“I know it is.”
His feet were now warm to the touch, and I gave them a pat so he’d know I was finished as I helped him spin so that his head was back at the top of the bed.
“You ready for bed now? I promise not to cry and wake you like baby Vi.”
“Are you sure? You’ve been just about as whiny as her lately, Aunt Jane.”
The things that came out of that little man’s mouth never ceased to amaze me. “What?”
He moved in close for a snuggle, no doubt an attempt to soften the blow. I allowed him to rest his head on my shoulder as he spoke again.
“You heard me. Do you not like it here, Aunt Jane? ’Cause I would miss you like crazy, but I don’t want you to stay here just for me.”
“Oh, Coop.” My heart squeezed suddenly, causing an ache to root itself deep inside my chest. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have a child of my own—the constant overwhelming love so strong it was almost painful, and the way their words could devastate you completely. “I’m not staying here just for you. Everyone that I care most about in the world is here. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to.”
“Oh, good. That’s really good, Aunt Jane.”
He yawned and I knew now that his fear was comforted, it wouldn’t be long before he drifted off to sleep. Not that he would stay asleep for very long. Cooper had a reputation for rousing hours before anyone else of Mitchell descent ever dreamed of waking.
I leaned over to kiss the top of his head and hunkered back down in the bed. Cooper’s observational skills were as keen as ever. I wasn’t unhappy, only dissatisfied with the lack of purpose in my life here. With each passing day, I felt as if I were one step closer to the cliff’s edge, to losing my mind and, with it, everything that made me, me.
I had nothing to do with all of my time here. And time seemed to last forever in the seventeenth century. I now believed that anyone in present day who ever said they wished they could escape to a different time to enjoy a slower pace of life obviously never thought about what exactly that meant.
For me, the unmarried sister of the laird’s sister-in-law, it meant I lived my life in a weird state of pointlessness. I contributed nothing to the people who provided me with a lifestyle of pure luxury compared to most of those living on the outskirts of the castle—people who worked for everything they had, rising with the sun and working well into the night, all the while remaining thankful for each and every blessing.
My lack of real responsibility around the castle, or keep, made me feel like a lazy, spoiled moocher. And slowly, if it continued this way, I knew it would drive me mad in a matter of months.
Not to say I lived my life with a whole lot of purpose in present-day time. I knew what my family’s wealth had afforded me. At times, when I was younger, I took full advantage, wasting years doing just exactly what I pleased rather than participating as a productive, responsible member of society.
Fun and carefree I might have appeared, but that lifestyle slowly ate away at me in my old life just like it was doing here. Difference was, there were so many more distractions in the twenty-first century, so many more mind-numbing forms of entertainment and social activities to fill my days with and keep myself from thinking on it all that much. Here, the only thing I had to do with my time was think.
And think, I had. What Cooper didn’t know was that my strange, whiny behavior the past few weeks wasn’t out of unhappiness but instead out of anticipation and anxiety. I knew what I wanted, what I needed to do with all of my spare time, but I knew that it wouldn’t be considered appropriate. If I asked permission, which I absolutely refused to do anyway, no matter the time period, it would be denied.
I would have to keep my plans a secret from all but a few.
*
I woke the next morning to the shock of finding Cooper still sleeping soundly next to me. Baby Violet had certainly changed the flow of everything around the castle, but for none more so than Cooper, if she had the power to wear him out enough that he slept past five a.m.
I slipped out of the bed as silently as I could manage, moving across the room to wash my face in the basin of freezing water. With weather as cold as it was now, I wasn’t sure it was worth cleaning my face. For the sake of vanity, I gritted my teeth while I scrubbed the sleep from my eyes before pulling up my hair and dressing in a simple but thick green gown suitable for keeping out the bitter cold while riding. Not nearly as suitable as a pair of jeans and some boots, but it was as good as I could get away with here.
Once dressed, I stepped out into the hallway and right into the pathway of my sleep-deprived sister.
“Did Coop crash with you?”