The minute we pulled into the parking lot, I felt like I was going to be sick. I was nervous about everything, the way I looked, socializing with Vincent, seeing Noah and Beth together, and just plain seeing Noah. I constantly tugged on the taffeta flowers that were stitched to my skirt during the ride over here. The cherry on top of my nerve sundae was the fact that I was sitting in the back of my parent’s car. I wanted Emily to drive me here and pick me up, but my parents insisted. They said that since I was meeting Vincent here instead of him picking me up at our house, they wanted to come and see us together and take pictures. I agreed, after all it was my first dance. This whole dance thing was already a nightmare and I hadn’t even gotten out of the car.
Dad parked and escorted me and Mom to the gym where the dance was being held. As we got closer, I saw a barrage of flashing lights as Vincent’s parents took picture, after picture, after picture. He really wasn’t a bad looking guy. Some would even say he was cute, in a nerdy sort of way. He had on a dark sports jacket, khaki pants, and a light blue button down shirt with a paisley bow tie. Not exactly GQ material, but it worked for him.
Vincent saw me walking towards him. I smiled as I saw his mouth drop open and his eyes blink a few times, like he was amazed at what he saw. I knew I probably wasn’t, but I felt pretty for the first time in my life. Emily had done a fantastic job for what she had to work with, which wasn’t much. Vincent and I stood there suffering as both sets of parents took what felt like a million pictures of us. Finally, we said our goodbyes to them and headed inside.
With every step I took towards the entrance, my stomach flip-flopped. The entrance to the gym actually looked nice, with an archway decorated with white roses and tiny white lights.
When we first entered, it was difficult to see anything before my eyes had time to adjust to the dim lighting. White columns were placed at each corner of the basketball court, strung with the same tiny white lights. Balloons in the school colors of white and navy blue had been tied everywhere. The DJ was setup at the farthest wall and a table with punch and snacks was set against the wall opposite of him.
I scanned the crowd looking for Noah and Beth. Neither one of them knew I was going to be there tonight. I wasn’t sure I wanted them to see me. A ton of people were already here, so getting lost in the crowd would be easy. I just wanted a quick look at the two of them, anyway.
Vincent and I took a spot up against the wall behind a crowd of girls and boys who were too scared to ask each other to dance. My gaze went from the entrance to scanning the crowd and back again.
“Do you want to dance?” Vincent asked nervously.
“Do you want to dance?”
“Well, we are at a dance.”
“Vinnie, let’s not let the rules of society dictate our actions. I thought you were an independent thinker, man. That’s the main reason I asked you to come tonight.” He simply shrugged and leaned back against the wall.
I had been standing and scanning for at least 40 minutes and still no sign of Noah and Beth.
“I’m going to get some punch. Do you want any?” Vincent sounded blasé.
“What? Oh, no thanks. I’m good.”
As Vincent walked away, he passed in front of me, blocking my view for a split second. When he moved I saw them. Noah and Beth had just walked in. I don’t know if it was the altitude of the heels I was wearing, but when I saw Noah, my knees became weak and I got dizzy. I had to lean against the wall so I wouldn’t fall.
Noah looked amazing. While most of the guys wore either a sport coat and khaki pants or just pants and a button down shirt, he had on a suit. It was black and paired with a light grey shirt and darker grey tie. Even in the dim light, his light blue eyes looked even brighter against the monochromatic colors of his suit. With the combination of those eyes, that dark brown hair, and dark suit, he exuded a smoldering sexiness.
As he and Beth walked further in, they were greeted by a few other couples. The girls ended up huddled together and the guys stood off to the side. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Noah. I was so focused on him that I was startled when Vincent walked up.
“Amanda…um…Sarah Grice just asked me to dance. I told her I needed to check with you first.”
“Are you dumping me half way through our date?” I’m not going to lie, but I was a bit surprised at Vincent.
“No. I wouldn’t do that. Listen, I know why you asked me to the dance. I heard you and Beth talking the other day at lunch.” I felt bad that I was kind of using him. “It’s okay. I’m glad I came with you instead of a real girl.” My eyebrows furrowed as I huffed at him. “You know what I mean. Besides, everyone at school knows how you and Noah are.”
“How are we?”
“I don’t know. You guys seem like you’re something.”
“We’re best friends. We grew up together. That’s it.”
