I turn in the mirror and see them extending down my back. No way. It couldn’t have been real. But I can smell her. The smell of lavender filters through the air. I remember the taste of her lips and the way she kept telling me it wasn’t a dream.
Well, then where the fuck is she?
The room is cleaned more than I could’ve done last night. I rush out to the living room to find it picked up as well. Son of a bitch. She really was here. The night comes flooding back, and I slap myself for thinking it was a dream. She kissed me before she left and told me she loved me. I was already half dead between the intense sex and extreme hangover I was nursing. Within seconds, I was passed out again thinking I dreamt it all.
I grab my phone and text her.
Me: When can I see you again?
Natalie: Soon. I promise.
I hope it’s sooner than later. I miss her already, but I can’t say that. She’s got a whole host of bullshit on her plate.
Me: We should talk about what happened.
Natalie: I’ll call you tonight.
Me: Okay, sweetheart. I’m glad you came over last night.
And I am. Even though I wasn’t sure if it actually happened, it means a lot to me. She was thinking of me enough to sneak out and come over. Of course, I feel like a monumental shitbag for sleeping with her when her husband is home, but he lost her. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Natalie: Me too. No more drinking like that. I’m on my way to work. I need to get a break from my mind.
I decide not to respond. I need to figure out what the hell to do. I’m on leave, so I don’t have to be anywhere. I grab my keys knowing exactly what I need to do today. Aaron and I need to talk, and since he’s home alone—looks like it’s my perfect opportunity.
Of course my luck runs out when the lights flash behind me. Motherfucker.
The cop strolls over to the driver’s side door with his aviators and I’m-bad-ass walk. I would like to dropkick this guy and he hasn’t even spoken. I must remain calm since the last thing I want is a ticket.
“Good morning, do you know why I pulled you over?” Officer Brock asks.
Yeah, because you saw a bright red hot rod.
“Sorry, Officer. I must’ve been speeding?” I say more as a question. I seriously have no fucking clue what I did.
“You were speeding. This is a thirty-five. I need your license, registration, and insurance.”
I pop open the glove box and grab the papers, handing them over along with my military ID. The officer looks them over and nods. “You’re active?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I don’t think you meant to hand me this,” he says and hands me over an envelope with my name on it. I look at it and realize it’s the letter from Aaron. “I’ll let you go with a warning. Just slow it down. Thank you for your service.” He hands the rest back and walks back to his cruiser.
I sit here stunned and I feel like I got hit by a bus. Well, fuck. Do I read it or shred it? I pull into the parking lot right across the street from his house and stare at it. What he had to say is irrelevant now, but curiosity gets the best of me.
Liam,
Hey, man. I’m sitting here before heading out on this deployment and I have this weird feeling. I can’t explain it, but I don’t think I’ll make it back. I know we’re not supposed to think like that, but, well . . . it is what it is. I have a few things I want to ask of you and you’re the only person I trust.
Take care of Lee. I haven’t talked to anyone about this, but things have been hard for her. We’ve lost another baby and it’s killing her. I’m watching my wife dwindle to nothing, and I can’t stop it. She used to be full of love and light, but now she’s miserable. Make her smile and help her find happiness. I can’t give her the life she’s desperate for. So please, watch her, help her, dry her tears, and be there, because I don’t know how she’ll handle it. If you realize the gift she is and you fall in love with her, treat her right or I’ll fucking haunt you. There’s no woman in the world like her, and if she has to love anyone else other than me, I hope it’s you. I want her to find someone worthy, so if it’s not you, make sure he’s not a prick.
If by some stretch of a miracle she’s pregnant now, I want you to be like a father to him or her. You’re like a brother to me, and I need to know they won’t grow up not knowing anything about me. Tell them about all the trouble we caused and protect them from doing the same stupid shit.
I’ve thought a lot about some of the things we’ve talked about. How this life will eventually destroy you and a family, and I think you’re right. I’m not the same guy I was. I’ve seen too much, and while I’m proud of the things I’ve done, I carry guilt about Natalie. I’m a piece of shit. I don’t deserve her, but for some reason she loves me, and I keep hoping she never sees the bad in me.
Anyway, be good to her. And even in death, I’ll have your six.—Aaron
Once I pull into the drive, I grab on to my anger. He fucked around on her, got another girl pregnant, and then has the balls to be pissed at me. I respected her, loved her and his daughter. He even asked me to do all this and then he wants to act like I broke some damn man code. He can fuck off.