“What about our mother, Samantha? She been here?” I didn’t know if I really wanted the answer to that question. I’d quickly figured out in my teen years that our parents weren’t the most supportive, and during the times they were needed the most they likely wouldn’t come through.
“Yeah. Matter of fact, she was here like two months ago. She got Aunt Claire to bring her. All she did was cry. That was like her third time coming to see me and I been in this bitch—what…like seven years? Yeah, seven years, not including my time in the county waiting out my trial. You da only one who visit me like that. That’s why I was like worried when I ain’t see you in a while. You usually come around every holiday.” Akeem was somewhat right. I would visit twice a semester and on breaks, which was primarily around the holidays.
“Yeah. Well, I’m here now. I don’t let your commissary go empty, do I?” I teased.
“Nah!” he said with a bashful smirk.
“I know I don’t. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna max your account today before I leave because I’ll be short on funds until the end of the summer,” I explained. The truth of the matter was that I knew that I had to focus on furnishing my house as soon as I hit the Pacific soil and that alone would wipe me out for a while. But no matter what, I always took care of my brother—even if it was with my last.
What he didn’t say was he knew I was alive because his commissary stayed with a balance and I wrote him often. The dummy never looked at the postmark on the envelop to figure out where I was. It was an endearing form of ignorance.
“How much longer do you have in here? I’d like to hug you soon!” I joked.
“On the up an up, I got like seven more years but my lawyer is tryna’ get that bitch reduced since I ain’t been getting into no trouble or nothing. Oh, and thanks for keeping him on your payroll, Na-Na. I appreciate dat shit like a muthafucka. Every time I hear from him I think about you ‘cuz I know if it wasn’t for you throwing a few dollars his way I wouldn’t even hear from that nigga.”
“No problem. Keep me posted. I’m surprised he hasn’t yelled it’s time to go yet,” I said referring to the guard. My time there had always seemed so short. I turned to see the guards still surveying the room. When I turned my attention back to Akeem I smiled, still admiring his features and being overtaken by the only warm memory of my childhood. My brother. We were damn near twins and had been through so much together.
“So Rayna, where you going once you leave here? Akeem asked like a child not wanting to separate from its mother.
“To put some money in your account, fool,” I quipped in an attempt to lighten the moment.
“No. For real, man!” he pleaded. I saw the desperation in his eyes, so I got serious.
“You know I’m getting on a plane, Keeme.” I sighed not wanting to make my life sound so grand when he’d be left in a tiny cell to live vicariously through me. It didn’t seem fair.
“Where, girl?” he demanded causing me to relent.
“Let’s see.” I pondered my answer aloud. “Just know I’m going somewhere sunny where the wind blows easily. I’m okay, Keeme! For real. Don’t worry. You got a birthday coming up in a couple of months. I’ll be back to visit for your birthday and I plan to give you something really nice.” I tried ending the conversation peacefully and with a twinge of hope. I tried to make him smile.