Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles #3)

Three

 

Ava

 

I wake a few hours later when a feather tickles my nose and I sneeze.

 

“Bless you,” Peter says, handing me a tissue. Oh thank God, he's still here. “I kept my promise.” He doesn't smile, but he doesn't have to. It's enough that he's here.

 

“I see that.” I also see that it's time for me to get up. My head is groggy and slow to work, as if it's been stuffed with something squishy.

 

“I can't believe I slept that long,” I say, yawning. My body feels heavy, but not as painful as it did last night. I do get a little twinge when I turn my head from the wound on my neck.

 

“You were tired,” Peter says.

 

“You're hiding something from me, which isn't unusual. You might as well tell me. You know I don't like secrets.” I feel the lie slip away. Or at least this one.

 

“I gave you sleeping medication instead of aspirin,” he said without hesitation. Wow, that was easy. Most of the time, it's like pulling teeth to get him to admit he's hiding something. That worries me because it means he's hiding something even bigger. God help us.

 

“You sneaky boy,” I say. I'm not mad about him drugging me. I probably should be, but it is such a small thing, and I do feel somewhat better. Less like I've been hit by a truck and more like I've had a rough weekend with lots of alcohol consumption, which I hadn't done in a while.

 

I'm surprised my mother hasn't already come up to see if I'm awake. It's pretty late.

 

“Your mother thought about knocking, but she went back downstairs. She is a very perceptive woman,” he says as if he read my mind. He probably did.

 

“Yeah, she is,” I say, turning my head. I have an awful crick in my neck, but I don't want to move from my present position.

 

“Your phone has been 'blowing up,' as Texas says.” Peter hands me my phone and I see that I have a bazillion messages from her. I hit call under her number.

 

“Oh my God, you're alive,” she says, picking up after one ring.

 

“So are you. What happened?”

 

“It was batshit crazy, Ava. Like, I don't even know. We need to meet so we can discuss this. Viktor's here. Don't worry; he's not going to do anything.” The last part she says a little breathless. Oh, dear. If it was anyone but Viktor, I wouldn't trust them, but Peter trusts him, and there seems to be some sort of master plan for all this crazy. I don't ask her about the new bind and the fact that now Viktor has to kill me. It might put a kink in our friendship.

 

“My parents are at the store today. Want to come over? I really, really need to talk to you,” she says.

 

“I really need to talk to you, too.” About Thing Three and potentially Four. God, this is getting complicated. How many Things could one person take? There is Thing One, my mother's terminal cancer diagnosis, Thing Two, which is Peter, and then the additional Thing Two-and-a-half, the Claiming. More than enough for one person.

 

“Come over as soon as you can. Bring your noctalis,” she says.

 

“Will do,” I say and hang up.

 

“Looks like we have a double date. I'm going to take a shower. You just... don't go anywhere.” I put my hands up as if he's a dog I'm asking to sit and stay.

 

“I would not,” he says, brushing my shoulder as I get up.

 

I so, so do not want to be away from him, even if I'm in the next room. I hold onto the key to the trunk that sits at the end of my bed. It’s the only thing of his I can hold onto right now.

 

I glance at my neck in the mirror, slowly peeling back the gauze. I have a Peter bite. Mom is definitely going to notice. I can't wear the scarf again or else cause everyone to be suspicious. I'd told her about Peter being a noctalis. She knew about the first time when he strangled me and she knew that he craved my blood, but the mark of his teeth on my neck is shocking, even to me. Did he really need to be that dramatic?

 

Surprisingly, it doesn't really hurt. I toss the gauze, which is stained a rusty red from my blood, and undress the rest of the way. My clothes are absolutely filthy. I'll have to sneak my laundry in when Mom isn't looking.

 

“Come talk to me through the door,” I say as I turn the shower on. Even a few seconds away from him is too much. He's going to be attached to my hip from now on.

 

“How are you feeling?” he says.

 

“I've been worse.” Yesterday was much worse, I think while shampooing my hair and trying to keep the bite away from the hot water and soap.

 

Images of last night run through my mind. The one that sticks out more than any other was Peter's face as he came toward me. In that second, I thought he was going to do it. To kill me. He didn't, but I thought he would. I'm never going to tell him about that. I don't want him to know I was scared of him that way. You couldn't be scared of someone you truly loved, could you?

 

The hot water does little to wash away my guilt. I can't believe I lost faith in him.

 

“Talk about something stupid,” I say.

 

He's been quiet. Probably listening to my thoughts or something.

 

“I am not sure what you consider stupid.”

 

“Oh come on, anything that doesn't have to do with blood or binds or promising things or your mother.” Anything other than that.

 

“How about we talk about books?” God, I love him.

