“That’s because I just started working here.”
“Two months ago,” Jules said, rolling her eyes.
“Two months is not a lot of time to meet a guy.” God, had it been two months already? I definitely had to get out more. But overtime at the university paid well—really well—and I was saving up. “Plus I have to work.”
“Work, schmerk. Come out to the bars for once. Isn’t it your birthday soon?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Yes. Next week.” I sighed. I was turning twenty-three, and I was still a junior at college. Well, now not even a junior, unless I could get financial aid. All around me, I saw people a year or two younger than me graduating, getting jobs. And here I was, falling even further behind them. Ugh.
“I can’t, Jules. My loans fell through, and if I don’t save enough for tuition, I—”
“—won’t be able to come back next semester,” Jules said, finishing my sentence for me. “You know, you don’t have to spend money at a bar. I’ll buy you a drink. Guys will buy you drinks. Especially if it’s your birthday.”
“I don’t want a guy to buy me a drink. They always think that I owe them something afterward.”
“You do. Just like you owe me some sex from the last time I covered you for a six-pack.”
“Is that an offer? I don’t even know how lesbian sex works.”
“It would work better than your current sex life. Or lack thereof.”
“Oh, man, better call the fire squad, I just got burned.”
“No, but seriously, I’m ready to do a sex intervention, Kat. A sextervention.”
“That’s not a word.”
“Stop being so boring.”
“Boring?” My mouth dropped open. “I am not boring!”
Compared to Jules, I was boring. If a seventies punk rock star had sex with a Japanese schoolgirl and had a baby, that baby would be her wardrobe. Her hair was buzzed and spiked except for her long bangs, her tongue was pierced - along with a few other body parts - and her roster of guys—and girls—rotated as quickly as her clothes selection.
“When’s the last time you kissed a guy? Or flirted with one?”
“I haven’t seen a lot of guys around,” I said, shifting my weight from one foot to another. I knew that was an excuse. There were plenty of hot guys around the university. I just didn’t want to be rejected again. It seemed like every girl at school was a hot blonde sorority chick, and I was a mousy brown pile of nothing. Even when I put on makeup, it seemed futile.
And there was something more than that. The boys I’d dated... they’d always been vanilla. Maybe it was all of the books I’d read, but I wanted more. I wanted the whips and ties, the spanking, the whole shebang. But I had always been too shy to bring it up except once, and the guy had looked at me like I was crazy.
Maybe I was crazy. Maybe nobody actually did that in real life. I couldn’t help but dream of a man who could dominate me the way I really wanted, even if he didn’t exist. I shook the dream out my head. I definitely wasn’t telling Jules any of that.
“Plus, they would never go for me. I’m not even a student here anymore now.”
Jules pushed the elevator button and held out a fist in front of me.
“Look. Do you see this? What is this?” She waved her fist inches from my nose.
“Um. Are you going to punch me?”
“No.”
“Are you trying to teach me sign language?”
“No.”
“Is this you coming out to me as a member of the Black Panthers?”
Jules opened her fist to show an empty hand.
“This.”
“There’s nothing there.”
“Exactly. This,” she said, waving her empty hand around, “is all the fucks I give about you not being a student. I don’t care. Nobody cares. All the guys looking to get laid do not give a single solitary fuck about you not being a student.”
“Fine. Fine.” Jules may not have had the most eloquent way of getting a point across, but it got there. “You tell me what to do to get a boyfriend, I’ll do it.”
Jules held the elevator door open for me. I pushed the library cart in. She followed and smashed the elevator button for the third floor with her fist. I winced.
“Okay, look. The next cute guy you meet, you have to kiss.”
“What?!” My pale skin immediately blushed red hot. “No way.”
“Way.” Jules raised an eyebrow at me. “You said you would.”
“I...” I looked over at my coworker. She raised a fist, and I knew my pleas would fall on deaf ears. She truly gave no fucks, and she also might punch me.
“Fine,” I said, plotting to leave work early so I wouldn’t have to get dragged to a bar. If I never saw a cute guy, I wouldn’t have to kiss him. Right? Right. My plan would work perfectly.
“Fine?”
“Fine. You know what, fine. I will.”
“Good.”
“If it’ll get you to shut up about my dating life.”
“Or lack thereof.”
“Or lack thereof,” I repeated.
“Excellent,” Jules said. “You might escape a life of boring tedium yet.”