He pulled the surgical mask from his face.
Panic and fear raced through his veins. All he could see was Julia’s face, her arms stretched out from her body as if she were on a cross.
In Gabriel’s mind he was in the backyard of his house in Selinsgrove, walking toward the woods. He’d trod that path a thousand times. He could navigate it in the dark. Now it was daylight.
As he approached the woods, he heard a voice calling his name.
He turned around to see Grace standing on the back porch, beckoning him.
“Come back.”
He shook his head, pointing in the direction of the orchard. “I have to go get her. I’ve lost her.”
“You haven’t lost her.” Grace smiled patiently.
“I have. She’s gone.” Gabriel’s heart rate quickened.
“She isn’t gone. Come home.”
“I have to go and get her.” Gabriel scanned the trees for any sign of Julianne before entering the woods. His steps quickened until he was running, branches snapping and scraping at his clothes and face. He stumbled to his hands and knees just as he entered the clearing. He scanned the area quickly, and an anguished cry escaped from his lips as he realized Julianne was nowhere to be found.
Chapter Eighty-six
I can’t believe we lost one.”
“Neither can I. Two emergency c-sections at the same time. At least only one went south.” The voice sighed. “I hate nights like this.”
“Me, too. Thank God our shift is over.”
It took a few minutes for Gabriel to open his eyes. Had he been asleep or . . .
He rubbed at his chin. He didn’t know. One minute, he was in the woods behind his house, the next he could hear nurses talking.
His head began buzzing as his memory of Julianne lying on the table, pale and unmoving, came back to him.
The nurses must have been talking about her.
I can’t believe we lost one.
He fought back a sob as he heard footsteps, his eyes focusing on a pair of ugly shoes. It was grossly inappropriate, he knew, but he couldn’t help but notice how thick and unflattering they were. As if they were made of wood.
What a waste of a perfectly good podiatric opportunity.
He lifted his head.
The nurse, whom he hadn’t seen before, gave him a restrained smile. “I’m Angie, Mr. Emerson. Would you like to meet your daughter?”
He nodded and stumbled to his feet.
“I’m sorry you were sitting there so long. Someone should have brought you to her before, but things have been really busy and we’ve just had a shift change.”
She led him into an adjoining room, where a bassinet was situated. Another nurse was standing nearby, writing on a chart.
Gabriel walked over to the bassinet and looked down.
A little bundle of white lay motionless. He saw a reddish face, and black hair that was partially covered by a tiny, purple knitted cap.
“She has hair.”
Angie stood next to him. “Yes, lots of hair. She’s almost nine pounds and nineteen inches long. She’s a good-sized baby.”
Angie picked up the child, cradling her. “We’ll give you a wristband that matches hers so we know she’s yours.”
The second nurse affixed a white plastic wristband on Gabriel’s right wrist.
“Would you like to hold her?”
He nodded, wiping his cold, clammy palms on his green surgical scrubs.
Angie gently placed the baby in his arms. Immediately, the child opened large, dark blue eyes and looked up at him.
Their eyes met and Gabriel felt as if his entire world stopped.
Then she yawned, her tiny rosebud mouth expanding greatly, before she closed her eyes again.
“She’s beautiful,” he breathed.
“Yes, she is. And she’s healthy. It was a difficult delivery, but she’s fine. You’ll notice that her face is a bit swollen, but that will come down.”
Gabriel lifted the baby so she was inches from his face.
“Hello, Spring Roll. I’m your daddy and I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time. I love you so much.”
He held her close, listening to her tiny breaths, feeling her little heart beat through the swaddling material.
“My wife,” he croaked, not bothering to blink away the tears that had re-formed in his eyes.
The nurses exchanged a look.
“Did Dr. Rubio talk to you?” Angie asked.
Gabriel shook his head, holding the baby tightly.
Angie looked to the other nurse, who frowned.
“She should have spoken to you by now. I’m sorry about that. It’s been very busy, as I said, and there was a shift change.” Angie gestured to a nearby chair. “Why don’t you sit down with your daughter, and I’ll go see if I can find the doctor.”
Gabriel did as he was told, holding his daughter close to his heart.
The nurses’ expressions said it all.
There would be no happy reconciliation.
There would be no vision of Julia holding their child.
He’d lost her. As surely as Dante had lost Beatrice, he’d lost his beloved.
“I’ve failed you,” he whispered.
Hugging his daughter close to his chest, Gabriel cried.
Chapter Eighty-seven