needed.
“Yes,” I said at the same time that Malachi said, “No,” and then flung open the car door and bolted. My hand was still hovering where his head had been when he disappeared into the house.
I swallowed, my throat aching. “Henry, do you have what you need? You understand what I want you to do?”
He nodded, regarding me in the mirror.
“All right. See you later, then. Be careful.”
I got out of the car and trudged into the Guard house. It was slowgoing because every step sent crunching, vicious pain from my ankle to my knee. Clinging to the railing, I climbed the stairs to the second floor and heard the shower already running. By the time I got to the top, steam was billowing out from under the door of the bathroom. I rested my head against the wall and stared at the swirling cloud. Malachi was trying to wash himself clean. I’d done that a few times before. Maybe more than a few times. I knew how it felt to sit under scalding water and wish it were enough.
Knowing I needed to give him time, I carefully descended the steps.
And found Jim sitting in the parlor. Like he was waiting for me to find him there. His shirt was ripped, and his blond hair was a mess, but he looked sober enough as he watched me sink into the nearest chair.
I rested my elbows on my knees and let my head hang. Every part of me hurt. “So. You decided to come back.”
“Raphael found me and brought me in a little while ago. He said I needed to decide what I was going to do and to let you know.”
“And what are you deciding?”
“Whether I’m going to stay.”
I raised my head. “And?”
Jim’s face twisted with pain. “I’m not … I’m not a very good Guard.”
No kidding. “Then why did you get assigned to this field unit?” I asked, working hard to keep my voice gentle rather than accusatory. “Did you mess up or something? Is this, like, a second chance?”
“More like a last chance,” he said, rising abruptly to pace.
“What do you mean?”
“It was here or the Wasteland,” he mumbled.
Thinking of how Henry described the place, I said, “Are you telling me that if you choose not to be part of this field unit, the Wasteland is your alternative? Dude, why would you quit if that’s where you’d go?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and held onto his biceps. “Because I realized Henry was right last night. You guys are depending on me. And that …” He set his shoulders and turned to me. “I’m not good at keeping my Guard partners alive.”
I stared up into his deep-blue eyes and saw the pain there. The guilt. The regret. “Tell me?”
He grimaced and shook his head.
“Consider that an order.”
He closed his eyes. “His name was Bomani. He’s dead because of me. That’s why I’m here.”
I waited to speak until he was looking at me again. “So maybe this is your chance to redeem yourself.”
“I don’t deserve a chance,” he blurted. “You really don’t understand. Bomani was a good Guard. A great one. He was about to be released into the Countryside. He’d gotten rid of all his possessions and lived on simple rations, bread and water and nothing else. In the Blinding City, where everyone’s addicted to something, where everyone’s trying to get stuff so that they can have more than everyone else, where everyone’s chasing a high, that’s the sign you’re ready to get out. We all knew Bomani was about to go.
“And I … I hated him. He was always in my way. Always trying to stop me from going out, from getting things I wanted.” He started to pace again, like a caged animal. “One night, I got in over my head. I snuck out of the Station to meet up with a girl, and it turned out to be a setup. I thought she could give me what I wanted, but it turned out she and her gang wanted something from me. Like the patrol schedules and routes of the Guards, so they could take us out one by one, keep us from interfering with their plans or whatever.” He bowed his head and chuckled, a choked, sad sound. “Bomani was too clever for his own good. He tracked me to the apartment and tried to get me out. But I knew … I knew he would tell my Captain that I’d sneaked out, and then I’d be punished. That they’d lock me in the Quiet Room, this tiny cell with nothing in it, where I’d be alone with—with—just … me.” He shuddered, and suddenly his crazed fear at the mention of a holding cell the night before made a lot more sense.
He rubbed a hand over his face. “It shouldn’t have mattered. It was what I deserved anyway. But I was so selfish, and when they attacked Bomani …” He trailed off, and then met my stare. “I let them kill him. That’s why I’m here, Captain.” He swiped his sleeve over his eyes. “Happy now?”
I stared at him, somehow knowing everything rode on my reaction to this horrible revelation. He’d stood by and let another Guard die, which made me feel sick. But I remembered what Malachi had said about the importance of forgiving Henry for his past and believing in him now. And hearing the agony in Jim’s voice … I knew I needed to at least try. “Jim, I need you to tell me the truth, not what you think I want to hear, okay? No bullshit.”
He shot me a wary look.
“If you could do it over again—knowing you’d be punished—”
“In a heartbeat,” he whispered. “I relive it every night, every day. I’d stop them. I’d let them kill me if that’s what it took.”
“Then take this chance, Jim. Stay sober. Follow orders. Help us keep more people from dying. You were chosen for this mission for a reason. I have to believe that. I don’t think the Judge makes decisions randomly, and this is no exception. Which means we need you, or we’re going to lose.”
He hadn’t looked away. In fact, he was staring at me with this desperate look in his eye. “But what if I—”
“We all make mistakes. And some of them are really bad,” I said in a husky voice, hearing the shower switch off upstairs. “But that doesn’t mean we’re allowed to use those mistakes as excuses. In fact, doing that makes them even worse. If you want to honor Bomani, then you need to do your job here on Earth. If you want his death to mean nothing, then go to the Wasteland. It’s up to you.”
He sat down quickly like he had no more energy to stand. “You actually want me to stay?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. You could have gotten us both into a lot of trouble last night. And I’m pretty sure you tipped off the Mazikin that we’re here, hunting them. But like I said, I have to believe you’re here for a reason. Otherwise, the Judge would have sent you straight to the Wasteland, right? Why give you a choice at all?”
He frowned.
From upstairs, I heard the sound of Malachi’s door closing. I sighed. “If you’re willing to do this job, I’m willing to give you a chance, but expect your leash to be short. Let me know what you decide. I have to go upstairs and talk to the Lieutenant.”
As I limped from the room, I could have sworn I heard Jim whisper, “Thank you.”