 

“Did you ever finish 1984?” I meant to ask him that a long time ago. In addition to current bestsellers, I've been putting him through the classics, too. He'd gone through most of them in his existence, but that's one he missed somehow. I don't know how, but there you have it.

 

“Yes, it was beautiful and tragic all at once,” he says.

 

“Exactly.”

 

I finish my shower as we talk about the book. I knew it was one he would like. Dark and raw and real. To be honest, that book scares the bejeezus out of me because it seems like something that could actually happen. Hell, I'm in love with an angel vampire. Totalitarian governments aren’t that far-fetched.

 

Damn. I realize I forgot to grab some clothes before I stripped down. Well, there is no way I'm putting the dirty clothes back on. Weighing my options, I decide to just wear my towel. It's less embarrassing than Peter picking out my underwear. Not that I'm ashamed of it or anything... I just don't want to deal with things like that just yet. I just got him back. Putting the moves on him seems a little weird.

 

“I'm coming out in just a towel. Just to, you know, warn you.” I didn't know what he'd think, but I can feel something start to rage in him and in me as soon as I say it. There it is again, like a black satin ribbon that wraps around us, dancing and teasing.

 

Desire.

 

Really? We've just been through hell, almost lost each other, and now we want to be all sexy? Really?

 

I push the door open slowly, hoping he's not going to tackle me or something equally crazy and also kind of hoping he will.

 

There he is, waiting for me. My own version of the perfect man. The thing is that Peter isn't perfect. He's far from it, but I love him anyway. I love him from the tips of his wings, to his mismatched eyes to his hair that's always in his face. I even love his dirty feet. I love him even though I thought he was going to kill me last night.

 

He looks at me as if he doesn't know what to say. The steam from the shower pours out of the bathroom, and my hair drips down my back. Neither of us can move.

 

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. In my human life or in this one.” Peter finally steps forward, putting one hand on my face. He leans in, kissing my shoulder. “I adore the way you smell.” I should tell him to stop, that we have more important things to worry about, but I can't seem to find the air to even breathe, let alone speak.

 

His nose brushes back and forth, as if he's savoring me. I stay still, shaking just a little because I want to kiss him so badly. Yeah, he adores me now that I'm clean. He always smells good. I don't know how that is, must be a noctalis thing. I swallow as his tongue licks moisture from my skin. It doesn’t escape my notice that it would be really easy for the towel just to slip off. My hands are inches away from the button on his jeans. I could just...

 

“Ava. You are making this difficult for me. You should put some clothes on,” Peter says, a tiny growl in his voice. Oh, hell.

 

He pushes away from me, and it's almost like being slapped. I know he has to, I know he should, but still. I want him so much that it hurts anyway.

 

“How can you want me so badly? You make it nearly impossible to stop,” he says, putting his hands behind his back and stepping away. I've left a damp patch on the floor, but I don't care.

 

“Close your eyes while I get dressed if it bothers you.” I don't mean to snap, but I'm getting irritable with this Peter. The Peter who says no. I just want him to say yes, even if it's wrong. Even if this is the worst possible time ever to make out and do other things.

 

I know it's dangerous, being physical with him. I worry every moment that he's going to crumble to ash in my arms, because he will if he starts loving me, but what if he never does? What if I live my whole life as his Claimed and nothing ever happens? Wouldn't we always wonder?

 

Maybe the bind is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe Peter can't love me like that while he loves Di. It's a different kind of love he has for her. Maybe he's not capable of the romantic kind. If we knew for sure, then I wouldn't worry so much. It seems insane that he's been with me this long and it hasn't happened. I wish Di had been more specific in her binding promises. I'm not sure if I can control myself much longer from jumping his bones. They're such sexy bones.

 

“I will take a shower while you get dressed,” he says, walking past me and shutting the bathroom door.

 

I get a flash of anger from him and hope he doesn't break anything. I wait for a second, just in case. The water turns on and his energy calms. Phew. I don't want to be around angry Peter unless that anger is directed at Di.

 

I put on my most comfortable jeans and a soft t-shirt. It's warm enough to wear sandals, so I put my flip-flops on.

 

“You might want to turn your back as well, Ava. I am not dressed,” Peter says behind me. Crap, I forgot all about his clothes, too. They're buried in the bottom of my dresser in the back so Mom doesn't find them if she goes to put laundry away.

 

“Okay, they're closed,” I say.

 

He spots my lie right away. “Are they?”

 

No, they aren't. I sigh and close them. He's too good. I hear him walk across the carpet and lean down to pick out clothes. The towel drops and my breath catches in my throat. Sweet Jesus. I've never seen Peter naked, but not because I don't want to. He just seems oddly modest for someone who's immortal. The rest of them don’t seem to have the same qualms, especially Cal. I shiver when I think of his name.

