“Jesus, Lucas,” I groaned and waved my hand about. “Can we not talk about it at the party?”
“Why? You actually want to enjoy yourself tonight?” He took that moment to hold me out at arm’s length. “You upped the costume game with this fucking outfit. I always wanted to fuck the shit out of Harley Quinn.”
I lifted an eyebrow.
“And I want to even more now that I’m staring at you.” He chuckled.
“You’re an idiot,” I told him. I knew that Lucas was gay, but no one else did. His parents were very strict with their beliefs, and it frustrated me every day that he didn’t tell them to shove it. Lucas was perfect in every way to me, his parents be damned. Hiding who you are took a toll, but it wasn’t about when I was ready. He had to be ready and accepting his process was most important to me.
“I’m just saying the female form is a beautiful thing . . . especially yours, okay?”
I took the compliment with a shrug. “If you say so.”
“Hey, a girl’s been eyeing me up from marketing all night. Just play along.” He winked at me as he said it quietly. I was practically the man’s beard half the time.
“I’m here to be whatever you need,” I whispered into his ear and laughed.
“You know how I know that’s true?” he asked as he took me by the waist and started walking me to the bar. “Gerald practically foamed at the mouth the last time he saw us together, and you didn’t falter once.”
“Yeah, well, Gerald and I are no more.” I looked toward the ceiling, trying not to make it a bigger deal than it was. Quite frankly, it was nothing compared to what had just happened to me in the elevator.
He glanced at me with his light-blue eyes and didn’t even bother hiding the delight in them. “Thank fuck.”
“Lucas!” I shoved his massive shoulder, but it didn’t move at all. “I’m sad.”
“What for?” He waved off the idea and then flashed me a look of concern, his brows furrowing. “Really? Because if you need to get out of here, we can go.” Lucas was as much my sponsor as I was his.
“No. No. I want you to enjoy yourself, and it's good for me to be out mingling and networking.”
“This isn’t a work event, Izzy.” He scoffed as we got to the bar and waved over the bartender to ask for a nonalcoholic cocktail for me.
I smiled at him remembering my drink order. “It’s the definition of a work event, Lucas. Even if we’re supposed to have fun, we showcase our best selves for the corporation. They might not say it, but our bosses are watching us.”
“Are they?” He glanced around wildly. “Show me where Cade is then.”
“Well, whatever. Juda is the manager. We don’t need the boss here.”
Lucas laughed. “I don’t think Juda has done any work since you relocated.”
I rolled my eyes. “Hey, I’m happy he gives me his work so I’m not stuck doing generic IT all day.” I’d been assigned that on my first day and been seething mad, but Juda had been more than ready to offload his duties to me when I’d complained.
He chuckled. “You know, if Cade were here, he’d probably thank you for working two jobs instead of one.”
That comment had me gulping down my Shirley Temple rather than responding. What annoyed me was that I didn’t want to share my encounter with Cade in the elevator just yet. It was as if I was holding on to our ridiculous moment, like it was ours. Why did it feel special when it shouldn’t? Why could I tell Lucas about Gerald but not Cade?
I hated that I wondered where he’d gone, why he’d haunted the beginning of my night only to disappear into the shadows when the party was a public display of our accolades. He’d come for that, right? What other reason would he have to be here?
“Well, he chose to not be a part of the night.” I shrugged. “We can celebrate ourselves and have a good night without him.”
Lucas whooped and dragged me back through the swarms of costumed up employees to our team. Penelope welcomed us back, asked how my family was, and I continued the small talk by saying they were all well. I’d expected questions about them because I’d taken a day off to go visit Dante and Delilah in the hospital as they welcomed their first baby two months ago.
Of course, Cassie, with her dark-brown hair bouncing under the gold Wonder Woman headband, jumped in. “Happy to hear she’s doing fine with baby number one, but why don’t we talk about your four brothers instead? They all still single?” She’d gleaned this information from me just a week ago as she walked past my desk and caught a recent picture I’d displayed of my siblings surrounding me while I held our new niece.
Penelope looked confused. “You have four brothers?”
“Girl, check out her desk next time you walk by. Everyone in that photo is a sibling. One of them is in the freaking NFL.”
“Oh my God. Those are your brothers?” Penelope leaned in, suddenly very invested in talking to me. The funny thing was, that picture of us all was the worst we’d ever taken. After staying up all night worried about Delilah delivering the first child of our family’s next generation, we resembled zombies, not humans. Yet, the smiles on our faces were the biggest you’d have ever seen.
“Right? And they look like they’re just doting on that baby. Such good brothers and great dating material.” Cassie sighed, completely in love with them all.
I chuckled. “Probably only the former considering they are all still single.” I could only give them credit for being the best family. They’d been there for me as I struggled to maintain my sobriety, even after nine years. On my worst days, I kept it for them and the rest of my family. To make them proud. To show them I was worthy of their love.
“Okay. Okay. Let’s give Izzy a breather.” Lucas changed the subject. “Who’s coming to Keep Minding our Minds next week?” Lucas asked. “I’ve got an idea for bringing more people into the group.”
I winced. Lucas had taken mental health at Stonewood Enterprises to the next level over the past year, and he dragged me along for some of it. He thrived on helping others, and I wanted to be the same. I wanted to think I could aid others in their healthy recovery, but at the same time, I wondered if the only person I was made to help was Lucas.
“I should probably work while you host all that.”
“You’re so great though, Izzy. You helped me through my breakup last week when you shared your story about your boyfriend. You and Gerald are goals,” Cassie pointed out.
God. Last week I’d gone and shared how being strong when your boyfriend was away could nurture your relationship. I used Gerald and myself as examples to show Cassie she didn’t have to worry about someone cheating on her and that, if they did, it was their fault.
Except Gerald had found someone else.
And I was the fool now. And I’d made it even worse by letting Cade get to me in the elevator. I’d been reckless and irresponsible.
Thankfully, Lucas steered the conversation to a different topic. “Hey! Remember when Cassie told her ex she’d just been promoted to data analyst, and he didn’t believe her?”
Penelope blurted, “Yeah, what an asshat. Cassie’s been killing it.”
“In all fairness, I make Izzy help me with half of it.” Cassie shrugged and eyed me apologetically. “By the way, I have a work question for you on Monday. I might need your assistance with some coding.”
“Of course.” I sprang at the chance to help her. “Just put it on my task list, and we’ll get on it first thing.”
Braxton added that he might need a hand with something too, then Lucas rolled his eyes, grumbling quietly enough for only me to hear, “They’ll have you do everything if they can.”
I nudged him hard. People needed teachers so they could learn and do it themselves in the future. Plus, I enjoyed the work, even if a certain boss wouldn’t give me a promotion and my now ex-boyfriend had complained about my work ethic putting a strain on our relationship. Sighing, I straightened and tried not to dwell on it.
As the small talk continued, Lucas whispered, “Take a break and walk around. Then let’s leave. You don’t need to be here right now.”
I chewed on my cheek. I thought I’d buried my emotions, but Lucas sensed them all better than I ever could. Sometimes good friends knew the limits of your heart better than you knew it yourself.
4
Izzy
I sped off, wanting to get away from it all. Wanting to stop the thoughts. Wanting Gerald and Cade to get out of my head. I weaved through dancers and around tables and got back to the elevator quickly. I hit my floor so I could go back to my desk and decompress. Working was my happy place, even if I had to do it dressed as Harley Quinn.