Seven
Jesus. What the f*ck had he been thinking? That he could take what he wanted and keep enough control to make her go crazy without becoming invested in being with her? Really? This was Maddie, and he was an idiot for even trying.
MJ tore his hands through his hair and paced around in the back hallway inside the big house. He wanted to get out and go to Coach’s bar, but getting drunk and fighting again would only get him kicked out and piss off Coach.
There was nowhere to run. Staying felt like being a rat trapped in a maze, but this rat knew where the cheese was. He’d just tasted it and ran like hell. That cheese had poisoned him before. You’d think he’d learn his lesson. He’d make one dumbass rat.
He cracked his knuckles then pounded his fists against his forehead. He could smell her perfume on him. It made him want to crawl back to her and beg her to never leave him again.
MJ took a deep breath and blew it out hard. He had to take a cold shower and forget this ever happened.
Like that was possible.
Shit, the whimpers and sighs she made and the look on her face. “Ugh.” He scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and focused on not getting hard.
There was no running away from this. No matter where he went, his memory would remind him of her just like it had for the past year. Her voice would come to him in a crowd and he’d look around expecting to see her, but she was never there. The wound she left never healed. He’d been bleeding for her since the day she took off.
“Everything okay, young man?” MJ spun around to face Mr. Simcoe, Maddie’s dad. Just the person he needed to be standing in front of right now.
“Fine. Thanks.” He mustered a smile and tried not to look guilty for the images of Maddie running rampant through his brain.
Mr. Simcoe folded his arms and smiled back. “Maddie was glad to see you again. It’s been a while since the two of you spent time together.”
“Yeah. It’s good to see her again.” And to kiss her and press her up against a wall.
He placed a hand on MJ’s shoulder. “You mean a lot to her. I don’t know what went on between the two of you, but whatever it was I hope you can get past it.”
MJ clenched his jaw holding back a slur of words that would, no doubt, make Maddie’s dad punch him in the mouth. He wanted to shout, tell him how Maddie promised the world—the f*cking world—and bolted from him for no reason.
There hadn’t been a fight or an argument, only plans and dreams. So many f*cking dreams. He hated her for that. Why didn’t she tell him it was all lies? Why lie to him in the first place? He wasn’t some kid to be screwed with.
God, Maddie was the last person who would’ve screwed with his head.
Then why? Why did she?
“I’ve got to go,” MJ muttered and brushed past Maddie’s dad.
MJ sat in the corner of the shower and let the hot water beat down on his skin washing her away. He could stay there forever in the steam and silence and never see her again.
He had to get away from this f*cking house, and everyone in it.
Start over somewhere new.
But, where the hell did he have to go?
He lifted his face into the water. He knew where. He’d go with Rachael. She’d already mentioned it to him. He could take her up on her offer to go to Turtle Tear and be gone from this place.
He’d also get to meet his cousins he was never allowed to know because they’re little kids and little kids can’t keep their mouths shut. One of them would’ve outted MJ to Merrick, and Enzo couldn’t have that.
He stood and turned the water off, dripped onto the bathroom floor and padded out into his bedroom in search of a towel. Out his window, he caught the back of Mr. Simcoe’s golf cart heading toward the lake. Maddie’s hair blew out behind her as she drove away.
Why was she spending so much time out there? It killed him to spend time at the lake where they spent their summers when they were young, where they made love for the first time in the dark with lightning bugs blinking around them in the tall grass. Where she told him she wanted to be more and kissed him for the first time.
MJ loved being home on break and he hated it. Hated being where his grandfather didn’t want him, but loved being with Maddie. Now high school was over and he’d start college in the fall. No more being hidden away at boarding school. He could do what he wanted, when he wanted and nobody could stop him. He hoped that included spending a lot more time with Maddie.
She looked incredible tonight, like always. Her skin was tan, her shorts were very short, and her dark hair hung loose and wild around her bare shoulders. Those shoulders in a tank top did something to him. He wanted to touch them. Taste and nibble them with his teeth.
“Don’t you think?” she said, laughing.
He had no idea what she’d said, but agreed anyway. “Yeah. Sure.”
She pulled the top of a fat, white wildflower off of its stem and set it in the water. They watched it float. “I have to tell you something,” she said, suddenly serious.
“What?” Her blue eyes grabbed his and held on. It was like being punched in the stomach. “What?” he asked again.
“I… um…” She blew out a big breath and shoved her hair away from her face. “Why is this so hard?”
“I don’t know. Just tell me.” Playfully, he punched her arm and smirked. “It’s me.”
She smiled and bit her lip. “It is you. That’s the thing. I don’t feel like your friend anymore.”
No. No, no, no. He couldn’t lose Maddie.
He gripped her arms and held her tight. “What are you talking about? You’re more than a friend to me, Mads. You know that.”
She could barely look him in the eye. “What if I want to be a lot more?”
It took him a minute to understand what she was saying, then he thought he’d misunderstood. He’d been in love with Maddie for as long as he could remember, but she never thought of him like that. He was her best friend. Her younger brother.
Wasn’t he?
“More, how?” he asked. The question sounded stupid, but he didn’t know what else to say. He needed to be certain.
Maddie looked up at him and saw right through him as always. She took his face in her hands, rose up on her toes and kissed him.
His arms immediately found their way around her and held her to his chest.
Finally.
He never thought it would happen, but now that it was, he wondered why it had taken so long. It was obvious they belonged together. Nobody knew her like he did, and nobody knew him like Maddie.
His Maddie.
How could he think he could seduce her and get her back? Did he forget how addicted he was to being with her like that? With her breathless and ready to bend to his will? Jesus, it was all he could do to keep control of himself, and he wouldn’t take her unless she was his. Not again.
Never again.
MJ shook his head and turned away from the window. He had to find Rachael and figure out what the plan was. He had to get the hell away from here.
After throwing on a pair of worn jeans and a blue GSU T-shirt with holes in it, MJ wandered downstairs. Rachael had to be there somewhere. She didn’t answer his knock on the guest bedroom door, and she didn’t have a car to get around. He knew she wasn’t with Enzo, because his grandfather was locked away alone in his office.
He passed the living room. It was empty, the TV dark on the wall above the fireplace. She wasn’t in the library or the sunroom either. Heading to the kitchen, he figured he’d check outside. That’s when he heard her voice.
“Shannon, it’s not like that. You don’t understand.” Hearing Rachael’s words edged with temper, MJ peered around the corner into the kitchen. She stood against the counter with her back to him. “I never should’ve told you, I guess. I thought you’d understand.” She gripped the edge of the counter with one hand. “No. I’m not coming back.” She shook her head fiercely. “Because, Turtle Tear is my home now.”
MJ waited until she hung up her phone before entering the kitchen. “Hey, Rach. Hear any more from my dad?” He almost choked on the word. It sounded awkward, but he’d gotten it out.
Rachael’s eyes darted around the kitchen as she tip-toed to the entryway and glanced down the hall. She turned back to him with a small, secretive smile. “Yes. He’s in Miami wrapping up some business. He doesn’t want you with Enzo for one more second than you have to be. Have you thought about coming to Turtle Tear with me?”
This was perfect. He wanted out and Rachael would take him. MJ put a huge smile onto his face, making his dimples—his dad’s dimples from what he’d been told his entire life—dent his cheeks. “Consider me there, Rach. Thanks.” He hooked an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.