 

His boxers slide over his skin with the most delicious sound. I'm only able to hear it because of the increased senses I acquired when he Claimed me. I was usually glad for the increased hearing, but this is sweet torture, and I have to bite my lip and try really hard not to open my eyes.

 

“Are you all modest? I really don't feel like you are, seeing as how little value you put on clothes. Well, all of you except Cal.” The bastard.

 

“I am not modest with anyone but you, Ava,” he says as he pulls his pants on. “It is only self-preservation. You make me want to do so many things that I do not think you are ready for. That I do not think I am ready for.”

 

“You mean sex?” There, I said it. We need to get that out in the open. “Is it because of the bind?”

 

“Partially,” he says, putting his shirt over his head. “I do not think it is a good idea to be involved... that way when there are so many complications.”

 

“But there will always be complications. This whole relationship is a complication.” My eyes are still closed, but I know he's dressed so I open them. Even without the wings, he's a magnificent specimen.

 

“I know. I just don't think now is the right time.”

 

“You don't think it's ever the right time for anything,” I say, trying not to pout. I'm whining, but I can't seem to help myself. If he wasn't so damn good-looking things would be so much easier.

 

“I know,” he says, walking over and kissing my forehead. “That's why I'm the one who has to say no.”

 

I sigh heavily and cross my eyes at him. I hope he's going to smile and kiss my lips, but he doesn't.

 

“Your mother is about to come up. I will be on the roof,” he says, and without further ado, is out the window. Seconds later my mother pokes her head in the door. She's sans wig today, just a scarf on her head. She must be gardening, seeing as how her knees are covered in dirt.

 

“Hey, ma fleur, you're sleeping late again. You feel okay?”

 

“Yeah, I'm good,” I say, keeping my head turned away from her so she can't see the bite on my neck. Peter was good enough to do it low, almost where my neck meets my shoulder. Still, I'm going to have to find a way to hide it. Or grow a pair and tell her, but that's going to require a long explanation I'm not sure I'm ready to give.

 

“You want some pancakes?”

 

“Thanks, but Tex and I are going out. Is that okay?” I feel horrible for turning down her pancakes, but I have to talk to Tex. She's the only one who will give the play-by-play of last night that I need. I also need to talk to Viktor.

 

“Oh, that sounds like fun. I finally got in touch with the girls, and they're coming over this afternoon.” I almost wrench my head around to meet her eyes, but I don't.

 

“You sure?”

 

She nods. “Absolutely.”

 

“Do you want me to leave?”

 

“No, baby, you don't have to leave. You can stay if you want. It's your house and I'm sure they would love to see you.”

 

I haven't seen her friends in a long time. Before her terminal cancer diagnosis, I saw them nearly every week for some sort of get-together so they could complain about the school board, kids, stretch marks, and other mom things. Mom has other things on her mind now.

 

I'm not sure if I want to be around today, but I know Mom will need the support. Dad will be no help and he'll probably hide in his office like he usually does when they get together. What is it about men and groups of women? It's like they're allergic to them or there's too much estrogen for them to take or something.

 

“Okay, well I'll be home later. You making them lunch?” I ask.

 

“I thought I'd do pasta salad. You want to help?”

 

I grin at her. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do.”

 

“Oh, good. I don't want to infringe on your friend time.” It isn't really friend time, but I can't tell her that. She took the Peter-being-immortal Thing Two and Two-and-a-half well, but I don't think she'll take this well. Yay for Things Three and Four.

 

“You could never do that,” I say. I want to get up and hug her, so I pull my wet hair over my neck.

 

“You sure you're okay?” she says, studying my face.

 

“Yeah, just tired.”

 

“Did you stay up late reading again?”

 

“Uh huh.” God, I'm a bad liar. I can tell from her tone that she knows I'm lying, but doesn't know exactly what I've been up to.

 

“Don't feel like you have to rush back. Have fun with Tex. Tell her I miss seeing her.” Yeah, I miss having Tex over, too. Maybe it's time to pull the trigger and tell her about Mom.

 

I flop back on my pillow when she leaves.

 

“Peter, why does this have to suck so much?” My ironic use of the word suck is lost on me until a few seconds after I say it. He slips back through the window and comes to sit next to me on my bed.

 

“I am sorry you have so many burdens. I wish I could take them from you.” He starts rubbing my feet. Yup, he's perfect.

 

“Yeah, me too.” I sigh again. “What am I going to do about this?” I gesture to my neck.

 

“I am not sure. I wish I could heal it for you.”

 

“Yeah that would be nice. That should be part of the Claiming package. Instant healing, now for only three easy payments of nine dollars and ninety-nine cents.”

