It’s a rhetorical question. No one has the answer for that, and I don’t offer one.
“It’s not fair. They’re smart and funny. Good kids. They don’t deserve this.”
“No one does.”
His pained eyes meet mine. “You didn’t have to come.”
I nearly laugh at that because of course I did. Not only because I care about these kids, but because I can’t accept that Rhett and I can’t be together. All I’ve thought about the past month is him and how I want him.
How I can’t force myself into the box created by my father, no matter how badly I want to do good things with my grandfather’s company. I’ll just have to find another way.
Because I want Rhett.
But now’s not the time to tell him. Now, all I can do is be here for him. The night drags on, and neither of us really sleep. We don’t talk either, though, because there’s nothing else to say right now. It’s bullshit that assholes like the man who beat Max up exist. That they can hurt kids and get away with it for too long before someone finally intervenes.
The next day, Max is well enough to go home, and the doctors release him into Blair’s care. He’s dazed and clearly tired, but he goes with Ian and her back to her house. Rhett goes with them to get them settled, saying a quick thank you and goodbye to me. But I’m not done with him.
I say goodbye, but I know it’s not permanent. Not this time.
I go to my parent’s house, where it’s quiet after the party they threw yesterday for Thanksgiving. The house is pristine, which means the housekeepers have diligently done their job, as always.
I’m looking for my father but see no sign of him. He’s probably flown off somewhere already, unable to stand family life for too long. I do find my mother, passed out with a satin eye mask on her face and wine glass next to her on the couch.
“Mom.”
She stirs but doesn’t wake.
I need to do this before I lose my nerve. I need to tell someone. “Mom,” I say again, louder this time.”
She sits up from her slouched position on the couch, removing the eye mask and glaring at me. “What?”
Yeah, I’ve always been an inconvenience to this woman, but I assume she’ll be the easier of the two to break the news to, so I just go for it. “I’m gay.”
Her nose crinkles in instant disgust as she sits up straighter and blinks at me. “What did you just say?”
I stand firm. For Rhett but also for me. Because I can’t hide this anymore like some sort of disgusting secret. It’s not. What I feel for Rhett is beautiful. “I’m gay,” I repeat.
She scoffs, annoyed as she looks over at the empty wine glass, clearly disappointed there’s none left. “No. You’re not.”
“Yes, I am.” I can’t believe she’s being like this. I mean, I can, but I can’t. I thought she’d be the easy one. Which I guess speaks volumes about how difficult it will be with my father, but I don’t care.
“You’re not. And even if you were . . .” She stands, and her eyes—that everyone has told me my whole life are exactly like mine—bore into me. “You’ll change that. It’s unacceptable.”
“It’s not something I can or even want to change. I’m in love.” It feels good to say it out loud, despite her sour face.
She snorts. “Love. Please. This is ridiculous. Stop saying these things.”
I lean in. “I’m gay, and I’m in love, and I don’t give a fuck what you think about it. I’m quitting school and moving back here to be with him.”
Her eyes are shooting daggers in my direction, but I don’t back down. “No. You aren’t. You’ll lose everything, you know that. He’ll never give the company over to a . . .” She waves her hand in the air, looking for the appropriate hateful word, I’m sure.
“I don’t care.”
“No?” She might actually be evil. “You don’t care about your grandfather’s company? I know you do, Grayson.”
Of course, she’d try to use that against me. “I don’t care. I’ll build something else.”
She scoffs derisively, “With what? You have nothing without us, and you’ve been nothing but a disappointment.”
“How can you say that to me?” She’s baiting me, and it worked. My voice rises. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked. I’ve been your goddamn puppet, and even then, you didn’t care. Ever. You couldn’t be fucking bothered to care. I’m done.” And I am. “No matter what I did, I couldn’t please you, even though I did everything according to your plan.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Grayson.”
“I’m telling dad face-to-face, and then I’m done with both of you. I don’t care anymore. I can’t live my life like this for one more second.”
“It’s a phase.” She steps closer to me. “And you will not tell your father. He’ll blame me.”
“Are you kidding me?” I have to step back, away from her. My hands are shaking with rage, and I fight angry tears. “This is not about you. This is me. I’m gay, and I have a chance to be happy. Really happy. And I know, deep down, that grandpa would want that for me. But even if he wouldn’t, I don’t care. I’m not living my life for anyone else anymore.”
I storm from the house and out to my car, driving to the only place I want to be. I’m relieved when I see Rhett’s car in the drive and rush up the stairs, pounding on his door.
Rhett answers in a pair of dark-gray sweats and nothing else, looking confused with his hair mussed. I guess he was sleeping, but I don’t feel bad about waking him because this can’t wait. I fall into his arms, nearly knocking him over. “I can’t do this anymore. I hate her. I hate them.”
He grasps my face in his hands as I cling to his waist. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I told her.”
He searches my eyes, looking completely confused. “Told who what?”
I’m not making sense as I start to sob, letting it all out. Years and years of repression, of living my life according to what they wanted. Of never allowing myself to be me. “It’s not worth it.”
“I hate this, Grayson. I hate seeing you broken like this. Tell me what happened.” He pulls me into his apartment, closing the door behind us as he guides me to the couch, my body resting on his.
“I love you.”
He freezes, but I’m not worried because I know he loves me too. And no matter what his first reaction is—even if it’s his typical no—I know he loves me. “Tell me what happened.”
“I’m done. I told my mother I’m gay and I’m quitting school and moving back here because I love you and I want to. I want this more than anything.”
I’m wrapped around him, my face buried in his chest. “You don’t have to blow up your life for me. We can figure this out.”
I shake my head, breathing him in and relishing the feeling of his warm, bare skin. “I hate school. And he was never going to give me the business. Ever. Nothing I do is ever good enough. Maybe I can get an art scholarship or something. I’ll work until I can afford to take classes. I don’t care. I just want to finally be me.”
I swear I can feel him smiling as he gently pulls me up to meet his eyes. “You are beautiful.” I smile, my eyes wet with tears. But I don’t care when his thumb strokes over my cheek, and his eyes tell me what his mouth is about to even before he says, “I love you too.”
I smile at him, kissing his full lips and not having a care in the world because Rhett loves me too.
We’ll figure everything else out.
FORTY-EIGHT
Waking up to Grayson’s warm tongue gliding its way over my abs is probably the best way I can think to wake up. Everything this week has been a clusterfuck, but most of it good.
Max getting hurt was the worst thing, but now, I know he’s somewhere safe. Somewhere no one can ever hurt him again. He’s settled into my old room, while Ian took Fletcher’s. Blair took them both shopping to buy them their own things, unique to them, to make it their home, just like she did for us.
And just like us, they still don’t trust it. Not yet, but they’re getting there.
Seeing how angry Grayson was with the whole situation, how he stayed there with us and made sure we were okay, only solidified my love for him. But I still couldn’t say it out loud.
When he showed up at my place, wrecked, I knew then I would do everything I could to keep him.
Our age doesn’t matter. His parents don’t matter. When it’s love, and when it’s real, you just have to go for it. I’ve learned that from him and from watching Blair and Rhys over the years. Their love wasn’t easy, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be. At least not all the time.
You make the decision to be together, and that’s it. That part is easy, so you can take on all the rest. All the difficult things become easier because you’re with the person you love.
And that’s what we’re going to do.