Not a Chance (Sweet Nothings)

chapter TEN



Travis hiked back to the truck on his own. He didn't want Arden slipping through the slush and mud in those stupid heels of hers. When he got to the truck he was relieved to see that the ditch it was in wasn't nearly as deep as he'd remembered. With the snow mostly melted, he figured he wouldn't even have to disconnect Arden's car. It took a couple of tries to get the engine to turn over, but then it started. He climbed in and waited while it warmed up.

While he waited he thought about Arden. His Arden. In only four full days and nights he'd come to think of her as his. She was, too, she just wouldn't admit it to herself. Fine. Whatever. He could wait. He was fully aware and accepting of the fact that most people didn't fall in love as quickly as he did. He simply had the ability to see a person for who she was, flaws and all, and love her. It was the way all of his friendships had evolved.

He remembered meeting Tonya when they were kids. Only twelve. He'd whistled at her. She'd turned around and punched him in the face, making his nose bleed. And forever after he'd been in love. With Arden it felt almost exactly the same. He was twenty-plus years older than that first love, but the sensation was unmistakable. If he went home alone, he would be in a great deal of misery.

The truck warmed up, Travis shifted into first and pulled out of the ditch, fast enough to get out, but not so fast as to spin his tires in the soft, clay road. He made it out with no problems. Arden would be pleased. She wouldn't have to wait much longer to go back to her perfect life.

Inside the house, she was packing away the last of the romance novels and games into boxes. She'd already tidied the kitchen and re-covered the furniture. Earlier that morning they'd returned the mattress upstairs.

She looked up from where she knelt next to the box of books and smiled. "You got it out okay?"

"No problem," Travis said. He shoved his hands in his pockets and waited for her.

"Great!" She folded the box closed and then hopped to her feet. She wiped her hands on her skirt, the same one she'd worn when he'd first picked her up, and beamed at him. "Are we ready, then?"

He nodded. She was so happy. So happy to be going home. Not at all sad that she wouldn't be sleeping next to him tonight.

She skipped to the front door and had her hand on the handle when Travis came up behind her and put his hand on the door above her head, holding it closed.

"I need to say something before we go back and go our separate ways," he said.

She turned to him and the smile died on her face. "I wish you wouldn't," she said. "I think we've got a great start to a wonderful friendship and I'm afraid you're just going to ruin it."

"That's fine with me," he said. "I don't need another friend. What I do need is you. For however long I can have you. Forever would be my preference."

Her jaw jutted out slightly, she folded her arms over her chest and looked away. One of her many spoiled princess poses.

"I love you, Arden," he said. And his heart rate sped up at the sound of the words coming out of his mouth. The commitment of them. The excitement and possibility of them. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I love you," he said again.

She looked at him, her expression softening just a bit, although she was clearly trying with all her might to be hard. "Is that what you wanted to say?"

He swallowed down the ache in his chest. "Yeah. That's all. I just needed you to know."

She nodded. He dropped his hand and stepped back so she could open the door. He couldn't look at her. He waited, but she didn't open the door and so he had to look at her. Her hands fidgeted at her waist and she looked uncertain...a strange thing for her. "It's just...maybe if I was unhappy with my current arrangement with Nick...but I've got no reason to leave him."

Travis held his breath in and tried not to get excited. Maybe he could still sell this. "If you like me better, isn't that a good enough reason?"

She shook her head. "How would you feel if I promised to marry you and then found someone else I liked better and left you. That's not my idea of commitment. Nick and I have been together a very long time. Of course the passion has faded. It always does. So it would be wrong of me to drop a solid, promising relationship for the excitement of a new passion that will also fade someday."

"I understand, Arden. It makes sense. You're right in the hypothetical sense. But what's happened to you and Nick...it's not the same. If you loved him, there would still be passion. But you don't love him. It's wrong to stay with him when you don't love him."

"I don't like it when you tell me that I don't love him. I do. I always have. I'm staying with him and that's that. I'm not interested in you. You'd be fun for a few weeks and then I'd be bored."

Travis frowned, stung by the harshness of her words.

"I know you say you love me. But I don't love you. I think you're a great guy and I want to be friends. But that's it. Okay?"

He wanted to grab her and kiss her and make her love him. He watched her as she stood tall and cold and untouchable. She didn't want him. If she did she would touch him or show some sign of regret at refusing him or maybe even kiss him. But she put the whole world in between them and even though she was only an arm's length away, he couldn't have touched her if he tried.

He nodded. "Okay," he said, mentally cursing his weak voice. "If you change your mind..."

"I won't." She turned and opened the door and walked to the truck.

Travis followed.