Slow No Wake

FOUR

Gale Force

The next day, work was a bit of a whirlwind, starting with the weekly staff meeting in the morning. Luckily, the meeting only included clinical staff in outpatient services so I wasn’t completely overwhelmed. Tom was there, as was Brad, the twins, Daniel and another guy, who I assumed was the other intake counselor. He had a dark complexion and nearly perfect features. Although he was seated, he looked muscular and fit.

Tom provided the group with a little of my background. The twins smiled, Brad scowled, and the other guy stared at me with a neutral expression. I hesitated looking at Daniel. I didn’t realize how awkward it would be to have a romantic interest in a guy I would also have to have a professional relationship with.

F*ck it.

I glanced over at Daniel, who was seated directly across from me, and he gave me a shy smile. I could see that his eyes were twinkling as he gazed into mine. I swallowed hard and tried to keep my rapid heartbeating at bay.

Tom opened up the meeting to the other participants and asked if anyone had a case he or she needed to discuss. Both of the twins raised their hands simultaneously. It made me wonder if they worked together with clients or if they had two different cases they wanted to talk about.

Tom gestured toward the twins. “What have you got?”

“It’s a family we’re seeing,” Serenity said.

“A mother, step-father and two teenage boys,” Trinity interjected.

“Who happen to be twins,” Serenity added.

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Brad said in a tone I found condescending. “Or maybe the two of you consider that an area of expertise.”

Tom frowned at Brad. “Do you have a question about the actual case?”

Brad gave Tom a sly grin and asked, “How old are the boys?”

“I’m sure Serenity and Trinity were getting to that,” Tom replied.

Brad folded his arms against his chest in a defensive gesture and glared at everyone for the rest of the meeting.

Serenity and Trinity took the remainder of the hour explaining the details of the case and asking for alternative perspectives as well as treatment options.

I was nervous about contributing at my first meeting, so I kept silent, but the intake counselor, who I hadn’t yet formally met, added a unique perspective. When he spoke, I thought I detected a slight accent but I couldn’t quite place it. It made me think he was Hispanic though.

I tried to avoid direct eye contact with Daniel but it was difficult. He was like a magnet I was constantly being drawn to. And I couldn’t help but notice that every time I glanced over at him, he was looking at me, his beautiful blue eyes dancing. I had heard the term ‘undressing someone with your eyes’ before, but this was the first time I had actually experienced it. I just hoped no one else noticed the way Daniel was looking at me.

I was wrong.

As soon as the meeting was over, the twins pulled me into the ladies room.

“Oh, my Goddess,” Serenity said. “What is going on with you and Daniel?”

“The eye flirting between the two of you was intense,” Trinity added.

I gulped. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to reveal to the twins. I had already ascertained they were the organization’s gossip whores.

“We’ve been having lunch,” I said matter-of-factly.

They both gave me the same incredulous look at the same moment. I had the distinct feeling I was being double teamed.

“It’s also possible we have a date Saturday night,” I said.

They both went wide-eyed.

“Daniel has worked here for years and we’ve never heard about him dating anyone,” Serenity said.

“He’s quiet, though,” Trinity added. “And mainly keeps to himself.”

“He is attractive,” Serenity said. “If you like rugged guys.”

I shrugged. I wasn’t sure what I liked anymore.

Serenity continued, “Do you think it’s a good idea to get involved with someone at work?”

“What if it doesn’t work out and the two of you still have to see each other every day at the office?” Trinity added.

“Have you heard the term cart before the horse?” I asked. “We’re really just friends and we haven’t even gone out yet.”

Trinity put her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry, but friends do not look at each other the way Daniel was looking at you. There was definitely some eye f*cking going on there.”

I tried to stifle a gasp. I was definitely in trouble.

Trinity placed a hand on my shoulder. “Just be careful, okay?”

I nodded.

“Yeah,” Serenity added. “You’re the first counselor they’ve ever hired who we’ve actually liked. If you leave, it will just be the two of us with Brad again. Please don’t go.”

I sighed. “I’m not planning on going anywhere and I definitely don’t want to jeopardize my career for a guy.”

That seemed to appease the twins but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to convince myself.