 

“I am sorry. I did not know another way to manage it.”

 

“I'm not mad at you, so stop being like that,” I say. My fingers find the wound, poking at it. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Maybe I'm getting desensitized. That would be kind of nice, being desensitized to pain.

 

“I guess it's time for the scarf again.” I really should buy another one. The one I have is cute, a dark blue paisley, but I need something else.

 

“I went back to the thrift store and found something for you,” he says, going to his drawer. I didn't know he did that. When had that happened? “I may have gone after hours, but I left money in the till.”

 

He pulls out a bag from the store and hands it to me. It's the first real present he's gotten for me. I take something out of the bag. It's a beautiful green scarf in a material so soft and shiny that I have to fight the urge to rub it against my face.

 

“You seem to really have a thing for green,” I say, wrapping it around my neck and trying to figure out the best way to tie it so it hides my bite without making me look like I'm hiding something. I twitch it into place.

 

“How does it look?”

 

“Perfect.”

 

I go to the mirror in my bathroom and look at it. The scarf is gorgeous, and it almost matches my eyes. That sneaky Peter.

 

“Thank you,” I say, walking toward him with the intent to kiss him. He moves away at the last minute.

 

“We should go,” he says. I've been denied twice in one day. My ego is bruised, but I'm not going to show him that.

 

I nod instead and go downstairs, saying good-bye to Mom as I grab my keys. Dad is MIA, which is good. I dash out before Mom can comment on the scarf. Actually, I have a good reason for wearing it if I tell her that Peter gave it to me. Brilliant.

 

He meets me at the end of the driveway and gets in the car without a word. Mom is still unaware that he spends the night in my bedroom. I'm not ready to broach that conversation, either. So many secrets.

 

The drive to Tex's house is mostly silent.

 

“Aren't you worried?” I finally say, because I can't stand it anymore.

 

“About what?”

 

“The bind that Viktor made to avenge Ivan. Aren't you worried?” Has he forgotten?

 

He blinks. “Not particularly. He is my brother. We will find a way out of this.”

 

“No offense, I'm glad you got us out of there, but undoing a promise with another promise seems kind of silly.” Actually, it sounds like the dumbest thing ever, but they're supposed to be the brilliant immortals.

 

“We did what we could at the time. We will work it out.”

 

“I wish I had your confidence,” I say. How can he be so sure? He was sure of Cal and look how that turned out.

 

“So do I.” Grr.

 

The only car in Tex's driveway is hers, so I feel comfortable going inside. Still, I have this vision of Viktor waiting for us with a chainsaw like we're in some horror movie. That's ridiculous because I'm pretty sure a chainsaw wouldn't stand a chance against Peter.

 

“You're alive!” A pair of arms throws themselves around me, and my face is pressed to Tex's chest as soon as I step in the door. Hello, boobs.

 

“Can't breathe,” I manage to get out.

 

She pulls back. Her eyes are wide and excited behind her purple glasses. Wait a second... There is something different about her. Something, more? It's like she got a haircut, only times a million.

 

“What happened to you? You look...” I can't put my finger on it.

 

“Uh, yeah, that's what we want to talk to you about,” she says, holding her hand out behind her, as if she's reaching for something. Or someone. Viktor emerges from the living room and takes it. Well, that's a development.

 

“So you guys are like, together?”

 

“More than that,” Tex says, looking back at him with a look I've never seen on her face. It isn't that flirty look or the sexy face she tries to make. It's pure and she looks happy. Really, really happy. What the... I look at her face and back at his.

 

“What did you do?”

 

Tex nods at Viktor, giving him permission. I think I know what's coming, but this can't be happening.

 

“I Claimed her,” he says.

 

“Shut the front door!” I stare at Peter. Everything had gone to hell in a handbasket while I’d been sleeping.

 

Peter

 

Ava is as shocked by Viktor Claiming Texas as I thought she would be. We all go to the living room where just the day before I told them my deep secret about how I killed Josie and how Cal saved me. Now we are sharing more secrets.

 

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Ava yells at both Texas and Viktor, nearly leaping off the couch. I have to hold her hand so she won't. Her face is red and pinched, and her anger flows into me like fire.

 

“Why are you yelling, you hypocrite! I guess it's fine for you, but not fine for anyone else? Why are you so damn special, Ava?” Texas yells back. They are both waving their arms and glaring at each other.

 

We all hear the footsteps at the top of the stairs. Texas' brother is here, trying to eavesdrop. Little does he know that all of us can hear him doing it.

 

Texas turns her head and yells up the stairs. “Coby, we are having adult time. Now get back in your room and put your headphones on before I break them and then cut your hair while you're sleeping.”

