Which brings us to today’s bad day. I’m sure my lips are in a perpetual state of pout, while my brow is stuck in the state of furrow. I must look like a ten-year-old who has been told she can’t have any candy.
Which sucks, because I want candy. I would’ve done anything to have candy. I want candy to make me scream his name as we coupled for the first time.
I want the damn candy. I want to catalogue and alphabetize all the beautiful tattoo’s I have seen, and those that I haven’t. I feel connected to him in a way I can’t explain. He makes me feel safe from everything. From everyone. Deep inside of me, I know he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me.
He just wouldn’t.
And now the candy is gone. Just when I needed a sugar rush.
Figures.
Leaning back in my office chair with a sigh I hope time has mercy on me and passes quickly.
Otherwise, I might just go insane.
Feeling a prickling sensation on the back of my neck, I wake with a start.
Lifting my head from my pillow, I sit up and watch the large shadow walk away from me.
And my heart sinks.
“Twitch?”
Stopping mid-step, he turns and slowly walks back to my bedroom door. My eyes adjust to the dark and I watch him as he watches me. I whisper, “You didn’t come back.”
Fully awake now, I realize how pathetic I must sound, all but begging my stalker-slash-protector to sleep with me forever and ever.
He searches my face in the dim light for a long moment. He asks roughly, “You need my help sleeping?”
Shit.
The way he said that indicated there will be no sleeping if I say yes.
My voice strains. “Yes.”
My nipples become taut under his watchful eye, and he almost takes a step forward, but holds himself back. Reaching into his pocket, he takes some candy and throws them in his mouth. Sucking on them, he says gently but firmly, “There’s only one way I fuck.”
The words are so crude that my lips part and I huff in an unsteady breath.
He takes a step forward, his eyes never leaving mine. “Dirty.” Watching my reaction, he adds, “And this type of dirty...” He breathes deep and says on an exhale, “…it doesn’t wash off.”
Say goodnight and forget this ever happened.
I stutter through my whisper, “Sh-show me.”
You’ve lost your damn mind.
His brown eyes crinkle as his brow bunches, clearly not expecting that reply. “I don’t think you know what you’re sayin’.” I swallow hard and he leans a hip on my dresser and explains, “You start this and change your mind, I won’t stop. Stop, when I’m fucking, means a very different thing. Last thing I need is a woman crying rape.”
Closing my eyes, I hope my shiver isn’t visible. Forcing my eyes open, I say quietly, “I want it.”
Standing straight, his expression turns indifferent. “Beg.”
Oh God, what? Seriously? Tell him to leave!
“Please.” I say this so quietly, the wind outside sounds over it.
I’m so ashamed of myself for wanting this. His brand of sex comes with a warning label. That should make me want to run in the opposite direction.
He slowly places his hands into the pockets of his pants, shaking his head. “No, Alexa. Not good enough.” Then he turns and walks out of my room.
Sitting in my bed, my face flushes the brightest of pinks.
Did I seriously just get rejected by my stalker? What the fuck?
My body, not taking no for an answer, jumps up out of bed and runs down the hall, meeting Twitch at the door. Just as he opens it, I slam it shut.
My scowl must be fierce because his brows rise. As he takes in my expression, I bark out, “You can’t do that, Twitch. That’s an asshole move! You didn’t even give me a chance to—”
He cuts me off. “Gave you a chance when I asked you to beg.”
My mouth gapes. “That was a test?”
His eyes soften a little. “No. Not a test. Just what I like. And if you’re not into it, you’re not into it. Unless you give yourself to me completely, then...” he shrugs, “…not gonna happen.”
I’m unsure how to proceed. Do I risk losing myself? Even for one night?
He turns the doorknob once more, but I use my hip to bump it shut. “I’ll do it. Whatever you want. I’ll do it.”
“Show me how much you want it.”
My cheeks heat.
Licking my lips, I lean forward and up, but he catches my chin in his hand, holding it tight. His brows furrowed, he softens his reprimand with a gentle voice. “You don’t get to kiss me until I say you can.”
My brows furrow to match his.
Then how can I show him that I wa—
My eyes widen and I swallow hard. He sees the moment I catch on and his lip twitches.
Closing my eyes, I hold the door with one hand and kneel slowly. Once on my knees in front of him, I reach up and place my shaking fingers on his belt buckle. I’m not sure why I do it, but I look up at him, silently asking permission. His eyes soften and he places a hand on my head, softly stroking my hair.