He began fidgeting with the bottom of his jacket. “Look, this conversation is making me uncomfortable. I don’t want Sarah to ask another guy to dance, so is it okay if I go now?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks Amanda. You’re a real pal.” He patted my shoulder, turned, and disappeared into the crowd.
I directed my attention back to Noah and Beth, who were still in the same position, standing away from each other. Things were good. I was hidden and Beth and Noah were not dancing. The night was running pretty smooth and then I heard her.
“Hello Amanda. What on earth are you doing here?”
“Hello Brittani. It’s a school function. I can’t attend a school function?”
“You know you were supposed to bring a date.”
“I brought a date.”
“Who?” she snapped.
“Vincent Chamberlin.”
She craned her neck over the crowd. “Yeah, where is he?”
I hesitated for a few seconds before saying, “He’s dancing with Sarah Grice right now.”
“Oh my god! You’re pathetic! You can’t even keep a nerd like him interested.” I narrowed my eyes at her.
Out the corner of my eye I saw her remove something from her purse and palmed it so I couldn’t see what it was. She raised her hand to her mouth and tilted her head back. She was drinking from a flask.
“You want some?” She held it up offering me a swig.
“You are just a walking afterschool special, aren’t you?” I shook my head at her. “You better watch out. If you get caught, you’ll be expelled.”
She followed my gaze over to where Noah was standing. “He’s perfect. You’re never going to have him.” I didn’t respond. I hoped she would just slither away. “I feel a little sorry for you. You’ll never know what it feels like to be pressed up against him, to have his lips and hands all over your body. He especially likes these.” She pointed to her massive chest region. “He can’t seem to keep his hands off of them and my ass mesmerizes…”
“Is there a point to you?” I abruptly asked.
“You think you’re better than me, don’t you?”
“I don’t think I’m better.”
“I can see why Noah said he would never hook up with you. He thinks you’re a stuck up bitch. In fact, he told me and Beth, he’s been trying to ditch you since the beginning of our freshman year. He just didn’t know how to get rid of you. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings, I guess. Now that you know, why don’t you leave him alone? He and Beth look great together. They’re perfect.”
I could feel the tears prick my eyes. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol making her an uber-bitch or it was just her natural state of being. She knew my weak spot and hit it dead on. I would not give her the satisfaction of thinking she had made me cry.
Pushing through the crowd, I walked quickly across the dance floor to the exit. I could hear her laughing the entire way.
Once outside the night air hit me in the face. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm myself. I needed to be alone. Around the corner of the building, there were steps that led up to the top floor of the gym, set back into an alcove, with a brick wall on either side, that would allow me some privacy until my parents came to pick me up. I walked up a few steps and sat down. When I knew I was safely tucked away out of sight, I covered my face with my hands and let the tears flow.
I hated that I let Brittani upset me that much. The combination of Noah ignoring me, the picture of him touching her, and her insinuating he wanted me out of his life, devastated me. I felt like I was free falling and there was nothing for me to grab a hold of. I knew what she basically said was true, I wouldn’t be with him like that, but she didn’t have to be such an ugly bitch about it.
My parents were to pick me up in a half hour and I planned on staying put until then. I took a few more deep breaths, trying to stop the tears. When it felt like I was finally getting them under control, I heard footsteps approaching. I scooted up as close to the wall as I could, hoping they would just walk on by. It was completely dark on the steps, so no one could see me. The only light in the area was a small pool of light that spilled over from the outside of the music building. The footsteps got closer and closer, and then suddenly stopped. I held my breath.
“Tweet?”
I looked up and saw Noah’s head peering around the wall, up the steps and right at me. I hadn’t heard him say my name in three days. He hadn’t really looked at me in three days. Maybe Brittani was telling the truth and Noah did want me out of his life now.
“Hey,” I choked on the one word.
“Are you okay?” He stepped closer and stopped at the bottom of the steps. I couldn’t let him see me with tears streaming down my cheeks. I stayed seated in the dark and tried to sound nonchalant.
“I’m fine. What’cha doing out here?” I wasn’t successful at hiding the shakiness in my voice.
“I was about to ask you the same thing. I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”
“Yeah, well, it was kind of a last minute thing. How’d you know I was here?”