 

Coby mutters a curse at Texas under his breath, but goes back to his room and shuts the door. Seconds later, loud music blares out of his headphones and into his ears.

 

“I don't understand what the big deal is,” Texas says.

 

Ava is about to scream again, but suppresses it. I give her hand a squeeze. She is not alone. She takes a breath and thinks before she speaks again.

 

“You don't know what you're getting yourself into. It's like...” She struggles to find the words. “It's like letting someone else live inside of you. Get inside your head and share the most intimate parts of you. Sometimes Peter can read my mind. Sometimes I get sick when he doesn't have enough blood. We can't even be one room away for very long. You saw the pain that it caused last night and you still did it. What were you thinking?”

 

Texas hesitates for a moment, looking at Viktor.

 

“We thought that it was the best decision for the moment. She is involved in our world now and needs to be protected,” he says. Ava starts to say something else, but he cuts her off. “I will not hurt her, just as Peter has not hurt you. I did not take this lightly, but I knew that she would be a target after Cal and Di found out about her. I had to protect her.”

 

“Thank you,” Texas says, looking at her hands in her lap. They are sitting close, but not touching. The energy between them crackles like lightning. Viktor does not know what he is in for with her. Or perhaps he does and chooses it anyway.

 

Adele was like that. Fiery, passionate and impulsive. That is probably what attracted him in the first place. That fire in her eyes. They also look very alike.

 

Those eyes go back to his face. I look at Ava, and she gazes at me. She's still thinking angry thoughts, and I get snippets of them from her, mostly with curse words. A tiny part of her, probably a part she doesn't even know exists, is relieved that she has someone to share this with. She is not alone.

 

“It was so weird at first,” Texas says. “It was like I couldn't control what I was thinking. I just felt things I didn't think were my feelings. That doesn't make any sense.” She blushes, fiddling with her hands.

 

“No, it does. How's your vision and hearing?” Ava asks.

 

“Um, amazing? You didn't tell me about that part.” Texas smiles.

 

Ava relaxes a little, but her anger is still simmering, pushed aside for now so she can share her experiences with her friend. Their bond is strong. Much like my bond with Viktor.

 

Ava snaps her attention from Texas to Viktor. “What are you getting out of this, Viktor? Why did you do it?” Her tone is sharp again.

 

“Because it needed to be done.”

 

Ava nods, taking his words for their value.

 

“You're a good person, you know?” Viktor says.

 

“Thank you,” Ava says.

 

“So, what now?” Texas says, shifting so she's closer to Viktor.

 

“God, I don't know,” Ava says, rubbing her eyes. Even with all the sleep she got, she's still exhausted. I wish she didn't have to go to school the next day. I cannot keep her from her human life, as long as she is human. “We have got to find a way to break these binds. If we can do that, then we'll be set. Except we'll still have to get rid of Di. She's never going to stop trying to find a way to get me. And now we have to worry about Cal.” I want to brush the dark circles under her eyes away.

 

“It's too bad we couldn't just stake you guys like real vampires. That would have solved a lot of our problems,” Texas says.

 

“Right?” Ava says.

 

Texas snaps her fingers. “I would have been on that Di like white on rice. But then, I probably would have staked you that first night Ava brought you to that party, Peter. I'm sorry I was so weird, but you weren't exactly what I expected. You weren't, either.” She directs the last part at Viktor.

 

“I did not expect you, either,” he says. They share a private moment, and I wonder if that is what I look like with Ava or what I could look like, if not for the bind. Viktor is free to feel however he wants about her. I am not.

 

“I should be totally pissed at you right now. You Claimed my best friend and you promised to take my life,” Ava says.

 

“Hey, it's not his fault. He was just trying to help,” Texas snaps.

 

Ava holds up her hand to make her stop. “But I'm your friend, and you're my boyfriend's brother. So I'm going to let it go for now.” Ava's speech is met with silence. She glances at me and shrugs.

 

“Sooo, someone needs to give me the full story of what went down. I was a little out of it,” Ava says, laughing a little.

 

I put my arm around her back and she leans into me.

 

Texas glances at Viktor before she tells her version of the story, which is mostly accurate. I interject a few times to explain something further. Texas is still ignorant of the power of the binds.

 

“So if you promise something, you'll die if you don't do it? Why did you promise to avenge that guy's death in a year, you idiot?” Texas smacks him on the shoulder, but flinches back when her hand meets it. “Ouch. I can't even hit you,” she whines.

 

“It was the only way. The only thing she would accept at the time. We will find a way in less than a year. A year is a long time,” Viktor says. It isn't, but he tells a small lie to assuage her.

 

“How old are you?” Texas asks, turning to face him.

 

“I don't remember,” he says.

