I stand under the hot spray, allowing it to pulsate down on the top of my head. I think I’ve been dreading this day most of all. Secretly I was hoping it would never arrive, that my days would just replay themselves over and over again, like a music track I’m trying to dub.
I shut off the water once it turns cold and don’t bother to dry off as I fall back onto the bed. I could strangle Sam for waking me up. I know she does it on purpose because she doesn’t want me to forget she’s there… in the background pushing for the title of girlfriend. She loves to accompany me on the red carpet. The thought that the press thinks we’re a couple is thrilling to her. Sam wants the full package; the money, the fame and her face on every magazine and she thinks I’m the ticket. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve told her.
I don’t want her.
I wake for the second time when the hotel phone rings. The front desk calls to tell me my suit is being brought up and that the rental car I ordered is waiting for me out front. I didn’t think showing up to my buddy’s funeral on my Ducati would be very appropriate.
I dress in my black pinstriped suit. Sam ordered three new dress shirts in basic colors, black, white and blue. I opt for white with a black tie, simple and sleek.
With one last look in the mirror I pocket my sunglasses. I may be known as Liam Page, but today I’m Liam Westbury and I’m going to mourn the passing of my friend.
The drive to the church is quick. I’m sitting in the parking lot contemplating my next step. I don’t want to take the attention away from Katelyn so I’m trying to just sneak in right before it starts, then I’ll be able to sneak out. I can pay my respects and say my peace at the cemetery before leaving town tomorrow.
When the last of the stragglers are in, I make my way toward the doors. Music plays from the inside, barely audible but it’s an instrumental of our high school fight song. You’d think Mason planned this himself.
I pull open the heavy door and stand there until it shuts quietly. I walk over to the guest book and sign my name so that when Katelyn looks back she’ll know I was here even if we didn’t talk.
“I didn’t think you’d show up.”
I turn to see Katelyn standing behind me. She’s wearing a knee length black dress with a black hat on. She doesn’t look a day over eighteen.
“I have no excuses Katelyn. I just came to pay respects.”
“I don’t care –”
“I’ll go. I’m not here to ruin your day. I’m very sorry for your loss.” I return the pen to the pedestal and nod at her. Her hand on my arm halts my escape. She wants to yell at me and I deserve it. I deserve everything she and Josie want to throw at me.
“I’m a pallbearer short,” she says, taking a deep breath. “I was hoping you’d show up, maybe a bit earlier than five minutes before the ceremony, but whatever. I’m not going to judge you, Liam. But I am going to ask you to walk Mason toward his final resting place and be by his side until he’s safe again.”
There are tears pooling in my eyes. I told myself I wouldn’t cry, but I can’t help it.
“I’d be honored.” I manage to get out before losing it all. She nods and tells me to follow her. We walk through a door and a collective gasp falls over the room. I recognize a few guys from high school, but the one that stands out is Nick. He being here is shocking. They were never friends in high school. Guess life changes a lot over ten years.
Katelyn tells everyone on the left side to shift down one. “He’d want to be on your left.” She places her hand on my face and leans in to kiss me on my cheek. Mason married a fine woman.
We receive our cue and heft Mason off the cart holding him up. When the vestibule doors open everyone turns. The hushed murmurs and finger pointing make me feel like I’m eating dinner in a crowded restaurant and they’ll all be asking for my autograph the minute my plate is taken away.
With Mason in the center, his flowers draped over his casket, the other pall bearers take their seats. I watch as Nick sits down next to Josie and pulls her hand into his. I’m seeing nothing but red, she won’t even look at me. But Noah waves at me and I wave back causing Nick’s face to turn an ugly shade of green.
When I look down a little girl is tugging at my suit, her hand slips into mine and she pulls me over to sit with her. She has to be one of Mason and Katelyn’s twins. The other one gets up and sits on my other side, holding my hand too. Katelyn looks at me and smiles. I don’t know if she made this happen, but I’ll be forever grateful.
This is my first funeral and hopefully my last. I never want to experience this ever again. As the pastor talks about Mason’s life, I realize how much I’ve missed. When I look over at Noah, he’s watching me and I wonder if he knows who I am. Did Josie ever tell him about me? Nick looks pissed and that sort of makes me laugh. I didn’t like him in high school and the fact that he’s holding my girl’s hand isn’t sitting all that well with me, but that’s my issue and something I’ll have to deal with.