Is it bad that as I stared at a stack of cases I was assigned to review, the only thing I could think about was going to lunch with Daniel?

I had gotten about half way through the stack when my cell phone beeped. It was a text from Daniel: Something came up. Won’t be able to meet for lunch today. Sorry. How about tomorrow?

I texted back: Tomorrow’s okay.

Why did I feel like crying? Lunch was an insignificant thing in the grand scheme of all things, but at that moment, it felt like everything.

I went back to my stack of case files and dug in.

At noon, I went down to the cafeteria and grabbed one of the box lunches. It was another beautiful day in South Florida, so I decided to sit outside by the pond. I closed my eyes for a moment and listened to the sound of the small waterfall. It was peaceful. A moment of serenity until I heard a deep voice say my name.

I opened my eyes and the intake counselor from the staff meeting, whose name I didn’t know yet, was standing above me.

“I haven’t had a chance to introduce myself,” he said. “I’m Ricky Calvo.”

He put a hand out and I shook it. I noticed he had the same rough and callused hands as Daniel and Eddie. Weird. I wondered if it was some kind of Florida thing I wasn’t aware of.

“Do you mind if I join you?” he asked.

I noticed he had a sack lunch he must have brought with him.

“Sure,” I responded.

He sat on the other side of the bench. “I’m glad you joined the team,” he said. “I have a growing stack of clients, who need to be seen. Brad is—well—particular about the clients he’ll see and the twins are—well—the twins.”

Our eyes met and he gave me a slight smile. “Let’s just say I prefer to hand the twins family cases they can work on together.”

Ricky exuded confidence and he was definitely smart. I could tell he had his act together by the comments he made in the staff meeting.

“I’m glad you have so much faith in my abilities.”

He smiled. “Let’s just say I’m a good judge of character.”

We both took bites of our sandwiches. I had to admit, I found Ricky a bit intimidating. Even though I was the one with the Master’s degree, he seemed much sharper than me.

“So, where are you from?” I asked, trying to make conversation.

His head tilted slightly as if he was trying to assess why I asked the question.

“You have a slight accent,” I added.

He gave me a sexy grin. “Very perceptive.” The guy was hot and he knew it.

“I am a therapist,” I joked.

“I guess all of those accent reduction classes didn’t do the trick.”

“I did say slight,” I reminded him.

“I grew up in New York but I was born in Puerto Rico.”

“Do you get back there much?”

“Which place?”

“Either—both?”

He shook his head. “Too many bad memories. Florida is my home now.”

I sensed there was a lot to the bad memories but I didn’t want to pry.

“And where are you from?” he asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

“Illinois,” I replied.

He raised an eyebrow. “A Midwest girl, huh?”

I nodded. It looked as though he wanted to say more but he stopped himself. He just gave me a sly smile. Then something caught my eye in the distance, over by the school. Although I couldn’t see that well that far away, I had the feeling it was Daniel. He was talking with another guy, who had his back to me.

“What are you looking at?” Ricky asked and I gave him my attention again.

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

I could tell Ricky didn’t believe me, but he didn’t push any further.

“Can I stop by your office this afternoon and hand you a few cases? Are you ready to see clients?”

I nodded. “Tom gave me the green light.”

Ricky smiled. “Great.”

When I looked back over to where Daniel had been, I noticed he was walking right toward us. Ricky had his back to him but he could see my face.

There was no reason for me to panic but I did. There was absolutely nothing going on between Ricky and me, but for some reason, I didn’t want Daniel to see the two of us sitting together. Unfortunately, it was inevitable.

I could see the look on Daniel’s face change as he registered the fact that I was seated on the bench having lunch with Ricky. Even though it wasn’t planned and he had just sat down for a friendly chat, I felt guilty, like I was doing something wrong. Especially when I saw the look of pain on Daniel’s face and the sadness in his eyes when he passed by the two of us. He didn’t stop or say anything, he just continued walking right by us.

When I looked at Ricky, he was taking a sip of orange juice. He swallowed and said, “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t respond. I just looked down at my lunch. I could feel a few tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

“Was that Danny?” he asked.