“I saw you cross the dance floor and I followed you. Plus, you seem to be molting again, Tweet.” He smiled at me and held up two yellow taffeta flowers from my skirt that had fallen off. No doubt the two that I had abused the most on the ride over here. “Can I sit next to you?”
A sharp pain pierced my stomach as my chest began to tighten. I quickly wiped under my eyes and stood up, but stayed in place. “No, I’m getting ready to leave. My parents will be here soon.”
“Why are you crying, Tweet?” His voice was warm and caring.
I had to think of something to tell him, so I lied. “Because my date dumped me half way through this stupid dance and ran off to dance with another girl.”
“Point him out and I’ll kick his ass. Any guy who would leave you is a douchebag.”
“Well, I seem to have an overabundance of them right now.” I cringed when that slipped out of my mouth. I didn’t want to argue with Noah. I just wanted him back.
Chuckling, he asked, “Would you do me a favor?”
“Depends on what it is.”
Noah extended his hand in my direction. “Dance with me?”
“I can’t go back in there, Noah. My parents are expecting me outside, so...”
“We don’t have to go inside,” he paused. “Please, Tweet.”
I couldn’t see his face clearly, but his voice was cracking as if he were fighting back tears. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and slowly walked down the stairs.
I took Noah’s hand and he guided me down the last few steps. We took a couple of steps back, landing us in the small pool of light. Noah slipped his other arm around my waist and pulled me in close. My breath hitched. I had chills from head to toe. He let go of my hand, palmed one side of my face and wiped my tears away with his thumb. Leaning his forehead against mine, he whispered, “You look beautiful. I like your hair up.”
I looked down hoping he wouldn’t notice my blood shot eyes. “There’s no music,” I said, softly.
Noah removed his hand from my face and wrapped his arm around my waist. My hands found their way behind his neck. Pressing his cheek to the side of my head, he placed his mouth right at my ear. We began to gently sway back and forth. In a low, barely audible voice, Noah started to sing ‘Everything’.
I shut my eyes tight. It was impossible for me to stop the tears from rolling down my face. I knew I had missed him over the past few days, but I didn’t realize how much until right now in his arms, where I felt safe. My body started shaking. I was no longer able to control my sobs. I burrowed my face into his chest. Noah stopped singing and tightened his hug.
He whispered in my ear, “I’m sorry. I’ve missed you so much. I tried to stay away until the urge to touch you went away, but it’s just gotten stronger.”
“Noah…,” was all I could choke out between sobs.
“You’ve always been my girl and always will be. No one will ever take me away from you, Tweet. You’re my heart and soul and that’s never going to change, no matter what you say.”
There was no other place on earth I wanted to be except in Noah’s arms, listening to his words. I was desperate to be with him. I was so in love with him that nothing else mattered. I barely survived three days without him. Maybe if I’m extremely careful and we take it super slow, we could be together. I could talk to Emily and find out what happened with her and Tyler, so it wouldn’t happen to me and Noah. In a split second, I decided I was going to tell him I loved him and had to be with him.
I took in a deep breath, “Noah, I …” Abruptly my words were interrupted by the sound of Beth calling his name. It broke the spell that was over us and we both took a step back.
“There you are,” Beth said as she rounded the corner. “Oh, hey Amanda. I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”
“It was a last minute thing.” Noah and I never took our eyes off one another.
Beth looked back and forth between the two of us. “What are you guys doing out here, anyway?”
“I wasn’t feeling well and needed some fresh air. Noah came out to check on me,” I answered.
“Are you okay now?”
“Not really. My parents will be here any minute, though.”
“Good.” Beth grabbed Noah’s arm and began to tug him away. “Come on.”
Noah had his feet planted, never budging. His eyes were still glued to me. “Did you have something you wanted to tell me, Tweet?”
I looked into those beautiful bright eyes that held love, pain, and longing. I knew they matched mine perfectly. I’m a firm believer in the theory that everything happens for a reason.
This belief helped me answer his question. “No. I was done.” I whispered. Disappointment and frustration crossed his face.
Beth tugged on his arm a little more forcefully. “We need to get back in there. We haven’t even danced together yet.” Surprise flashed in my eyes.
Before he let her pull him away, he gave me a slight smile. “Goodnight, Tweet,” he called back over his shoulder as he was being led away.
“Goodnight, Noah,” my voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. “You’re my heart and soul, too.”