“Lass, ye must allow me to bed ye.”
I tried to keep my face as straight as possible. “Oh? And why exactly is that? Not that it matters, because my final answer is a resounding no.”
“Ye must, lass. If ye willna do so, ye sentence me to a lifetime as laird. I doona wish to be laird, Jane. I can assure ye that ’twill be a pleasing experience for ye, and I can see by the look in yer eyes that ye want to bed me as well. Ye show modesty for Orick’s sake, so as no to embarrass the lad. Let me assure ye that there is no need.”
I wasn’t following anything that he said, so I chose to direct my attention to Orick. “What the hell is he talking about?
“Well, I doona ken what he meant by the last part. Yer eyes look fair disgusted with him by my sight, but ’tis only that yer rejection has placed him in such shock, delusions have found him. What he means by the other part is that his brother made him a wager that he couldna sleep with a lass in every territory that we visit. If he is able to, his brother will return in five years time to serve as laird in Adwen’s stead.”
“You’re joking? That’s the stupidest and most disgusting bet I’ve ever heard of.”
“Aye, ’tis, but he’s a damned fool, lass.”
Adwen stepped in between Orick and myself to silence him.
“Shut yer mouth, Orick. Do ye no see that I’m standing right next to ye? I can reason with the lass myself. Jane, there’s no need to be shy with me. If ye wish to bed me, there’s no harm in that. I’ll treat ye well and willna tell a soul.”
I shook my head, thinking back on the past many months I’d been in the seventeenth century. I’d not had sex in, by my count, more than eighteen months. My dreams had been so inundated with bare-chested men and chiseled abs, I knew I was very much in need of a good roll in the hay. Before this strange, twisted evening, I would have sworn I’d have jumped at the chance to sleep with a man as handsome as Adwen, especially if he was so adamant about sleeping with me. But, as I stood before him, all I could think was, what a crazy, stupid fool.
“I am not being shy, Adwen. I don’t wish to sleep with you at all.”
He surprised me by suddenly reaching forward and grabbing onto my apron, pulling it toward him. I reached up and slapped him hard in the face before backing away to point a stern finger in his face.
“You get your hands off me right this instant or I swear to you, I will shove your balls so far up your ass that you will never be able to ‘bed’ another ‘lassie’ for the rest of your life, do you understand me?”
He backed away guiltily, fear in his eyes as he held both hands up in surrender. “I was no going to touch ye, lass. I only meant to cut a piece of yer apron off.”
“Why would you want a piece of my apron?”
“To take back to my brother, so that I can lie to him and tell him I bedded ye.”
I reached down and covered the edges of my apron. “Nope. I’m not going to let you win that shameful, lowly bet that way. And a word to the wise—maybe ask a girl before you yank her toward you like that, especially if it’s just after you asked her to sleep with you a half a dozen times.”
“Ohhh…I like ye, lass. He’s needed someone like ye to cross him for a verra long time.” Orick stood to the side of us, grinning like a child on Christmas morning.
“Thank you, Orick. I’m finding myself to be very fond of you as well.” As I smiled in his direction, fatigue seemed to suddenly catch up with me. I was done—physically, mentally, emotionally. I’d not had a day this stimulating in years.
“Now, I think we’re done here, fellows. We’ve established that I like Orick, and Orick likes me and that you,” I nodded in Adwen’s direction, “Mr. Crazy-Horny-Douchebag, aren’t getting any sex from me, so I think it’s time we all call it a night. Come this way, and I’ll show you both to your rooms.”
*
I led them upstairs to the second floor, deciding to place them in the two rooms near the end of the hallway so that when Gregor and Isobel returned, they wouldn’t be disturbed. I wanted Orick, at least, to have a restful night’s sleep.
“You go in here, Orick, and I’ll bid you goodnight. I’ll head back to the castle once the innkeepers get home. It was such a pleasure meeting you, really. I’m so sorry you have to put up with this one all the time.”
He reached forward to take my hand and tenderly brought it up to his lips before bowing his head to me. “I canna say that I have enjoyed meeting a lass more in a verra long time. I have no had such a pleasurable evening in years.”