When I looked back at Ricky, I could see he was trying to figure out who had just passed by. I found it odd that he called Daniel ‘Danny.’ Everyone else called him Daniel.

I could feel a teardrop escape down my face. I tried to discretely brush it away, which wasn’t easy with Ricky staring at me, almost examining me. I could see his wheels spinning. I knew in a few seconds he would realize something was going on between Daniel and me. Then a look of understanding spread over his face. I wasn’t sure if he was going to say something or keep it to himself.

When he started to say something, I realized he wasn’t sure either. Then he stopped and just looked at me. “Danny’s a good guy,” he said finally. “I’d hate to see him get hurt.”

Without another word, he rose and walked away.

***

I sat in my office staring at the case files. At least the pile was getting smaller. I debated the sanity of trying to read cases when all I could think about was the look on Daniel’s face when he saw me with Ricky.

I didn’t even know Ricky. He had just sat down to talk to me. It was such an innocent thing, yet it wasn’t. There was obviously something more between Daniel and Ricky then just me having lunch with him. They had to have some history together. Why else would he call him Danny?

I grabbed a file from the pile and opened it. After I read the same opening paragraph five times and it still didn’t make sense, I decided it was time to talk to Daniel.

I hadn’t yet been to his office but I had an idea of where the intake area was, so I did a little searching until I saw the door with him name on it. It was half open or half closed, depending on your point of view. It made me wonder if it was symbolic of how he was feeling about me. Yes, as a therapist, I had a tendency to read too much into everything.

I knocked lightly on the door and when Daniel looked up he seemed surprised to see me. Not pleasantly surprised, as I had hoped, but he didn’t look unpleasantly surprised either. He just looked confused.

“I think we need to talk,” I said as I entered his office and closed the door behind me.

He nodded and I took a seat.

“I just want you to know that I was eating lunch by myself when Ricky introduced himself and asked if he could join me. We were just talking.”

He nodded again but didn’t say anything. I noticed he had put up a bit of a wall between us. It felt cold and uncomfortable.

“I’m not interested in Ricky, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

His look was sullen. “Ricky has a way with women.”

“He’s not really my type,” I said. “And I’m interested in someone else.”

I looked into his eyes and the intensity between us started to melt the ice that had formed. He started to bite his bottom lip, a habit I found extremely attractive. Anything that brought my attention to his lips made me think about kissing him.

“And just who is the lucky guy you’re interested in?” he asked, knowing full well it was him.

“We’re going out Saturday night,” I said.

“Is that so?” he said as the heat between us continued to intensify. I was suddenly glad there was a desk separating us. “I’m jealous.”

I grinned. “You should be. This guy is the full package.”

I could see his face grow red with embarrassment. “The full package, huh?”

I nodded.

“I hope this guy doesn’t mind that we’re meeting for lunch tomorrow.”

“I think he’d be terribly jealous,” I said playing it up as much as I could. “He hates to see me with other men.”

I was surprised when Daniel touched my hand. I instinctively glanced up at the door to make sure it was still closed. He grazed his index finger along my thumb and then each of my fingers. The act was so sensual it took my breath away. “I’m really looking forward to Saturday night,” he said as he continued caressing my fingers.

“Me, too,” I managed to get out with the limited breath I now seemed to have.

I felt like crawling over the desk and into his lap. I tried to distract myself by looking around his office. I noticed for the first time that his walls were covered with framed posters of guys in the ocean on boards attached to kites. I assumed they were kite surfers.

He must have noticed me examining his art work. “I like to kite surf,” he said.

“Are the posters of you?” I asked. It was difficult to tell who was actually doing the kite surfing in the photos.

“Some of them,” he said. “Some of them are my friends.” He pointed to one across the room from me. “That one’s Ricky. The one next to it is my roommate.” He pointed to two close to me. “Those two are me.”

I nodded. I wondered if that explained the rough hands and calluses.

“You should watch us sometime,” he said. “We’re all pretty good.”

I nodded. “Okay, sure.”

I stood. “I’d better get back to work,” I said. “Please don’t freak out when you see me talking to Ricky. You know we have to work together.”

“I know,” he said. “It’s just…” I could see him thinking. “We have a history. I know how he is with women.”