 

“Exactly,” she says, putting her finger in his face. “A year is like nothing for you. Don't you pull that crap with me, Viktor Belikov. I know my dates.” He told her his last name. That is not something he shares lightly. This relationship is more serious than I thought.

 

“Wow, you know his last name?” Ava says.

 

“I know a lot of things,” Texas says. “So, as I said, don't you pull that crap with me.” She pokes him in the chest.

 

“I will try not to.”

 

“Good,” she says, smiling at him.

 

Ava waves her hands. “Hello? We still need to come up with a plan, and waiting around isn't an option. Didn't you say you had some other noctali you knew who could help? Or who might know how to undo binds? That won't want to kill me?”

 

“A few,” Viktor says. “I have some friends overseas who might know things.”

 

“Really?” Texas claps her hands and bounces on the couch. “How would we get there?”

 

“They will come to us,” he says, watching her.

 

“That sounds like a bad idea,” Ava says, shaking her head.

 

“You can trust them,” Viktor says.

 

“I don't even know if I can trust you,” she says in a small voice. I sense she is feeling that way, but don't want to say anything.

 

“Viktor volunteered to make the bind when I first asked him for help. I didn't ask him to do it, but we agreed that when it was needed, he would do it for me. For us.”

 

“What?!” Ava yells, getting up. “So everyone just thinks it's okay to keep these things from me? That it's okay to make plans without me? Screw you. Screw all of you.” She storms out of the house and I let her go. Her car door slams.

 

Texas moves to go after her, but Viktor holds her back.

 

“Let her have a moment,” he says.

 

We all wait. I hear her screaming curses in her head.

 

“So, we're just going to sit here?” Texas says.

 

“No, I am giving her space. She needs some space,” I say.

 

I wait until she tugs at our connection. I'm not sure if she's aware that she does it, but that is all I need. I get up and walk at human speed to the car. I tap on the window. She wipes tears from her face before hitting the button to make the window go down. Viktor was able to put in a new mechanism after I tore it off not that long ago.

 

“I'm sorry,” she says, sniffing.

 

I put my face at her level. “Talk to me.”

 

“It's just a lot, you know? Just with everything that happened last night, and now Tex being Claimed and Viktor. I just feel like things keep getting worse instead of getting better. Like we're jinxed. Every time I think things are going to get better, they just get worse. Even if you change me, Viktor is still bound. Why won't you guys stop making binds?”

 

“He did it for you.”

 

She throws up her hands and bangs them on the steering wheel. “That's what makes this suck so much!”

 

“We would all do anything for you.”

 

“I know,” she says, turning her head.

 

I reach out and touch her face. My precious girl.

 

“We have to figure this out as soon as possible. Tell Viktor to get his people here now. I don't possibly see how things can get worse than they already are. Bring it on.” She blows her cheeks out and crosses her eyes.

 

“If that is what you want.”

 

“What I want is you. I don't care how we get there, but I want the end of the story to be 'and they lived happily ever after.' Is that too much to ask?”

 

“For anyone but you, yes. I'll do what I can.”

 

“That's all I ask,” she says, finally smiling.

 

I try out a smile back.

 

“Good job,” she says. She gets out of the car and takes my hand as we walk back into the house.

 

“Are you okay?” Texas asks.

 

“Yeah, just had a little freak out. Carry on.”

 

“You sure?”

 

Ava nods.

 

“Ava, I only made the bind to help you, to help Peter. I would not hurt my brother,” Viktor says.

 

“I know. It was stupid of me to think that you would. I guess I'm not a good judge. I thought Ivan was evil and then he turned out not to be, so what do I know?”

 

“Yeah, what was up with that?” Texas says.

 

“I do not know,” I say. “I thought that his one goal in life was to destroy me for what I did to Josephine, but something changed him. Something happened to him in the past few weeks that changed his outlook. I think that had something to do with you,” I say, looking at Ava.

 

Her green eyes go wide. “Me? What did it have to do with me?”

 

“He fell for you,” I say.

 

“What? You're crazy.”

 

She thinks I'm making a joke.

 

“It is true. The only thing that would have changed his mind about getting rid of you to avenge Josephine would be if he cared for you.” She didn't know him like I did. I spent more time with him than I have with her. I hadn't wanted to see how his feelings had changed for her. Jealousy is a human emotion, but somehow I picked up the ability to feel it acutely.

 

“I thought he was coming to kill me when he showed up,” Ava says. “I couldn't believe you'd called him, of all people — whatever — to help. We talked a lot when we were coming to get you.” She did not tell me that part.

 

“What did you talk about?” I ask.

 

“The best way to survive the zombie apocalypse,” she says with a smile.

 

“What did he think?” Texas says, leaning forward.

