And I know Allie's secrets too. I know that her mother died and that her father basically lost his mind and couldn't work and couldn't take care of Allie and her sister. But I don't say a word.
I'm holding Willow's hand in mine under the table as she sits to the right of me and she squeezes my hand gently, her wide eyes staring at her plate.
"I'm just being HONEST, Evie," she says, laughing, an ugly snorting sound. "It's better if you face the truth." And why does every deliberately cruel person describe themselves as the perfect example of necessary bluntness? As if you are supposed to thank them for mowing over your heart with their special brand of honesty?
I don't answer and Allie soon enough finds something of more interest than me and my silence.
After a minute, I look up and the boy named Leo is staring at me. I stare back, but he doesn't look away.
"Why are you looking at me?" I hiss at him, my cheeks turning hot, filled with shame for the exchange he just heard.
He just keeps looking at me for a moment, and then he shrugs. "Because I like your face," he says, but now a corner of his mouth is quirking up in a half smile.
I know he's teasing me, but it doesn't feel mean and I like the way his words make me feel. I look away, but I'm holding back a smile now, too.
CHAPTER 6
I wake up the next morning feeling like I was hit by a mac truck. I still feel a lump form in my throat when I think of Leo dying in a car accident. I close my eyes and once again, I picture him, still smiling at me from a roof in wintertime. For the second time in my life, I leave him there in my mind.
I climb into a hot shower, taking all the time I want, not caring in the least about my hot water bill. Today is going to be about comfort. I'm going to laze around, eat ice cream, read and then head to Nicole and Mike's house for dinner. It's just what I need.
I take time drying my hair until it falls down my back in dark waves and dress in dark, skinny jeans and a white wraparound sweater that hits just below my butt. It's always made me feel pretty.
I realize I don't have any ice cream in the house and so I decide to head to the store for at least two pints. I'll run an extra mile tomorrow.
As soon as I step out the front door of my building, I see Jake leaning against a car, arms crossed and smiling straight at me. He's wearing a pair of worn looking jeans and a gray long sleeved, thermal shirt over a black t-shirt. This is the first time I've ever seen him wearing jeans, even during the week he followed me around town. It does not escape me that Jake Madsen fills out a pair of jeans really well.
I stop and cross my own arms, cocking my head to the right, "Need help 'finding your puppy' I suppose?"
"I was actually just going to offer you some candy. It's in my van over there." He's grinning now. Jesus, seriously, is it just me or has he gotten better looking overnight?
I can't help it, I grin back, shaking my head.
I start walking and he falls in step next to me, as I inhale his clean, woodsy scent. God, he smells good. I open my mouth slightly, wanting to taste his smell in my mouth, too. Oh my God, did I really just do that? My cheeks heat. Please don't let him have seen that! I don't know what came over me.
I turn and look up at his perfect profile. He must be at least 6'2". I'm 5'5". He's looking straight ahead though. I exhale in relief.
I break the momentary silence, "You know, I'm sure there are girls all over the city who would love the opportunity to be stalked by you. It really doesn't seem fair that you focus all your creepiness on me."
He smiles. "I've decided I like focusing on you, though, Evie." He's not smiling anymore. He glances over at me almost nervously, studying me with those soulful brown eyes.
I stop walking and cross my arms over my chest. He stops, too and I catch him take a quick glance at my breasts, now being plumped up by my arms. Oh, smooth. But I like that he looks, I can't help it.
"Look, Jake," I say seriously, "You caught me by surprise yesterday, about a person I haven't thought about in a long time, but I'm ok. You don't need to check up on me anymore. My life is fine. It's not exciting, it's not glamorous. But I have everything I need. I'm, um, happy." This last part comes out sounding a little bit more like a question than the statement I meant it to be but I decide to let that go.
Jake does his hand through hair, unsure look (arrgh! deal sealer!), and says, "I just thought maybe you looked a little upset when you left yesterday. And I did that to you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay today, not in general, but today."
He looks so sincere, like he was truly worried about me that I can't help but smile. "I was fine yesterday," I lie, "I don't like to hear about anyone meeting a tragic end, even someone I don't know anymore. But it's nothing that a little ice cream won't take care of. That's where I'm headed. Want to follow me to the grocery store? One last stalking for old time's sake?" I wink.
He laughs as we start walking again. "I don't think it's stalking if I get an invitation, but yes, I'd love to accompany you to the store."
"I don't know if I'm ready for this huge jump in status," I tease. "From stalker to chaperone in a day? You'll think I'm easy!"
"Just lead the way, smart ass," he says, grabbing my hand.
I jolt slightly and look down at our joined hands. Hand holding? Okay, this is a little weird. And there's that warm feeling again when our hands touch. Which only serves to further weird me out. He's just being nice, Evie because he thinks he's unbalanced you. Get yourself together! It makes me uncomfortable though, so I pull my hand away, pretending to search through my purse for my sunglasses. I pop them on even though it's not sunny at all and latch both hands onto my purse strap so he's not tempted to resume the hand holding again.
I steal a glance at him and he's frowning slightly but doesn't say anything as we continue walking.
This whole situation is weirder than weird.