Until Jax

*

“Do you need anything else?” Lilly asks, standing in the open doorway of Jax’s old room with Cash’s arm around her waist.

Placing Hope on the bed, I tuck her in under the covers and press a kiss to the top of her head. After answering a few questions from the police and getting things settled, I knew there was no way I would be able to stay at the house. Not tonight, and probably not for a long time. I couldn’t even force myself to go into the house to get the clothes and stuff we would need to hold us over for a few days, and I don’t know what Jax packed.

“We’re okay, Mom,” Jax tells her, wrapping his arms around her, and his dad gives them another hug, one of the many he’s given them since they found out what happened. I think Lilly and Cash are still in shock. No one besides me knew Jax had recently been in contact with Jules, and I don’t believe anyone would have guessed she would’ve given her life for his, knowing their past history.

“Thanks again for letting us stay here,” I say quietly, taking a seat on the bed and rubbing my eyes.

“We’re family,” she says, and my eyes fill with tears.

“Are you sure you all want to sleep in here?” Cash asks.

“I need my girls close,” Jax explains quietly, moving his gaze to the bed, where Hope is a sleep, then to me.

“Whatever you need, bud,” Cash says, and I hear the rawness in his voice, which only serves to make the pain in my chest expand. “Get some sleep and we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night,” I say, getting off the bed, hugging Cash then Lilly, and watching Jax do the same before closing the door.

“Are you tired, baby?” he asks as I go to the suitcase in the corner of the room and grab one of his shirts.

“Yes, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep,” I tell him as I take off my clothes I put on after the shower I took when we got here and put on his shirt.

“I fucked up today.”

“You didn’t,” I whisper, sitting on the side of the bed, watching as he trades his jeans for a pair of sweats.

“I did, Ellie,” he argues quietly, coming to stand in front of me, running his hand over the bruises on my throat.

“He was crazy, Jax, and now that he’s gone, all the women he’s held hostage are free from him. They have a chance to start over; their children have a chance at a normal life,” I tell him, feeling sorrow wash through me for those women and their children and what they have yet to face.

After the medical examiner ran the prints of the dead men, they found out the main guy’s name was Tobias Benedict. He was the son of a prostitute who lived in the mountains of Tennessee on a six hundred acre plot of land, which he had turned into a compound of sorts. He had reportedly said he spoke to God and that God told him it was his duty to bring forth pure children into the world, and his offspring would lead in the war against evil at the end of times.

He had a harem of women, all of them he had either kidnapped or bought, and they were all virgins, who he then had children with. I was stunned when Jax’s uncle told us he had over two hundred followers who all believed him. But knowing the world we live in, and how badly some people want to believe in something, anything, I know it’s possible.

“You were almost taken from our home. I could have lost you and Hope, and I would’ve had no way to find you,” he says, getting down on his knees in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head in my lap.

“You would have found us.” I whisper, forcing his eyes to meet mine then holding his face in my hands. “You wouldn’t have stopped until you did,” I say then drop my forehead to his. “I don’t want to play what if, not when we’re here together, not after what happened,” I whisper, closing my eyes, feeling his arms wrap around me.