Trust in Me

I was acting like a spaz and I needed to play it cool. The last thing anyone in this world needed was Cam finding out why I had reason to act like a dweeb on crack. “So, um, I thought Jase lived up by the college?”


That sounded casual, right? Oh God, I was pretty sure my voice had cracked at some point during that not-so-innocent question.

“He does, but he spends most of his time at his father’s farm.” Cam slowed his truck down and hung a sharp right. Tea almost went out the window, but I had a death grip on it. Tea was going nowhere. “You remember Jack, right?”

Of course I did. Jase had a five-year-old brother named Jack, and I knew the little boy meant the world to him. I obsessively remembered everything I’d ever learned about Jase in a way I imagined Justin Bieber fans did about him. Embarrassing as that sounded, it was true. Jase, unbeknownst to him and the entire world, had come to mean a lot of things to me in the last three years.

A friend.

My brother’s saving grace.

And the source of my crush.

But then a year ago, right at the start of my senior year in high school, when Jase had tagged along with Cam and visited home, he’d become something very complicated. Something that a part of me wanted nothing more than to forget about—but the other part of me refused to let go of the memories of his lips against mine or how his hands had felt skimming over my body or the way he had groaned my name like it had caused him exquisite pain.

Oh goodness . . .

My cheeks heated behind my sunglasses at the vivid memory and I turned my face to the window, half tempted to roll the window down and stick my head out. I so needed to pull it together. If Cam ever discovered that Jase had kissed me, he would murder him and hide his body on a rural road like this one.

And that would be a damn shame.

My brain emptied of anything to say and I so needed a distraction right now. The perspiration from the tea and my own trembling hands were making it hard to hold on to the cup. I could’ve asked Cam about Avery and that would’ve worked, because Cam loved talking about Avery. I could’ve asked about his classes or started talking about mine, but all I could do was think about the fact that I was finally going to see Jase in a situation where he couldn’t run away from me.

The thick trees on either side of the road started to thin out and through them, green pastures became visible. Cam turned onto a narrow road. The truck bounced on the potholes, making my stomach queasy.

My brows lowered as we passed between two brown poles. A chain link lay on the ground and off to the left was a small wooden sign that read WINSTEAD: PRIVATE PROPERTY. A large cornfield greeted us, but the stalks were dry and yellow, looking as if they were days away from withering up and dying. Beyond them, several large horses grazed behind a wooden fence that was missing many of its middle panels. Cows roamed over most of the property to the left, fat and happy looking.

As we drew closer, an old barn came into view. A scary old barn, like the one in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, complete with the creepy rooster compass thing swiveling on the roof, and several yards beyond the barn was a two-story home. The once-white walls were gray, and even from the truck I could tell there was more paint peeling off than there was on the house. Blue tarp covered several sections of the roof and a chimney looked like it was half crumbling. Red dusty bricks were stacked along the side of the house, as if someone had started to repair the chimney but grew bored and gave up. There was also a cemetery of broken-down cars behind the barn, a sea of rusted-out trucks and sedans.

Shock rippled through me as I sat up a bit straighter. This was Jase’s farm? For some reason, I pictured something a little more . . . up-to-date?

Cam parked the truck a few feet back from the barn and killed the engine. He glanced over at me, following my stare to the house. Unlocking his seat belt, he sighed. “His parents have had a really hard time. Jase tries to help with the farm and stuff, but as you can see . . .”

The farm needed more help than Jase could provide.

I blinked. “It’s . . . charming.”

Cam laughed. “It’s nice of you to say that.”

My fingers tightened around the cup in defense. “It is.”

“Uh-huh.” He flipped his baseball cap around, shielding his eyes. Tufts of brown hair poked out from the back rim.

I started to speak, but movement out of the corner of my eyes caught my attention.

Racing out from the side of the barn, a little boy seated in a miniature John Deere tractor hooted and hollered, his chubby arms bone straight, his hands gripping the steering wheel, and a mop of curly brown hair shining under the bright August sun. Pushing the tractor from behind was Jase, and even though I could barely hear him, I was sure that he was making engine noises. They bounced along the uneven gravel and ground; Jase laughed as his little brother shouted, “Faster! Go faster!”

Jase appeased his brother, pushing the tractor so it zigged and zagged to a stop in front of the truck as Jack squealed, still clenching the steering wheel. Plumes of dust flew into the air.