 

“He agreed with me that the backward treadmill idea was insane and wouldn't work.” She smirks at Texas, who makes a frustrated sound.

 

“I still say you would have generators. What about solar power?”

 

Ava sighs and rolls her eyes.

 

“I still say you're underestimating the human race's ability to survive the zombie apocalypse,” Texas shoots back.

 

Ava shakes her head back and forth, her hair brushing my arm. “Not this again. Only the strong will survive, Tex. Most people will be too dumb to realize what's going on. We've been over this before.”

 

The conversation evolves into a discussion on the best way to dispose of zombies. Viktor puts in his part, and I add a little. Talking about zombies, something that doesn't exist, is a change from talking about Di, Cal and binds. I watch Ava as she talks. She is so passionate that it oozes out of her. I soak it up, taking it in like a drug.

 

Just as Ava makes the salient point — that if ninety percent of the world became a zombie, and it took an average of three bullets to kill a zombie, you would never be able to make enough bullets — Texas gasps, grabbing her stomach.

 

“Oh God, what is that?” she says, tipping to one side and resting her face on the arm of the couch.

 

“Ask him,” Ava says, pointing at Viktor. Her anger is back as quickly as it left.

 

“It is a reaction to the change. Have you fed?” I say.

 

“No. I was putting it off as long as possible,” Viktor says, putting his hand on Texas' shoulder.

 

“Ow, ow, ow.” Texas curls her feet up on the couch, and Viktor tries to hold her. “I did not sign up for this.”

 

“Just take some. It'll be better after you do. You shouldn't have waited this long. All you men are the same,” Ava says to Viktor, moving to comfort Texas.

 

Texas looks up at him. “Grow a pair,” she says through gritted teeth.

 

“Take it from the wrist. It is easier to hide,” I say. He picks up her right arm and brings it to his mouth.

 

“The left,” Texas says, “I'm right-handed.”

 

Viktor switches to her other arm, turning it back and forth as if to find the best spot. She winces as he bites, but her arm unclenches from around her stomach. I watch Viktor, judging if he is going to be able to stop. His eyes close and he focuses. It reminds me of the feeling, the rush of blood filling my mouth and how it sparkles on my tongue.

 

“That feels really weird,” Texas says.

 

Ava is watching her, but also Viktor, making sure he doesn't take too much. His eyes snap open, and he shoves her arm from his mouth with so much force it bangs into the coffee table.

 

“Ouch!” Texas cradles her arm to her chest. “What did you do that for?”

 

“I had to stop. Otherwise I would have killed you.”

 

Texas examines her wrist, where a tiny bit of blood drips. She wipes it off with her finger and holds it out to him. “Don't waste it,” she says, smiling.

 

Ava rushes to get a bandage to cover the wound. Viktor takes her finger and licks the last of the blood from it.

 

“Good boy,” she says, patting him on the cheek with her other hand.

 

Ava comes back with some gauze and bandages Texas' arm.

 

“That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Too bad we couldn't, like, suck it out and store it or something. Or freeze it! We could make you blood pops.”

 

“Doesn't work that way, Tex,” Ava says, gathering up the remnants of the bandage packaging. “The blood is only good when it's in your body. I don't really understand it, but that's how it works. It's no good once it's left your body.”

 

Texas' eyes go wide and she stares at Viktor. “You know I'm starting my period next week. You're not gonna attack me, are you?”

 

“That is not the kind of blood we desire. So you are safe. You will smell better during those days, but I will not attack you, Tex,” he says.

 

“Good to know, 'cause that's really gross, FYI.”

 

“Yeah, I thought about that, too,” Ava says, squirming in her seat. Humans are so squeamish sometimes with silly things.

 

“It is not something you have to worry about,” Viktor says, glancing at me.

 

“Good to know,” Texas says, glancing at her wrist. “I'm going to need to get some chunky bracelets or a watch or something. How much are you gonna need?”

 

“Not much,” Viktor says, which is what I told Ava.

 

“God, it's like you all use the same playbook,” Ava says, brushing her hand across her neck where the scarf hides her wound.

 

“How's your neck?” Texas asks, noticing.

 

“It's fine, actually. I think I'm getting numb to it or something.” She shrugs.

 

“We should do something,” Texas says, getting up. She wobbles for a moment on her feet and grabs her head. “Whoa, head rush.”

 

“Be careful,” Viktor says, getting up and holding her until she's steady. I see his hands linger on her. He has adjusted to the Claiming well.

 

“I have to pee,” Texas announces when she's stable on her feet.

 

“I'll go with you. Make sure you don't fall in.” Ava takes Texas' arm and leads her down the hall, throwing me a look over her shoulder.

