I kiss the top of her head. “Because it’s supposed to be. Because things like this are meant to torture us until we bend and break. You just need to figure out if all of this is worth it.”
She looks up at me, and every dark corner in my heart is filled with blinding light. “You know, when this all began, I felt guilty. A part of me still does. And I’m disgusted with myself for feeling downright devastated, because I know that this can’t last.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head from side to side. When she looks back at me, those cerulean irises are drowning in tears. “And I’m trying not to think about it. I’m trying to just enjoy the little time we do have together. But dammit, it hurts, Justice. It hurts because I’m already bending and breaking. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it. If all we have is now, I know I’ll never be whole again. And, God…it’s worth it. You’re worth it. I’ll gladly stay broken for you.”
Every emotion inside me battles its way to the surface, and I open and close my dry mouth, willing them not to spill out. Here we are, two lonely, broken souls lost to our own desires. I was born into the life she lives in, and all I want to do is take her away from it. To steal her from everyone she loves and knows, and covet her smiles and gentle heart. But I can’t say that. I can’t tell her how badly it hurts when I think about her leaving me. I can’t describe how much she’s completely altered the man that I thought I was, and I how broken I already am. How I’m breaking right now.
“I will too.”
Ally smiles. And a lifetime of loneliness and pain disintegrates under its brilliance. So I smile too, because any time with her, whether it’s a day or an hour, is worth it.
“I wish I would’ve known you before…before you left New York. I wish I had met you first. But then again, it wouldn’t even have mattered. I would have found you eventually.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because…because you’re my lobster,” she whispers.
“Huh?” I ask, raising a questioning brow. Did she say… lobster?
She just shakes her head, wearing a tight-lipped grin. I lace my fingers with hers, kissing her knuckles before ushering her out of my home for the very last time. That once cold, sterile place that housed my secrets and solitude. The space she filled with more warmth than the sun.
“Come on. Time for class,” I say as we cross the threshold.
Stay, Ally. Don’t go. Leave him and stay with me.
That’s what I should have said.
“FIRST, I WANT to say how much of a pleasure it has been to have the opportunity to teach you and guide you all toward healthier, more fulfilling sex lives. Not only that, it’s been a pleasure getting to know each and every one of you. You all have been great…always willing to learn and improve, even when you weren’t 100% comfortable or convinced. And I just want to say thank you.”
I take a deep breath to steel my resolve and glance out at the eleven confused faces staring back at me. I am proud of them—all of them. And it truly hurts that I have to utter my next words to protect them. “That’s why I regret to inform you that the course will be ending a bit sooner than expected, and you’ll all be heading home.”
“What?”
“Why?”
“Did something happen?”
“Did we do something wrong?”
The questions hit me all at once, and I make a motion with my open hands to calm them down. “Ladies, I assure you, you’ve done nothing wrong. Just some issues have surfaced that require my immediate attention. Of course, you’ll all be issued a full refund and-”
“Why are you doing this?” The voice is broken, just like me. I can’t even look in her direction.
“Like I was saying, a full refund will be-”
“You can’t do this. You can’t just send me away. You can’t do this, Justice!”
I open my mouth to explain, but Diane rushes in, saving me from another cold, rehearsed line.
“Mr. Drake, we have a situation,” she mutters only for my ears. I give a stiff nod before turning towards the class.
“If you’ll excuse me for just a moment.”
I’m leading her to the back office that mostly houses locked file cabinets of client information and things of that nature. That’s when I hear it. A voice I haven’t heard in over a decade. A voice that shouldn’t be here.
I turn to Diane, whose dark, bronze skin suddenly looks ashen. “I tried to explain,” she shrieks. “Mr. Drake, what’s going on? The staff is worried…”
The voice grows louder, more annoying. It echoes through the foyer and pierces my eardrums with the pain of remembrance. I duck into the sitting area right off the great room, before I can be seen.
“Isolate the situation, Diane.” My voice is calm and level, but truth be told, my entire body is on red alert. “Make sure the ladies don’t know.”
But just as I say the words, I know it’s too late.
It’s too late.
Take a bow; the curtain’s closed. It’s time to go home.