“Please don’t worry,” I said, and we left it at that.

***

That evening, I was a little surprised when Eddie didn’t barge in. My heart sank a little as I settled into bed and I realized I probably wasn’t going to see him. Then I chastised myself for feeling that way. I should have been glad not to see Eddie and be tempted by his advances. He was an a*shole, plain and simple, and I knew getting involved with him would be a huge mistake. Still, there was something about him that was irresistible no matter how hard I tried to control it.

I also felt guilty thinking about Eddie when I had a chance for a real relationship with Daniel. He was so hurt when he saw me just sitting with Ricky, I couldn’t even image what he would think about my interactions with Eddie. Not that he would ever find out. I would make sure of that.

The best course of action was to steer clear of Eddie and give my full attention to Daniel. He deserved my full attention, something I’m not sure I could give him with Eddie in the picture.

My decision was reinforced when I heard Eddie’s door slam and the voice of a woman in his apartment. It didn’t take long for, shall I say amorous noises, to filter through the flimsy walls. Amorous was actually too nice of a term for what I heard. It sounded like he was filming a porno in his apartment. I put my pillow over my head and tried my best to go to sleep.

***

The next day, the twins caught me in the hallway on my way to the office.

“You look like crap,” Trinity said.

“Thanks,” I said. “I always like to start my day with a vote of confidence like that.”

“Sorry,” she said. “No offence, but did you get any sleep?”

I shook my head and starting walking. The twins followed. “I live in a duplex,” I explained. “My next door neighbor is a womanizing a*shole and it sounded like he was having an orgy all night. Let’s just say the walls between our apartments are very thin.”

“That’s disgusting,” Serenity added.

“Extremely,” I agreed.

Trinity looked up and down the hall to make sure no one else was within earshot. “We wanted to talk to you about Brad,” she said.

“We need your help,” Serenity added.

I unlocked my office and the three of us entered. “What’s going on?”

The twins glanced at each other and then Trinity spoke. “We think if we can get him laid he’ll be nicer.”

I nearly choked. “And how do you propose to do that?”

“We want you to help us fix him up,” Serenity said.

“The obvious question is whether we need to fix him up with a man or a woman,” I said.

“That’s where you come in,” Serenity said. “We think we can find someone either way, but we just need to know which way to go.”

“So you’ve never gotten any clues to his orientation or preferences?” I asked. I couldn’t believe the direction this conversation was taking.

The twins simultaneously shook their heads.

“I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the whole idea,” I admitted. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to pry into people’s love lives.”

“We thought you might say that,” Serenity was obviously disappointed.

“Just think about it,” Trinity said. “You haven’t been the focus of Brad’s wrath yet but when you are, I think you’ll reconsider your position.”

And with that, the twins left my office. It was completely possible that the clinical staff I worked with were in just as much need of therapy as our clients.

A few minutes after I sat down and began checking my emails, Ricky poked his head in my door. “Mind if I come in?” he asked.

“Sure,” I replied.

He entered carrying a stack of files. “Ready for some cases?” When I nodded, he placed the files on the edge of my desk.

I sensed some tension in the air. When our eyes met, Ricky’s gaze was serious. “I hope I didn’t come on too strongly yesterday,” he said. “Danny is a good friend. I guess I’m a little protective of him.”

“I can appreciate that,” I said.

“He’s gotten hurt. I mean really hurt, in a past relationship, so it’s not easy for him to put himself out there.”

“I have too,” I admitted. Then I looked him straight in the eye and said, “I caught my ex-fiancé having sex with my sister.”

Ricky went wide-eyed. “Wow. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything. Just know that it’s not easy for me, either.”

He nodded. “Well, I’d better get back to work.”

“Thanks for the files.”

When Ricky left, I couldn’t help but wonder what I was getting myself into with Daniel. Could two people, who’ve had their hearts crushed, ever have a healthy relationship? I wondered if my attraction to Eddie was some kind of self-sabotage. Maybe deep down, I didn’t feel like I was worthy of, or even deserved to have someone love me. I obviously couldn’t keep my ex-fiancé interested. Maybe there was something truly wrong with me and I would never be able to hold on to a man.