He nearly loses it as he grips the back of my neck and the sound of skin slapping overtakes the room. Heavy breathing, moaning, and our love making echoes. I close my eyes as he grips me tight and fucks me relentlessly. It’s heaven and hell. I fight my orgasm off, as I want to go over the edge together.
“Let go, goddamnit,” he says angrily. “Let me feel you lose it.”
He swirls his hips and circles my clit and I’m gone.
I moan and let myself go. Liam kisses my back and follows me over the edge a minute later. I fall flat on the bed, sated and exhausted.
“You’re incredible,” Liam says as he rubs my back.
I roll over and smile lazily. “You’re pretty incredible yourself. I’ll be right back.”
I sit up and head into the bathroom. I wrap my robe around me and look at the left side of the sink. Aaron’s old razor and toothbrush. They’ve been a part of the house and I forgot to get rid of them. I pick them up and hold them in my hand. I don’t feel anything though. No sadness, no anger just resignation.
Liam opens the door and sees me. He looks at my hand and then closes the door.
“Liam!” I call out and rush toward him.
“I’m going to go.”
“No! Please, it’s not like that,” I try to explain. I wasn’t mourning or anything, I saw it and picked it up. “Please, stop. Let me explain.”
He’s throwing his clothes on and tears start to form in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I need to go.”
“Stop!” I cry out and he turns. “I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t crying over his razor. I just saw it and I don’t know . . . I picked it up. It wasn’t like that.”
“What was it like?” He looks away, but I see the hurt in his eyes.
“I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”
Liam grabs my hand and I look up. “Try.”
“I saw it there, but I didn’t feel anything. I won’t feel bad though. You can’t expect me to be so unfeeling. You’re the first man to be in my bed other than him. You have to have some sympathy for that.” I wait for him to fully register what I’ve said.
“You think I don’t have sympathy for what you feel? You’re fucking kidding me. I’ve never said a word, but I’m fighting a damn ghost.” Liam’s words are sharp and he’s clearly upset.
“You’re fighting something on your own. I’ve never made you feel that way.”
His eyes meet mine before he turns away again. “Maybe not, but seeing you with that razor. Clutching it to your chest wasn’t my imagination.”
“You have two choices,” I say determined to end this, because he’s making it something it’s not. “You can either trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about or you can leave.”
“So easy for you?”
“Don’t.” I say with no room for an argument. “Don’t you dare make this my fault. This is all you.”
Liam steps toward the door and my heart sinks. His hand rests on the doorknob and he turns to me. “I just need a minute. I’ll be right back.”
I nod, understanding. “I can handle a minute.”
He steps toward me, and in an instant, I’m in his arms. He holds me close and breathes me in. “It’ll never be more than that,” he vows and then releases me.
I climb into bed and wait for his minute to pass.
“No, Mom, I hear you,” I say while trying to put the food we need for Corolla in the bag. I figure if we’re going for a week, we should pack what we can.
“Are you going to be back in time for her party?” she asks.
She’s flying in three days before Aarabelle’s birthday party to help. The flight from Arkansas isn’t cheap, and no matter how many times I explain I’ll be back a full week beforehand, she isn’t grasping it.
“Mom, everything will be fine. It’s a two-hour drive and Liam has to be back to work after that anyway.”
“I’m ecstatic you guys are going away again,” she admits. My mother has been extremely supportive of my relationship with Liam. She’s always loved him and knowing how great he is with Aarabelle is enough for her.
“Liam pretty much demanded it. I feel like shit taking off work again, but I’m going to do some stuff from there. I think it’s important though.”
I’m really looking forward to the trip. After about a week of arguing with him on how I didn’t think it was fair to request time off again, Liam made a valid point. I work with a team of former SEALs. All of them have had deployments and work ups, they all know what it’s like to be the one leaving and wouldn’t begrudge me a chance to spend the time with him.
Of course Mark gave me no argument and said he didn’t even need to run it by Jackson. I still felt guilty and almost hoped they would say no.
“Well, I can’t wait to see you and that beautiful granddaughter of mine.”
“We can’t wait to see you either. I’ll call you when I get back from Corolla.” I grab some snacks to throw in the bag. We leave in three days and at least this time I’ve had time to pack.
“Okay, have fun. Love you.”
We disconnect and I hear a car pull in the drive. The purr of the loud engine lets me know it’s Robin. Great, now he even has me calling the stupid car by its name. I head out toward the deck to see why Liam’s here. He told me he was super busy with training before the leave periods start.