 

Viktor and I wait until the girls are out of hearing range and hear their chatter resume before we speak.

 

“Who will you contact?”

 

“I'll start with Kamir and Rasha and move from there. I have not seen them in about forty years, but that is not unusual for them.”

 

Kamir and Rasha are from India and prefer to stay in seclusion, but they are both at least five-hundred and have made many other noctali. Somehow they became friends with Viktor before I was changed, and they kept in touch via email since then.

 

“Do you think they can be trusted?” I ask.

 

“I would not go to them if I didn't think so. I never trusted Cal, but I trusted you,” Viktor says. The quip would bother me, if I were bothered by such things.

 

“Do you think they will come to us?”

 

“They enjoy travel every fifty years or so. I do not think they have been to Maine before, so that should attract them. They rarely leave their palace.” Viktor told me stories of their sumptuous palace and their many children.

 

The girls are coming back, so we stop talking before they come down the hall. Ava and Texas are laughing, so that is a good sign.

 

“Stop talking about us,” Texas says, sitting back down next to Viktor. “Hey, we were talking and we think we should totally do a human night. Ava told me about when you went to Miller's, and I think it's an awesome idea. We never really got to do our date. Did you have anything in mind?”

 

“Yes. I have not been on a boat in a very long time. I flew when I came here a few weeks ago. Would you like that?” Viktor says.

 

“As long as you call me captain, and I get to wear one of those awesome hats,” Texas responds.

 

“I will find one for you, captain.” He salutes her. She giggles and ducks her head into her shoulder.

 

“Gag me,” Ava whispers.

 

“I heard that,” Texas says, glaring at Ava.

 

“I meant you to,” Ava says, sticking her tongue out at Texas. “We should get back. My mom's doing a thing and she needs some help.” She twists her hands together as she does when she's nervous.

 

“Speaking of your mom, I haven't been over to your house in forever. What's up with that?”

 

Ava cringes and I feel her anxiety. She hasn't told Texas about her mother's illness, but I know she will feel better after she does.

 

“Tell her,” I say.

 

“Shut up,” Ava says, looking down at her hands, spreading her fingers out.

 

“Tell me what? Are you about to tell me the thing that you've been keeping from me that I've been trying to get out of you forever?” Texas exaggerates the word forever, drawing it out.

 

“No,” Ava says, refusing to look up. I take one of her hands. Her stress moves to me, and I want her to get it out so she will stop obsessing about it. I am uncomfortable with her stress.

 

“Yes, it totally is. You'd better tell me right now, or I'll sick my noctalis on you.”

 

“He can't touch me, moron,” Ava says, finally looking up. Her eyes are hard, determined. She takes a deep breath, and I can see the words in her mind before she says them. It takes a few seconds for her to arrange the words in the way she wants them.

 

“My mom is sick. Really sick. She's, um... she's terminal.”

 

Texas' hand flies to cover her mouth. “What?”

 

“She's not going to make it,” Ava says, tears forming in her eyes and spilling onto her cheeks. I want to wipe them away, but all I can do is hold her hand and give her strength.

 

“Oh my God. I can't believe it. I thought she was doing okay.”

 

“She's not.”

 

“Ava,” Texas says, shaking her head. She gets up and gives Ava a hug, pulling her to her feet and wrapping her arms around her. Ava finally breaks, sobbing on Texas' shoulder. Her pain rips through me, but I don't get up to comfort her. This is something she needs to do with Texas.

 

“I'm not mad. I just wish I could have been there for you. I've been so horrible to you, making you go to all those parties and everything. Why didn't you say anything?”

 

“I couldn't. I didn't know how. If I say it out loud, that makes it real, and it can't be real, Tex, it just can't.” She sniffs loudly.

 

“I know, Ave, I know.” Texas rubs her back in soothing circles, rocking her slowly from side to side, as if they are slow dancing. Ava's shoulders shake and her crying fills the room. It is all I can do not to seize her and try to fix it.

 

“Why does this have to happen to me?”

 

“I don't know, honey, I don't know. I don't have answers for you. But I'm here for you, you know?”

 

“Yeah,” Ava says.

 

“Bad things happen to good people sometimes and there isn't a reason for it.”

 

“I'm so angry,” Ava says.

 

“I know.”

 

“Why would God do this to us?”

 

“I don't know, honey, I don't know.” Texas doesn't have answers, but her words have a calming effect on Ava, and her sobs slow to just tears. She wipes her eyes and Texas looks down at the wet patch Ava left on her shirt. “What are friends for? To let you snot and cry all over their brand-new shirts.”

 

“Right,” Ava says, and they both laugh.

 

Viktor watches them, as if he's fascinated. They are rather fascinating. Both of them.