We walked north out of town, across fields of dried grasses that grew rockier and greener the closer we came to the river.
Of course, the river. Water beckoned to Evan. He went and I followed.
The Center marker wasn’t as decorative as the one at the visitor’ center in town. Just a heavy iron plug in the ground with a bunch of surveyor’s marks and symbols. We stood over it, the wind rippling our clothing and the first drops of rain falling.
“What happens now?” I asked.
“Won’t be long,” he said, looking over my shoulder. “It’s almost over.”
I turned. Police cars were turning down the dirt road running parallel to the river. One car, two, three. Four cruisers speeding in the darkening night. Coming toward us.
“Come on,” Evan said.
We ran along the river that churned with white foam and roared against a high wall of rock. We picked our way to the shore, stumbling over rocks, our clothing snagging on bushes. I stared at the churning water. The rain was coming down hard now.
“This is it, Jo,” Evan shouted over the roar of the river and the rain. “You’re going to be okay.”
“No,” I cried, clutching the front of his jacket. This was the end but I couldn’t take it. Cold terror shook me apart, rising up in me like a deadly tide. “We should never have come here. It’s a mistake. A terrible fucking mistake.”
“It’s not a mistake. It’s exactly right. It’s how you’ll be safe.”
“Safe? From the police?” I cried. “They’ll arrest me and I’ll let them because I’m not letting you go, Evan. Whatever you’re planning…”
“Then we’ll never be together, Jo,” Evan cried. “You have to let me take it; Lee and the fire…Let me take it with me, or there is no us. No little life. No going home.”
In the woods behind us came sweeping cones of flashlight beams and barking dogs.
I stared at the churning water that looked so black and cold and merciless. “You’ll be free,” I murmured through numb lips.
“Yes.” Evan pulled me closer. “They won’t let me go, Jo. They’ll never leave me alone. I’ll never be what I want to be. You have to let me do this.”
Lightning cracked the sky and the rain came in sheets. Beneath us, the river roared like a starved, caged animal. The lights were getting closer, casting wider nets in their beams. Evan moved closer to me, the rainwater dripping off his nose and chin.
“Remember what I said to you. What I swore to you?”
“Y-yes.”
“Say it.”
My heart jackhammered against my ribs as the rain collided with my tears. “You’ll always come back to me.”
“And it’s still true,” Evan said. “I will always come back to you. Tell me you believe it. Let me hear you say you believe me, Jo.”
“Step away from the girl!” cried a man’s voice. Out of the woods emerged a dozen men in uniform, leveling their weapons at us.
“Tell me, Jo,” Evan cried over the roar of the water. “If you love me, tell me you believe. Tell me, please,” he pleaded. “Please.”
I nodded, my head bobbing mutely and then I found my voice. “I believe you.”
His hands took my shoulders. “Then you’re safe now. They have nothing on you. When you leave this place I want you to go home.”
“Step away from the girl and put your hands up!”
The police were drawing closer, taking wide steps over rocks and brush, their weapons balanced on their wrists and crossed with flashlights.
“Go home, Jo.” His fingers touched my scar. “Promise me.”
Home.
The place where the river had cut the earth’s face, made a scar wide and deep and beautiful.
“Let her go! Hands up!”
“I promise,” I cried.
Evan smiled, relief flooding his face. “I love you, Jo,” he said, pushing me gently away from the river’s edge, away from him.
I refused to let go. “I love you. I love you, Evan. Please don’t…”
The cops were done warning us. They surged forward and Evan’s gentle push grew stronger, and I stumbled back a step. The muddy shore gave way beneath us, and Evan’s feet slipped. He teetered over the water. I lunged for him, grabbing his jacket to haul him back.
“Jo, no!” Evan screamed, but I snagged his arm. He fell back into the churning river, taking me with him.
The water hit me like an icy slab and sucked me under. Cold, wet blackness enveloped me, pushing and pulling like a dog worrying a toy in its teeth. Under, deeper. I couldn’t see the surface, couldn’t see anything, only sensed I was being sucked further away from shore. The icy pressure squeezed my lungs. My legs kicked for the surface, numb and heavy against the water’s relentless pressure.
Evan!